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Joined: Feb 2013
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Any comments on my most recent write and recording are greatly appreciated. Down By The OceanMusic & Lyrics by David S. Becker Performed, Produced & Arranged by David S. Becker (c)2019 David S. Becker Music All Rights Resered https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/down-by-the-oceanINTROVERSE 1I'm going to a party Down by the ocean I've got a notion Trouble's a brewin' VERSE 2They say they’re meeting Down by the Seaside On the dirty part of town Where the trouble hides PRE-CHORUSThey love They hate They try to set the record straight Then the liquor flows With each body blow Cards are played A punch is laid Don't go down by the ocean CHORUS Johnny loves Sue But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew They'll make amends And buy some rounds The sun goes down its' rumble town Down by the ocean SOLOVERSE 3The party started quickly The Seaside Bar was packed Everyone was jacked VERSE 4In walks Sue And her new dude Stu And Johnny and Drew A few more too Time to CHORUS 2 X 2(Make a call) Johnny loves Sue (It's a free for all) But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew (It's s lover's brawl) They'll make amends And buy some rounds The sun goes down its' rumble town Down by the ocean
Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/03/19 04:20 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2009
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What a great story song David.
I followed every line and it held my interest right to the end.
And at the end the finish was cool... 'buy some rounds'.
My fav lines are the first 2 in the chorus.
Johnny loves Sue But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew
God Bless Roy
Last edited by Roy Cooper; 08/02/19 12:42 AM.
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Joined: Dec 2016
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Dave,
Great opening lick—really engaging throughout. Is that you playing? If so, very impressive. LIke the chord progression as well. Lyrically, my only nit would be to get rid of the “Don’t go” in the last line of the pre-chorus. Just struck me as changing the focus of the song, which is about being “down by the ocean” and not so much about “not going down” to the ocean. I also think it would emphasize the “down by ocean" hook and lead better into the chorus. Just a thought--use or lose, as they say.
Totally love the sound of this one—it’s got a bit of Springsteen feel to me, but still it’s own sound. Terrific stuff, Dave.
All the best,
Deej
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What a great story song David.
I followed every line and it held my interest right to the end.
And at the end the finish was cool... 'buy some rounds'.
My fav lines are the first 2 in the chorus.
Johnny loves Sue But Sue got caught with Johnny's friend Drew
God Bless Roy Thanks much for giving this a listen Roy. It is greatly appreciated. Dave,
Great opening lick—really engaging throughout. Is that you playing? If so, very impressive. LIke the chord progression as well. Lyrically, my only nit would be to get rid of the “Don’t go” in the last line of the pre-chorus. Just struck me as changing the focus of the song, which is about being “down by the ocean” and not so much about “not going down” to the ocean. I also think it would emphasize the “down by ocean" hook and lead better into the chorus. Just a thought--use or lose, as they say.
Totally love the sound of this one—it’s got a bit of Springsteen feel to me, but still it’s own sound. Terrific stuff, Dave.
All the best,
Deej Thanks, as well for listening and commenting Deej. Always appreciated. Yes, this is all me on this track, aside from the drums, which were programmed. I am playing my Tele Deluxe which you can see in the SoundCloud picture. Excellent thoughts. Thanks again. Dave
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Joined: May 2017
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Wow! This is great. Funny, I thought of Springsteen too. Not so much for the sound of it, but the way you paint the picture. Really enjoyed this. Listened twice and liked it even more the second time.
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Great theme Dave,brilliant song all round a good opener to me signing on the forum today Regards Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Wow! This is great. Funny, I thought of Springsteen too. Not so much for the sound of it, but the way you paint the picture. Really enjoyed this. Listened twice and liked it even more the second time. Hey Gavin ... Appreciate the double listens. Glad you enjoyed it! Dave
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Enjoyable sound. Liked the story too.
Martin
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Hi Dave, To me this is more like a Randy Newman kinda lyric (though I too hear bits of The Boss) with a Steely Dan musical precision and flare. And your last name is Becker!! The lyric, to me, is like the equivalent of Bergman's "Smiles of a Summer Night" (meets Beach Blanket Bingo?) --comedic in that the singer is recounting the various re-couplings of the ocean folks. The singer's also a little terrorized from afar by these folks, captured perfectly in your mama-told-me-not-to-come-like phrasing of "don't go down by the ocean." It is indeed a little movie and an enjoyable one at that. Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 08/03/19 06:41 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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I really enjoyed listening to this song. The lyrics and melody kept my interest until the end.
Jane
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Joined: Oct 2017
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I hear The Thrill is Gone in the intro, maybe Bruce's Soul Driver minus the swing feel
I enjoyed the emotional guitar playing, enjoyable listen.
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Great theme Dave,brilliant song all round a good opener to me signing on the forum today Regards Travis Thx much for the listen and comments Travis. Greatly appreciated. Nice work Dave !
Calvin
Thx for giving this a spin Calvin. Greatly appreciated.
[quote=Martin Lide]Enjoyable sound. Liked the story too.
Martin Thanks much Martin for listening and commenting. Hi Dave, To me this is more like a Randy Newman kinda lyric (though I too hear bits of The Boss) with a Steely Dan musical precision and flare. And your last name is Becker!! The lyric, to me, is like the equivalent of Bergman's "Smiles of a Summer Night" (meets Beach Blanket Bingo?) --comedic in that the singer is recounting the various re-couplings of the ocean folks. The singer's also a little terrorized from afar by these folks, captured perfectly in your mama-told-me-not-to-come-like phrasing of "don't go down by the ocean." It is indeed a little movie and an enjoyable one at that. Mike Ha ha! Thx Michael. I must say I am more of a Frankie and Annette fellow than Bergman. Interesting contrast. Also an interesting array of influence comments. Most people know the Boss has and always will be my musical idol. Also love Randy Newman (Sail Away is one of my favorite songs) and a big time Steely Dan fan, though they seem far too complex for anything I can put together. Somebody mentioned to me the opening reminded them of The Eagles, One of These Nights. I must say I had none of any of these bands or artists in mind when I penned this tune, though in retrospect I do hear a bit of One of These Nights in the opening progression. With all the music I have listened to over the years, hard not to have some things sink in. I really enjoyed listening to this song. The lyrics and melody kept my interest until the end.
Jane Thank you much Jane for listening and commenting. Much appreciated. I hear The Thrill is Gone in the intro, maybe Bruce's Soul Driver minus the swing feel
I enjoyed the emotional guitar playing, enjoyable listen. Appreciate the listen Fdemetrio. I love your Bruce references. Only a true Bruce fan can pull a reference from the Human Touch/Lucky Town years! While I, of course, dig his EStreet Band records more, I always thought those two albums were extremely under-rated. The Thrill is Gone? Wow! Thanks again for the listen. Thx again to all for listening and commenting. Dave
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Joined: Oct 2017
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Great theme Dave,brilliant song all round a good opener to me signing on the forum today Regards Travis Thx much for the listen and comments Travis. Greatly appreciated. Nice work Dave !
Calvin
Thx for giving this a spin Calvin. Greatly appreciated.
[quote=Martin Lide]Enjoyable sound. Liked the story too.
Martin Thanks much Martin for listening and commenting. Hi Dave, To me this is more like a Randy Newman kinda lyric (though I too hear bits of The Boss) with a Steely Dan musical precision and flare. And your last name is Becker!! The lyric, to me, is like the equivalent of Bergman's "Smiles of a Summer Night" (meets Beach Blanket Bingo?) --comedic in that the singer is recounting the various re-couplings of the ocean folks. The singer's also a little terrorized from afar by these folks, captured perfectly in your mama-told-me-not-to-come-like phrasing of "don't go down by the ocean." It is indeed a little movie and an enjoyable one at that. Mike Ha ha! Thx Michael. I must say I am more of a Frankie and Annette fellow than Bergman. Interesting contrast. Also an interesting array of influence comments. Most people know the Boss has and always will be my musical idol. Also love Randy Newman (Sail Away is one of my favorite songs) and a big time Steely Dan fan, though they seem far too complex for anything I can put together. Somebody mentioned to me the opening reminded them of The Eagles, One of These Nights. I must say I had none of any of these bands or artists in mind when I penned this tune, though in retrospect I do hear a bit of One of These Nights in the opening progression. With all the music I have listened to over the years, hard not to have some things sink in. I really enjoyed listening to this song. The lyrics and melody kept my interest until the end.
Jane Thank you much Jane for listening and commenting. Much appreciated. I hear The Thrill is Gone in the intro, maybe Bruce's Soul Driver minus the swing feel
I enjoyed the emotional guitar playing, enjoyable listen. Appreciate the listen Fdemetrio. I love your Bruce references. Only a true Bruce fan can pull a reference from the Human Touch/Lucky Town years! While I, of course, dig his EStreet Band records more, I always thought those two albums were extremely under-rated. The Thrill is Gone? Wow! Thanks again for the listen. Thx again to all for listening and commenting. Dave Very underrated. Lotta really good songs that never got airplay human touch was the only one that did. It was even hard to get tix for the alternate band during that tour. I managed to get them at william patterson college the line was outside in the parking lot I ended up going the night this video was made. Im not in it, was too far back, but this totally rocked https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouWEZPkbznQ
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Hey Dave!
You are sounding spectacular, what a great vibe you have going here. I like the simplistic lyrical approach with this really cool music. Just an awesome production, I was blown away with the mix.
Wearing a "producer's hat" I might want to experiment with using the early PC as a "digressive bridge" later in the song, as for me it has both a dramatic building and resolving feel unto itself rather than lifting the following chorus. Just a thought however, not a nit, and maybe I'm thinking too conventional. One other early line that you might experiment with this small lyrical tweak--"where the trouble resides." (Does trouble hide in the dirty part of town)?
You-d-man today!
steady-eddie
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@Fdem - I was lucky enough to score 2d row tickets to the Boss during the Lucky Town/Human Touch your at the Orlando Arena. What a great show!
@Eddy - thx as always for the comments and listen. Always greatly appreciated. This was a fun one to put together. It was nice to write a lyric for once that has absolutely no relationship to my own life!
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I love the rough and tumble mood of this one and the tough story it portrays, the music is perfect for the song lyrics, and you express your work so well.
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