Hey Jane,

Nice work here, I can really hear the essence of the song coming out in your vocals.

If there is room for improvement, I would look at the vocal phrasing, which in some places can sound a little rushed. The melody line is solid, but may need some variation in regard to using a lower or higher harmonic in places just to make it bite a little more.

Other than that, a solid write.

cheers, niteshift