10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill),
4,088
guests, and
270
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
I'd been carrying the tune and most of the lyric of this song around with me for many years, then recorded it about a year ago. I recently updated the vocals and the mix, using some of the knowledge I've picked up since then. I'd appreciate any comments or suggestions, especially as this is something very different from what I normally do. I suppose lyrically, though not musically, it's maybe the closest I can get to the blues. And there are no jokes Click here for the song at SoundCloudCAN'T LOVE NO-ONE BUT HER (Words and music by Gavin Sinclair) My baby loves me Although sometimes you wouldn't know it She treats me bad She makes me so sad But only she can make me this warm inside Only she And when I see her Even only for a moment Those feelings wake And give my heart a shake Shaking free all those bad memories And I feel fine And though I try I can't get by Without my baby Rain snow or sun You know that she is the one I need beside me She's my baby Can't love no-one but her My friends all tell me I should find some other lover To treat me right And hold me tight at night Keep me warm When the wind blows so cold outside But they don't know her Don't know the touch of her fingers The smell of her hair A moment after she was there The air when she's done breathing it And I get my turn And though I try I can't get by Without my baby Other girls smile And once in a while I think just maybe But no They're not my baby Can't love no-one but her (Instrumental break) Can't love no-one but her
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 102
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 102 |
Gavin
I like your lyric. It captures the power of a co-dependent relationship really well - with all the emotions that can accompany it. I must say I really like your vocal tone - it takes me into some of the unique British folk voices I've enjoyed through the years.
By the way, I think I hear a British or Scottish lilt in your voice although I see you location is North Carolina. Am I off base with this?
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Mike, you are completely "on-base" I am Scottish (which is also British of course, at least for now). Been in North Carolina for more than 20 years but still have at least some of my accent, I guess. Maybe it works to my advantage if it distracts from my actual singing LOL. It makes me very confused musically - Scottish and Irish folk influences from my roots (I grew up playing along to those records), "Liedermacher" type stuff from time spent in Germany, pop, country because it's fun to write and even more fun to sing in a Scottish accent, and some stuff that doesn't really fit into any genre.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
Top 30 Poster
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831 |
Hi Gavin:
Not sure which I enjoyed the most... the song... or the back-story... LOL! Both are good and I can understand how disappointed you folks were after going to all that trouble. At least you had some "audience time" and a pro-recording group to preserve it for you.
The "burr" survives a bit, even after twenty years of Carolinian influence. Thanks for sharing.
----Dave
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985 |
Gavin,
A very interesting write. It kept my attention start to finish. Different and unique. Well presented (sung).
The production is nice - supportive. I thought you might add some subtle additions along the way to engage the ear further. Like, perhaps, a simple arp guitar in the second verse. And then some soft, subtle strings to underscore the final chorus. The sax was nice.
Interesting, enjoyed the listen.
fj
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Hi Gavin:
Not sure which I enjoyed the most... the song... or the back-story... LOL! Both are good and I can understand how disappointed you folks were after going to all that trouble. At least you had some "audience time" and a pro-recording group to preserve it for you.
The "burr" survives a bit, even after twenty years of Carolinian influence. Thanks for sharing.
----Dave Glad you enjoyed it, Dave. As for the back story - it's all true
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Gavin,
A very interesting write. It kept my attention start to finish. Different and unique. Well presented (sung).
The production is nice - supportive. I thought you might add some subtle additions along the way to engage the ear further. Like, perhaps, a simple arp guitar in the second verse. And then some soft, subtle strings to underscore the final chorus. The sax was nice.
Interesting, enjoyed the listen.
fj Those are some really interesting suggestions, Floyd. I'm going to try them out and see how it works. It's supposed to be a "spare" arrangement, so I need to avoid cluttering it. Subtlety, as you point out, is the key. I always picture someone singing a song live, and the image I have here is more intimate night club than concert hall. Maybe I'll try a single cello or something for the strings. Thanks for the great suggestions.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Gavin. I like some of this, however : It did occur to me that this may sound better in 4/4 swing time. Some of the lyrics feel a little crammed in and the synth bass is a tad prominent.
Just my opinion of course but it would be interesting to hear it that way.
All the best,
Vic
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Hi Gavin. I like some of this, however : It did occur to me that this may sound better in 4/4 swing time. Some of the lyrics feel a little crammed in and the synth bass is a tad prominent.
Just my opinion of course but it would be interesting to hear it that way.
All the best,
Vic That's interesting about the lyrics feeling crammed, Vic. Somebody else (not here) made a similar comment a while back. I can't hear or feel it at all, which might be a classic case of being too close to your own creation. It certainly didn't feel that way when singing it. Are there particular lines or phrases that stick out as having that "crammed" feel? Thanks for the observation about the bass too. That could also be in the mastering, which uses an Ozone preset that emphasizes the bass.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4 |
I enjoyed all of this and liked the comments. The Scottish feel to your voice adds a lot to it. Great job!
Douglas
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4 |
Quite unique Gavin and no doubt intentionally conversational. The vocal is good but i feel that at times the lyric is a tight squeeze . The song oveall is good and well produced. Best of look with it Travis
Last edited by Travis david; 07/23/18 01:31 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Thanks Douglas, Travis and Calvin.
Travis, you seem to be agreeing with Vic about the "tight squeeze" thing. There is some unusual phrasing, kind of in keeping with the conversational, confiding tone I was going for, as if the singer was talking directly and off the cuff. I thought I was being clever LOL.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 413
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 413 |
It's beautiful, and sung beautifully, too (no kidding!).
Your lyrics are great as always and flow well. Just two (very) tiny observations:
"Although sometimes you wouldn't know it" => leaving out the "it" would flow better
No need to worry about the corresponding line: "Even only for a moment" => since the stress is on "mo" it still would rhyme and blend well; "know it" - "moment" sounds a bit forced to me.
I also enjoyed the folding piano :-)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521 |
No parsing out or nits to pick here....
We just kicked back and enjoyed the totality of the production. It all worked for us. The production seems well designed to support the lyric and vocal. Sax is a nice touch too.
J&B
PS Cool backstory
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?" on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Thanks Bernd and Janice & Bud. Glad you liked it. I'm so appreciative of the constructive criticism I've received here. I'm working on one of Floyd's suggestions to see how it sounds. If I end up not using it, it's probably because I don't have the technical chops to make it work. Glad you enjoyed the back story. My band, "The Mysterious Beings," is full of interesting characters, none more so than Aldo Sachs on the alto sax. Actually, the back story would make a really cool video LOL. The Paris Metro would make a great location, camera switching between the singer and the object of his affection, following him through the tunnels, ending up beside a sax-playing busker. Wonder if I can claim a trip to Paris on my taxes
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Gavin. On the lyrics. It's hard to explain, it's to do with phrasing, but I'll give you an example.
"Although sometimes you wouldn't know it" the "you" could be brought forward half a beat. "sometimes" starts on beat one so try 1 and 2 "you" with the "wouldn't" on beat 3. :-) I said it was hard to explain.
Vic
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1 |
Hey Gavin:
I might play with the time signature as Vic suggested. But, fundamentally, I think the music is a great match for the lyric - hopeful sounding with a mournful undertone (the sax helped there). Just reading the lyric wouldn't get the full story across - but, when combined with the music it really comes through.
Scott
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Thanks Scott. I might try a 4/4 time signature just because that makes two people who have suggested it. It will probably just be out of interest though, because that would be a different song altogether. Who knows, maybe it will spark some inspiration for a new project This melody, complete with some of the lyrics came to me fully formed as I walked down the street many years ago. I must have been walking in 3/4 time LOL. It stayed with me because it was so easy and fun (to me, anyway) to sing with no accompaniment while walking home after a few beers.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
A little bittersweet & wistful but resigned to love someone...has to be done in 3/4 time. Just a minor lyric sugg... And give my heart a shake BREAKING free of all those bad memories ...just because I don't like repeating words unnecessarily. I love this verse: The smell of her hair A moment after she was there The air when she's done breathing it And I get my turn Nice one, Gavin. You and the band are in fine form. Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Gavin,
This is a pretty tune, that hits the mark on these type of relationships. I like the stripped production, and your vocal on this is very good—it all meshes together pretty darn well. Well done, Gavin. Great listen—and love that chill sax you added near the end. Sweet!
All the best,
Deej
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Thanks Ricki and Deej for listening and your kind comments. Ricki, that is definitely my favorite verse in the song, and the most fun to sing.
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|