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#1156382 - 09/11/19 05:55 AM Back From Who I Am 1st rewrite  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Eugene, Or USA
1st rewrite

V1
I'd forgotten back where I come from
When a man falls in the drink
There's no excuse for that thing he does
If he's hooked just let him sink

V2
So I decide it's time to drift away
My heavy heart becomes a rollin' stone
A weight that weighs on me so deep
I can't pack up and go back home

Pre chorus
Another shot in the dark
More voices in my head
Not a word of anybody, findin' some good in me yet

Chorus
Then she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

Her helpin' hands took no pity on me
She picked me up in sweet tough love
That took a load off a drownin' man
Now she's my savin' grace because

Pre chorus
Another shot in the dark
More voices in my head
Everybody needs a kind word, she's not through speakin' yet

Chorus
Since she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

Bridge
I wasn't lookin' for'ta be redeemed
When she pulled me from the depths
Every lost soul needs a beam of light
I found my truth and my happiness


Pre chorus
She was a shot in the dark
She's the sweet voice in my head
Every bit of love I need, andshe's not let go of me yet

Chorus
Since she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am




Back From Who I Am

(C) 2019 Geneva Griffin

V1
My hardened heart had turned to stone
That love gone wrong left me petrified
Kept me rollin' down twice shy road
A man once bitten he don't think twice

Chorus
Then she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

She'd chisel at my heart with love
Chip away at the life I'd chosen
Carve through to this man I become
Polish what was left beneath that stone

Chorus
When she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

Bridge
After bein' kicked around like an old tin can
Her love has rendered me a defenseless man
Whoever says a rollin' stone gathers no moss
Hasn't been in her arms where I wanna stay lost

Chorus
When she come along
She came on strong
It took one strong woman to change this man

Ya she came along
She still comes on strong
I melt like silly putty in her hands

Last edited by nightengale; 09/26/19 11:13 AM.
#1156532 - 09/18/19 12:18 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 562
JAPOV Offline
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I really like the chorus!

I think the verses need to be "written to" "back from who I am".... Does that make sense?
Like...

She's a master with a chisel
She knows my heart's a stone
She terrifies me
But at least I'm not alone.....

#1156573 - 09/19/19 02:49 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
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nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Posts: 4,096
Eugene, Or USA
Thanks Tony,

It took me a while to get it but now it makes sense. Ya, I just might give that a try.

Geneva

#1156578 - 09/19/19 04:10 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jun 2019
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Lol... A simpler way to put it is just make it all present tense. You've got a great hook here, keep working it. POUND IT INTO SUBMISSION!! smile
Do you have a rhythm/melody?

#1156972 - 09/26/19 04:23 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
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nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Eugene, Or USA
Thanks Tony I'm working on it trying something different.

Got no melody other than the head tune I wrote it to for meter, I don't count syllables.

Geneva

#1156975 - 09/26/19 06:46 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Mar 2009
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nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Posts: 4,096
Eugene, Or USA
1st rewrite

Trying to copy and paste to the top

V1
I'd forgotten where I came from
When I fell into the drink
There what I do makes me what I am
I'm just hooked and about to sink

V2
So then I drift like a rollin' stone
With a heart heavy as rock
A weight that weighs on me so deep
Can't pick back up where I didn't leave off

Chorus
When she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

Her helpin' hand took no pity
She didn't judge with her tough love
That took a load off a drownin' man
Now she's my savin' grace because

Chorus
When she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

Bridge
I wasn't lookin' for redemption
When she pulled me from the depths
Every lost soul needs a beam of light
I found truth and happiness

Chorus
When she come along
She came on strong
Bound to love me back from who I am

Last edited by nightengale; 09/26/19 06:53 AM.
#1157353 - 10/05/19 10:48 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 562
JAPOV Offline
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JAPOV  Offline
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Posts: 562
I wish responding to a thread automatically put you on the follow list lol....


I had forgotten where I'm from
When I fell into the drink
What I do is what I am
And that boat was about to sink

I took solace in the storm
And dared the cold, dark deep
Flew my Jolly Roger and
To hell my soul to keep

But the sea did me a favor
And a siren was my savior

She's a warm west wind
She's my anchor and a friend
She’s a tempest in a dress
when I'm turned around
I never felt so strong
Until she came along
Bound to love me back from who I am

Just a thought... smile

#1157717 - 10/13/19 01:51 PM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 77
CTthomas Online content
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Posts: 77
Nice

#1158602 - 11/14/19 01:21 AM Re: Back From Who I Am [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
John W. Selleck Offline
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John W. Selleck  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,859
NJ
Hi Geneva,
Nice to see you again. Your songwriting is progressing well. I really like this one.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost

http://www.soundclick.com/johnsings
http://www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
http://www.soundclick.com/johnselleck

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