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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Nov 2011
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A little song about Little Lies. Comments welcome. https://90dbband.bandcamp.com/track/little-liesLittle Lies Copyright 2019 Robert Randall Burke The fine wines The white lines Tools of temptation The long dark hallways Of your imagination All the little stories All the little lies I never saw them In your eyes. I was just A pastime Lamb to the slaughter A plaything A gold ring For the devil's daughter. All the little secrets All the little lies I never saw them In your eyes. I was just A pastime Lamb to the slaughter A plaything A gold ring For the devil's daughter. All the little secrets All the little lies I never saw them In your eyes I never saw them In your eyes.
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Enjoyed the song. Thought the lyric was stunning. Thanks for sharing.
----Dave
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Joined: Sep 2019
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I like the lyrics but the music does nothing for me. It can be better musically.
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
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Good word economy in the lyrics which are really good. Lots to like here musically - solid vocals, guitar work, drums. Perfect arrangement, length. No nits from me and I've been known to pick them Paul
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Joined: Sep 2017
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This is a good song with lot's of verve in the mix. Very well done.
Your vocal delivery sounds a little like Peter Gabriel. Especially when you sing the line " in your eyes". I like it!
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Enjoyed the song. Thought the lyric was stunning. Thanks for sharing.
----Dave Thanks for the listen, Dave. Loved your last one too. Regards, Bob
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I like the lyrics but the music does nothing for me. It can be better musically. Sorry you didn't care for the music, but thanks for listening anyway. Regards, Bob
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Good word economy in the lyrics which are really good. Lots to like here musically - solid vocals, guitar work, drums. Perfect arrangement, length. No nits from me and I've been known to pick them Paul Paul, Thanks for the kind words. I'm a big fan of your stuff as well. Regards, Bob
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Hi Bob, You have a really strong song here. The verse melody has a classic George Harrison feel (circa "While My Guitar Gently Weeps") and is married perfectly to the lyric. Because of the space between lines, in the last verse, as I was listening I was imagining a piano echoing the vocal melody 2 beats later, then realized you could use your lead vocal instead (with a digital delay), or sing the echo yourself, or use an instrument to do that, like the aforementioned piano. I only mention this cuz I was expecting some kind of addition there, like...for the arrangement to add another instrument or something, and so I was hearing it strongly in my head. The only other thing I could imagine was harmonies above your vocals on the chorus. Very beautiful song and I enjoyed it very much. Mike PS...whoops! I noticed upon re-listening your lead guitar is adding nice fills in the last verse..I guess then I was hearing those echoes in spite of the last verse being thickened..
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/14/19 05:26 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Bob,
Like everything about this one. Engaging vocal—really accentuates the melody on the first two lines of the chorus—killer. Wonderfully done . . . man, that chorus is an ear worm. Cool stuff!
My humble regards,
Deej
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I like the mood of this song. I like the voice and the guitar.
I agree that it sounds like Harrison... and maybe Dire Strait...
Have fun!
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This is a good song with lot's of verve in the mix. Very well done.
Your vocal delivery sounds a little like Peter Gabriel. Especially when you sing the line " in your eyes". I like it! Jane, Thanks for the listen and kind comments. Regards, Bob
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Hi Bob, You have a really strong song here. The verse melody has a classic George Harrison feel (circa "While My Guitar Gently Weeps") and is married perfectly to the lyric. Because of the space between lines, in the last verse, as I was listening I was imagining a piano echoing the vocal melody 2 beats later, then realized you could use your lead vocal instead (with a digital delay), or sing the echo yourself, or use an instrument to do that, like the aforementioned piano. I only mention this cuz I was expecting some kind of addition there, like...for the arrangement to add another instrument or something, and so I was hearing it strongly in my head. The only other thing I could imagine was harmonies above your vocals on the chorus. Very beautiful song and I enjoyed it very much. Mike PS...whoops! I noticed upon re-listening your lead guitar is adding nice fills in the last verse..I guess then I was hearing those echoes in spite of the last verse being thickened.. Mike, Thanks for the listen and critique. Regards, Bob
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Joined: May 2007
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Really good concise writing that is so descriptive. Good rhymes that sing so well.
I like: "The long dark hallways/Of your imagination."
The music has an ominous feel to it. Nicely done!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Bob,
Like everything about this one. Engaging vocal—really accentuates the melody on the first two lines of the chorus—killer. Wonderfully done . . . man, that chorus is an ear worm. Cool stuff!
My humble regards,
Deej DJ, Thanks for the listen and kind remarks. Love what you've been doing lately as well. Regards, Bob
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I like the mood of this song. I like the voice and the guitar.
I agree that it sounds like Harrison... and maybe Dire Strait...
Have fun!
Guy, Appreciate you taking the time to listen. Regards, Bob
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Really good concise writing that is so descriptive. Good rhymes that sing so well.
I like: "The long dark hallways/Of your imagination."
The music has an ominous feel to it. Nicely done!
Kristi Kristi, Thanks for the kind comments. Appreciate it. Regards, Bob
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Joined: Nov 2011
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Hey Bob!
Comments Welcome..........so here are some:
I like especially the verse melody--(and yes I immediately felt Beatles "My guitar gently weeps," although you're not exact on that melody--which is a good thing).
I might suggest that you boost the volume a bit with the guitar solo and "build" that area up a bit. You might also drop the chorus after the solo and go directly to the 3rd verse--I don't see this as a "chorus hook driven song," and that you will actually empower the last chorus by this delayed omission. Then on that last chorus, do not tag the last two lines, rather go back to vs and fade out slowly with this very cool verse music--as IMO this verse melody with the concise verbal delivery is the strength of your song. You will not add song time if you cut the chorus after the solo. Another option--is to possibly cut a couple measures from the intro, as this song's verse is raring to be launched and doesn't need a long intro IMO.
Now this is an optional alternative production arrangement--not saying it is better, just how I might interpret doing it and just sharing that idea with you. None of us would produce a song exactly the same, so don't think I'm not liking what you have, I do and wouldn't spend this much time here if I didn't! I'm certainly not saying my suggestions are necessarily better........use or lose.
A great write, and definitely strong potential here!
steady-eddie
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Hey Bob!
Comments Welcome..........so here are some:
I like especially the verse melody--(and yes I immediately felt Beatles "My guitar gently weeps," although you're not exact on that melody--which is a good thing).
I might suggest that you boost the volume a bit with the guitar solo and "build" that area up a bit. You might also drop the chorus after the solo and go directly to the 3rd verse--I don't see this as a "chorus hook driven song," and that you will actually empower the last chorus by this delayed omission. Then on that last chorus, do not tag the last two lines, rather go back to vs and fade out slowly with this very cool verse music--as IMO this verse melody with the concise verbal delivery is the strength of your song. You will not add song time if you cut the chorus after the solo. Another option--is to possibly cut a couple measures from the intro, as this song's verse is raring to be launched and doesn't need a long intro IMO.
Now this is an optional alternative production arrangement--not saying it is better, just how I might interpret doing it and just sharing that idea with you. None of us would produce a song exactly the same, so don't think I'm not liking what you have, I do and wouldn't spend this much time here if I didn't! I'm certainly not saying my suggestions are necessarily better........use or lose.
A great write, and definitely strong potential here!
steady-eddie Eddie, Thanks for the thoughts on production. Regards, Bob
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