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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 329
Top 500 Poster
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 329 |
When You Hold Me.
When you hold me Worries dissolve All my problems Are suddenly solved, Clouds of fear And uncertainty They disappear When you hold me.
When you hold me I feel unique Safe from the weapons Of greed and deceit, In the dark And when we see Time plays no part When you hold me.
bridge I may never know the distance Or where it leads to But far beyond my existence I know I will always love you.
Because When you hold me I burn inside My pulse increases And I glow with pride, My senses rest In tranquility I’m undressed When you hold me.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Sounds perfect to me, John I love the understatement. Just a perfect lyric.
Vic
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 329
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Thanks Vic, much appreciated, All the best,john
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 630
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 630 |
Hey John, Clouds of fear And uncertainty They disappear I would suggest "All" instead of "They". It's more "correct". However, all's fair in song. (Grammar and rhyme). But, a good write. Dave
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 329
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Thanks Dave, yeah I had it that way but switched it cause All was already used, if it ever hears a melody I'll let the singer decide, thanks again all the best,john
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
A well written piece John,good lyric Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
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Very well writen and I can defo hear this as a nice slow 3/4 country ballad. Just a nice straight ahead tune Loved it! cheers.
Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-) Just PM or email: Email -- mork1976@gmail.com
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 329
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Posts: 329 |
Thanks Travis and Andy,this was one of those bare minimum things,glad you like it all the best,john
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