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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Oct 2019
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I wrote this all the while thinking "I'm not going to write something cheesy". But if you think it is cheesy, I will be happy. Thanks for listening and any advice on how to make it cheesier My Cheesy SongMy girl has a job in a cheese shop We meet in a room at the back We whisper so no-one can eavesdrop Except for the Monterey Jack This is my cheesy song I swear it won't be very long Its notes are as sharp as an old Parmesan But I hope you can sing along Her lips are a soft Mozzarella Her skin is a smooth Camambert I love when she calls on her fella To remove Gouda chunks from her hair This is my cheesy song I swear it won't be very long Its notes are as sharp as an old Parmesan But I hope you can sing along I am her Edam - she is my Eve We roll in a garden of Feta and Brie Jalapeño kisses as hot as an oven She melts my resistance with her cheesy lovin' And This is my cheesy song I swore it wouldn't be very long But I have to go now - our pizza is done And so is this cheesy song Yes I have to go now - our pizza is done And so is my cheesy Easy Brie-zy And so is my cheesy song!
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Hi Paul
I like this a lot, very clever lyrics..
Maybe some wine added somewhere would make it taste a tad better.. maybe not..
God Bless Roy
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Hi Paul
I like this a lot, very clever lyrics..
Maybe some wine added somewhere would make it taste a tad better.. maybe not..
God Bless Roy Thanks Roy Cheers Calvin - I'm happy to be here Thanks for listening guys
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Morning, Paul:
Glad you found us. Clever song... well performed. Send more soon. I hope you've "found a home" with us.
All the best, ----Dave
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Hi Paul, Loved this. Put a big cheesy smile on my face. Impossible to not be in a good mood after listening. The only thing I'd consider changing would be to nix the article "the" preceding Monterrey Jack in the first verse, giving the listener a little mystery which helps make them want to "turn the page"... --and probably the only time in music listening history a person will ask themselves, "is that a man or (the) cheese?" When singing "brie-zee"--since it sounds just like breezy (a homophone?)-- think about truly breaking up those syllables, giving brie maybe a dotted half note and then a full stop--otherwise folks might miss that "brie" is in there. Sure, that one'll get a groan, but still.... And be aware that since you use "brie" earlier at the end of a line, that weakens the punch of the "brie" at the end..are there any other popular cheeses with a long ee sound that could work to rhyme with "eve"....? just thinking aloud..cheddar is a poor rhyming word, but cheddarly..hmmm....Lady Cheddarly.....now I'm just having fun at your expense. I apologize for that. I'll shut up now. BTW, welcome to JPF! Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/11/19 12:17 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Morning, Paul:
Glad you found us. Clever song... well performed. Send more soon. I hope you've "found a home" with us.
All the best, ----Dave Thanks Dave - looking forward to hearing more tracks on here. Looks like a thriving community Hi Paul, Loved this. Put a big cheesy smile on my face. Impossible to not be in a good mood after listening. The only thing I'd consider changing would be to nix the article "the" preceding Monterrey Jack in the first verse, giving the listener a little mystery which helps make them want to "turn the page"... --and probably the only time in music listening history a person will ask themselves, "is that a man or (the) cheese?" When singing "brie-zee"--since it sounds just like breezy (a homophone?)-- think about truly breaking up those syllables, giving brie maybe a dotted half note and then a full stop--otherwise folks might miss that "brie" is in there. Sure, that one'll get a groan, but still.... And be aware that since you use "brie" earlier at the end of a line, that weakens the punch of the "brie" at the end..are there any other popular cheeses with a long ee sound that could work to rhyme with "eve"....? just thinking aloud..cheddar is a poor rhyming word, but cheddarly..hmmm....Lady Cheddarly.....now I'm just having fun at your expense. I apologize for that. I'll shut up now. BTW, welcome to JPF! Mike Thanks Mike - glad you liked it - some good points. I initially had "especially Monterey Jack" which would have been ambiguous too. I racked my brain for another cheese sounding like "eeee". I wanted to keep it to commonly known types though so may have boxed myself in. Good spot on brie-zee. It was a last minute add-on which I am sure can be annunciated more like "brie". Thanks again for taking the time Paul
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This is delightful! Do you write Musical Comedy? You have a very Musical Comedy type of delivery.
Enjoyed it immensely.
Regards,
Bob
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Loved it Paul. Reminds me of Roger Miller and Ray Stevens type song. Not a bad group to be thrown in.
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Hi Paul,
Your name sounds familiar - think you might have been on another forum I used to be on.
Well, anyway welcome to JP folks.
Love your piano playing and vocal and your production is right on.
If you mixed this yourself, it is very good. I love humor in songs and you nailed this one.
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This is delightful! Do you write Musical Comedy? You have a very Musical Comedy type of delivery.
Enjoyed it immensely.
Regards,
Bob Thanks Bob. I guess I must write musical comedy - though I never set out to. Loved it Paul. Reminds me of Roger Miller and Ray Stevens type song. Not a bad group to be thrown in. Thank you! - I'll take that comparison any day Hi Paul,
Your name sounds familiar - think you might have been on another forum I used to be on.
Well, anyway welcome to JP folks.
Love your piano playing and vocal and your production is right on.
If you mixed this yourself, it is very good. I love humor in songs and you nailed this one.
Hi Jane - yep - been on other forums for a while. This seems like a friendly one too Thanks for the kind remarks on my cheesy song
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Joined: May 2017
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Ha! I loved it. And yes, I was singing along. Your voice is perfect for this kind of song and, for me, the production is spot on. Nice gentle humor.
Welcome to JPF, I'm really looking forward to hearing more.
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Paul,
Killer first post! Magnetic from the start . . . pulls you right in, and then the harmonies on the chorus keep you wanting to listen. Deft hand on production on this one; nicely layered as the song progresses. Impressive write and production. (And stellar use of the spoken word to add to the tune). The harmonies on the close—sweet. Admirably done!
Oh, and welcome to JPF!
My very humble regards,
Deej
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Ha! I loved it. And yes, I was singing along. Your voice is perfect for this kind of song and, for me, the production is spot on. Nice gentle humor.
Welcome to JPF, I'm really looking forward to hearing more. Thanks Gavin Paul,
Killer first post! Magnetic from the start . . . pulls you right in, and then the harmonies on the chorus keep you wanting to listen. Deft hand on production on this one; nicely layered as the song progresses. Impressive write and production. (And stellar use of the spoken word to add to the tune). The harmonies on the close—sweet. Admirably done!
Oh, and welcome to JPF!
My very humble regards,
Deej Cheers Deej - very kind of you
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Nice to meet you, Paul and welcome to JPF. This is about as cheezy as it gets! I think you've hit on all the popular types and so cleverly too, I've got nothing to add. Well done! Ricki
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Hi Paul, These are cleverly written lyrics that go to very cheesy depths! Those near rhymes are so creatively conceived: “cheese shop/eavesdrop, cheesy song/Parmesan Mozzarella/fella...and the list goes on. Very enjoyable! Good production too. I really enjoyed the whimsy of it all! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Nice to meet you, Paul and welcome to JPF. This is about as cheezy as it gets! I think you've hit on all the popular types and so cleverly too, I've got nothing to add. Well done! Ricki Thanks for the warm welcome Ricki - nice to e-meet you too! Glad you found it cheesy. (never thought I'd say that ) Hi Paul, These are cleverly written lyrics that go to very cheesy depths! Those near rhymes are so creatively conceived: “cheese shop/eavesdrop, cheesy song/Parmesan Mozzarella/fella...and the list goes on. Very enjoyable! Good production too. I really enjoyed the whimsy of it all! Kristi Thanks Kristi - nice to hear that from an obviously accomplished lyricist And thanks again for anyone that took the time to listen Paul
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You are a cheese Wiz, and you have captured the tangy tasty essence of dairy whey. I am off to make a grilled cheese cause you made me hungry. Well Done Paul.
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You are a cheese Wiz, and you have captured the tangy tasty essence of dairy whey. I am off to make a grilled cheese cause you made me hungry. Well Done Paul. Thank you kind sir - glad you found it cheesy enough Paul
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Paul,
Again, I just came from your more recent post--you have a great art for music comedy--love this early 20th century music intermixed with Beatlesk harmonies--unique! You have some real talent for sure!
steady-eddie
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couldn't find any holes in this cheesy song,love it.Mike
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Paul,
Again, I just came from your more recent post--you have a great art for music comedy--love this early 20th century music intermixed with Beatlesk harmonies--unique! You have some real talent for sure!
steady-eddie Thanks Eddie I guess my first two were musical comedy hehe Never set out to write that but gotta go with wherever my muse takes me. Thanks for listening and commenting couldn't find any holes in this cheesy song,love it.Mike Cheers Mike - there's plenty of holes but glad they didn't jump out at you - thx for the kind words
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Definitely clever and well done. The arrangement and delivery feels very Broadway to me. Nice work.
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Howdy Paul, Like Jane says, looks and sounds like you've been doing this awhile. This reads and sounds great. Tickled my funny bone. Look for a PM from me and welcome to JPF.
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Brilliant ! cheers, niteshift
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Hi Again Paul, You have a PM waiting.
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Nicely done Paul
Cheesy,... I don't know.
Outstanding... most definitely.
Ear candy... indeed.
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Definitely clever and well done. The arrangement and delivery feels very Broadway to me. Nice work. Cheers David - broadway sounds good to me Howdy Paul, Like Jane says, looks and sounds like you've been doing this awhile. This reads and sounds great. Tickled my funny bone. Look for a PM from me and welcome to JPF.
Thanks John - such a warm welcome I have gotten here - appreciated! Brilliant ! cheers, niteshift Thanks niteshift - glad you liked it. Nicely done Paul
Cheesy,... I don't know.
Outstanding... most definitely.
Ear candy... indeed.
Thanks for the kind words Nelson! Hope I haven't missed anyone - if so - thank you too Paul
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Totally made me blow my diet, thanks for that!
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Totally made me blow my diet, thanks for that! Sorry about that - thanks for listening!
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A unique experience Paul! Good lyric well thought through One for Wallace and Gromit I'm sure. Well done John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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