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#1141991 - 06/16/18 10:53 PM Reaper  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,095
Deej56 Online content
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Deej56  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,095
Well, here's another monthly post--I'm getting down to the bare nubs of what I've written, so unless a mystic muse descends upon me, I'm guessing I have one or two others yet to post.

As for this one, I don't often write from life experience--largely because my life is so darn boring--but this one is loosely inspired by real life, where I had my own close battles with illness as child. It's a bit long, but hope you enjoy the read.



When I was a babe
I dared to live
though He labored at my door
to steal a shadow not full dark.

When I was older,
I rolled through familiar white halls
among the dead and dying
holding Mother’s hand tight,
hiding behind her warmth,
aware that He yet followed
but not wanting to look and see.

They took pictures of my trying heart,
but none told tales that day,
so what footsteps I thought I heard
fell silent, and with hope,
I moved forever beyond His reach.


When I was a boy
I traded my wheels for a fielder’s mitt
and my slippers for cleats,
and I lost myself among bats and balls,
and dreamed of playing center at Shea.

We’d spend summers by the lake,
and I’d fish with Father
in a spot only we knew—
where the fat ones went to die,
or so Father said, and wasn’t wrong.

How I would drown myself in those waters;
swim to the very bottom,
down deep where the black is ice cold;
where no one ever went,
and even He couldn’t see.

We’d go camping in mid-December,
When the trees were bare and the land raw;
We’d huddle round the fire
in blankets to keep the dark and cold at bay,
and share our stories and our jokes
until the last of the burning embers.

I would wake in the morning stillness,
and gaze upon the frosted pines and frozen lakes—
their beauty warmed my breath
and reminded me of life.

And there I found love in my family;
And I found faith in my God;
And I found hope in my being.

But when I was older,
I walked again through white halls,
reminded of a heart still fragile
and not yet free.
I was led to the room where I saw my insides,
and asked out.


When I was a young man,
I focused on teachers and texts
and sought to find my place
in a world I shouldn’t be.

And, yes, I lost myself in drinks and decadence.
And, yes, I danced and kissed the girls.
What else was there to do,
and why not do it?
Youth is wanting for the young—
I was far more prone to give it.

I forgot about family.
They would phone on Sunday mornings,
and we would talk, my head unclear,
about who and what and when;
I would say “Uh-huh” and a quick goodbye,
and rollover to sleep some more.

When I was older,
I found myself in a crowded room;
blue and red neon turned black,
and I slumped on a beer-stained carpet.
I woke to the shrill of sirens,
and felt my Father’s hand upon my cheek.


When I was a man grown,
I lost myself in dollars and stocks,
and options and futures,
though I felt I had none.
Depravity at its worst beckoned;
I confess I succumbed at my weakest moments.

And then I found love:
Her among the madness.
We tumbled in grass and meadow,
made love under a scarlet sky,
found serenity in the wonder of passion;
and I thought, “Now, now, I have lost Him.
Never again will He stand by my door.”

But when I was older,
I saw Him take my Mother,
and I wept for not crying more.

And I saw Him take my Father,
by then a shade of the man I knew.

And I saw Him take my only child,
who had a lesser heart than mine.

And I saw Him take my love, my life—

I drew breath yet,
But I knew then as I ever did
just whose I was.


I am old.
What more is there to take?
Come lay claim to him who You have marked.
I am ready.

(c)2014 DJ Lekich

Last edited by Deej56; 06/16/18 10:56 PM.
#1143866 - 08/14/18 08:54 PM Re: Reaper [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,075
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,075
New Hampshire
Wow, what a story, what a read...to share so much, this is over whelming and beautiful and I felt grateful to able to read it.



Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore

#1144133 - 08/23/18 10:26 PM Re: Reaper [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,095
Deej56 Online content
Top 500 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,095
Hi, Tams,

Well, sorry I haven't stopped in sooner to thank you for the read--things seemed so slow on this corner of the board that, I confess, I stopped checking. But I'm so glad you gave it a read and enjoyed it. The poem has its flaws (and it's mostly fiction after all), but it echoes my very early and close battles with illness, and so it likely resonates more with me than others,. Thanks for giving this a read.

My warmest regards,


#1144906 - 09/24/18 01:47 PM Re: Reaper [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 175
Perry Neal Crawford Offline
Serious Contributor
Perry Neal Crawford  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 175
The many forums beckon to the eyes of the seekers, and many threads in each can spread attention pretty thin. A few diamonds lie together with many lumps of coal. Your piece is truly a diamond and I am sad for any that have missed reading it.

#1144913 - 09/24/18 05:24 PM Re: Reaper [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 847
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 847
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Deej, I decided I couldn't have Perry feeling sorry for me for not having read this smile. Glad I did. Held me all the way through. Some very striking lines too: "and I wept for not crying more."

Glad I strayed over to this forum for the first time.

#1144942 - 09/25/18 11:02 PM Re: Reaper [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,095
Deej56 Online content
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Deej56  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,095
Perry and Gavin,

I've been finding it hard lately to check in on JPF more generally, let alone this little corner of its world--so I was pleasantly surprised to see your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed the read--thanks so much for stopping in. I know this one (as most of what I write) runs a bit long. But happy to hear it kept your interest nonetheless.

All the best,


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