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I caught myself trolling on the lyrics only forums the other day and found this gem of Mike's. He kindly allowed me to put some music to it. Let us know what you really think. Thanks, Ricki http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=830133&songID=13111170https://soundcloud.com/rickib/for-my-heartFOR MY HEART © Mike LeBlanc & Ricki E. Bellos My heart is frayed A little worn and torn By lovers who used it like a toy My heart was played Left out in the cold By lovers whose hearts were decoys It's only a little faded A new coat of love will make it shine Wash away what's been jaded A tender touch would feel so fine For my heart, for my heart My heart is strong Tested along the way By those who cheated my love away My heart belongs Right there side by side With a lover who won't let love decay REPEAT CHORUS A heart that’s true Would be a shame to waste Could it be you Come to save me REPEAT CHORUS REPEAT CHORUS
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thanx so much Ricki!You've done a great job on it.I dig the bridge you added and as always your performance is fantastic!I really appreciate this.Mike
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Nice melody on this you two.
Only suggs I have is to rephrase these lines as they sound a little rushed:
Tested along the way
By those who cheated my love away
With a lover who won't let love decay
Nice though. Vic
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No, no, thank YOU Mike for letting me play with your lyrics! It came together pretty fast, my preferred method of course. Ricki
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Thanks for listening Vic. Those lines are a little wordy but I could have done a better job singing and smoothing them out. We'll have to see if a re-sing is in order
Ricki
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Hey Ricki,
I like this one but I am in agreement with Vic on some of the words feeling a bit rushed. I think it could be stronger lyrically if the image changed there from the singer's heart to maybe the heart of his/her intended? Something suggesting that the other person might be a bit jaded too? Just a thought.
I could hear Neil Young singing this for some reason. It kind of has that vibe to it. I really like the bridge and how you resolved the music on the line "for my heart."
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we appreciate your time and thoughts Vic!Mike
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hey Wendy,glad you dropped in!I could turn it around like you suggested but it would make it an entirely new song so maybe that will work from scratch on a new one.Neil Young?Alright!Thanx Wendy.Mike
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Hi Wendy, thanks for listening. Like Mike said, maybe that's for another song. Two jaded hearts in one song may be one too many! Ricki
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Very nice guys. I count at least 3 musical hooks. Great melody Ricki. Really nice vibe and the music matches the lyrics nicely.
The bridge didn't really work for me BOTH lyrically and musically. It doesn't seem to advance the story much. I'd really suggest rewriting the bridge from scratch. See what you can come up with. The rest of this tune is SOOO strong.
Really nice job, both of you.
Peace,
Ian
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Hi Riki. I think this is delightful. The lyrics are great and the minimal backing also. My only suggestion is to drop one syllable. 'By those who cheated my love away' To 'By those who cheat my love away'. Cheers.
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Thanks for listening Ian and glad you like it for the most part. As for the bridge, sorry it didn't work for you. It felt right at the time. Ricki
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Thanks TuiGorge for letting us know you like this. Given that that verse is in the past tense, unless I can come up with a different way to say it, it really needs to stay "cheated". Most likely it's my phrasing that needs help. Ricki
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thanx for your time and thoughts Ian!Mike
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appreciate your stoppin' by Tui!Mike
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wow, I can hear all kinds of stuff going off in my head as I listened to this, you might laugh, but there's a smidge of early alice cooper in that melody to my ears. My only nit is the word "decay"......felt awkward, but that's one split second lyrically.
well done.
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Thanks for listening Mac. I hope none of that stuff going off in your head was anything you needed! Alice Cooper? I did not see that coming. Ricki
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alright Mac,thanx for stoppin' by!Alice mmm,i didn't catch that and i'm a huge Alice fan.I'll have to reset my ears again and see.Mike
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Hi Ricki and Mike, Beautiful lyric, and the words the singer sings are full of pain, but there's also some "light" in there, too, and that hope comes across in this minor key gem. Nice work, you two. Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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thanx a bunch Michael!Ricki did a great job.Mike
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Excellent write Mike, love the ending. And a nice performance Ricki, way to bring it to life. I agree with you 100%... Those lines are a little wordy but I could have done a better job singing and smoothing them out. We'll have to see if a re-sing is in order My thoughts exactly when performing my own works, which can be quite wordy. I never cut words to make it easier but I find the more I practice the piece, the easier it becomes to fit it all in or smooth it all out. Cool Collab
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Hi Michael, excellent write and you and Ricki make a good team on this. I commented a bunch this morning, don`t know how I missed this song.
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Thanks for stopping by Mike, and letting us know what you like about it.
Ricki
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Thanks for listening Nelson. Performing is not my thing. I try but fall way short of a singer. In more competent hands, or with more practice as you say, it would sing a lot smoother. Glad you like it.
Ricki
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Thanks Lane, glad you like it.
Ricki
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Excellent song musically and lyrically- a good vocal too. Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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we thank ya for the listen and comment Nelson!Mike
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thanx Lane,we appreciate your time!Mike
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hey Travis,thank you!Mike
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Thanks Travis, glad you like it.
Ricki
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