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#1158273 - 10/27/19 06:31 PM traffic and alarms  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,988
maccharles Offline
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maccharles  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,988
I walked out to the back deck, half asleep and wondering where you were. Wind had kicked up, making the tall firs dance, straining to hold their roots under a sullen gray vortex forming high above.

I spotted you there in the grass, on your knees, legs tucked and your bare foot bottoms juxtaposed as usual, focused on something I could not see. As I walked off the deck and made my way to you, our beautiful black cat shadowed me, wanting to know what I would soon know. Your butterscotch curls danced over your shoulder blades, teased in the gusts. I approached and saw a velvet ant in your hand....

"sweety, you shouldn't mess with her"

"it's okay, she's quite calm".

Your sweet voice always calming me, I stood and watched as the cow killer crawled across your pale palm. I looked up into the dark branches of a stately fir, two hundred feet high and swaying. I could hear the creak of it as it twisted in the wind that was getting stronger.

"sugarplum, you need to come inside".


There was no answer from you, velvet ant crawling around your hand, wind taking a branch off a tree next door. Primo, our cat, decided to break for the house as I knelt down to say it in your ear..... " I need you to come with me"

You hesitated, stood..... then bent to let the wingless wasp find it's way off your palm to the ground.

You turned your golden eyes to me and said "I needed her, like you need me, like I need you"

You walked past me, never turning, and I was left with breaking trees and roof shingles coming off the near by houses.

I turned to see a robin, wing broken.........I moved to pick her up and the whole world vanished.



I woke to the sound of traffic and an alarm clock.

#1158301 - 10/28/19 04:36 PM Re: traffic and alarms [Re: maccharles]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,177
lane1777 Offline
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lane1777  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,177
south of the mason,dixon line
very cool write..


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158502 - 11/08/19 11:44 PM Re: traffic and alarms [Re: maccharles]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,104
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,104
New Hampshire
In the cacophony, the only thing that is clear is the need to be heard, nurtured, listened to and time. The peace in the eye of the hurricane, the simplicity. You must have been longing for something my friend. I hope you find it.

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#1158508 - 11/09/19 10:29 AM Re: traffic and alarms [Re: maccharles]  
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,143
Gavin Sinclair Online content
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Gavin Sinclair  Online Content
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 1,143
Conover, North Carolina, USA
Kind of dreamily beautiful. Very vivid and does a lot with few words.

I had never hear the terms "velvet ant" and cow killer" before. It meant a lot more when I googled them. (It will also help me to know not to touch them).

#1158541 - 11/10/19 10:21 AM Re: traffic and alarms [Re: maccharles]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,781
Gary E. Andrews Offline
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Gary E. Andrews  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,781
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
I imagined a more present-tense reverie and reportage of the Protagonist's experience:

I walk out to the back deck, half asleep and wondering where you are. Wind has kicked up, making the tall firs dance, straining to hold their roots under a sullen gray vortex forming high above.

I spot you there in the grass, on your knees, legs tucked and your bare foot bottoms juxtaposed as usual, focused on something I can not see. As I walk off the deck and make my way to you, our beautiful black cat, Primo, shadows me, wanting to know what I will soon know. Your butterscotch curls dance over your shoulder blades, teased in the gusts. I approach and see a velvet ant in your hand....

"Sweety, you shouldn't mess with her."

"It's okay. She's quite calm."

Your sweet voice always calming me, I stand and watch as the cow killer crawls across your pale palm. I look up into the dark branches of a stately fir, two hundred feet high and swaying. I can hear the creak of it as it twists in the wind that is getting stronger.

"Sugarplum, you need to come inside."


There is no answer from you, velvet ant crawling around your hand, wind taking a branch off a tree next door. Primo decides to break for the house as I kneel down to say it in your ear..... " I need you to come with me."

You hesitate, stand..... then bend to let the wingless wasp find its way off your palm to the ground.

You turn your golden eyes to me and say "I needed her, like you need me, like I need you."

You walk past me, never turning, and I am left with breaking trees and roof shingles coming off the nearby houses.

I turn to see a robin, wing broken.........I move to pick her up and the whole world vanishes.



I wake to the sound of traffic and an alarm clock.


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com

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