Who's Online Now
27 registered members (couchgrouch, Chris Wood, Dave Rice, Aaron Corley, Deej56, 9ne, ckiphen, CTthomas, 5 invisible), and 397 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Mimmo
Mimmo
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 153
Joined: August 2018
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Let's Leave Behind This Crazy World (w/ T. David)
by couchgrouch. 08/11/20 03:27 PM
I was only me
by Deej56. 08/11/20 02:25 PM
"I Saw Jesus Today" Country
by swestern. 08/11/20 02:18 PM
Hang On To Yourself
by Deej56. 08/11/20 01:56 PM
Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger
by Deej56. 08/11/20 01:55 PM
Every night is Christmas Eve
by ckiphen. 08/11/20 11:43 AM
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by Sunset Poet. 08/11/20 11:11 AM
I Paint the Town
by couchgrouch. 08/10/20 10:56 AM
How Many Fingers Am I Holdin' Up
by kevinism. 08/10/20 06:45 AM
Best Moment Of My Life Original Song
by E Swartz. 08/09/20 07:43 PM
Piano (instrumental)
by Irwin. 08/08/20 11:49 PM
This is for collaboration
by Irwin. 08/08/20 11:44 PM
I Wear My Heart
by John W. Selleck. 08/08/20 10:27 PM
limericks
by CTthomas. 08/08/20 04:39 PM
Itís Getting Pretty Complicated Right Now
by CTthomas. 08/08/20 03:51 PM
A heart in Love never lies
by ckiphen. 08/07/20 09:28 AM
Conversations In A Minor Key
by Gerry. 08/07/20 06:09 AM
VIDEO is done...ĒSpread Your Wings & FlyĒ
by Steve Altonian. 08/06/20 09:37 PM
I Been There
by Songbird52. 08/06/20 09:16 PM
Peace of Mind
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:13 PM
A Day In The Life
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:12 PM
Hard World Waiting
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:11 PM
Sea of tranquility
by ckiphen. 08/06/20 02:53 PM
Wisdom's Wildfires
by Perry Neal Crawford. 08/06/20 01:04 PM
60 Happy Years
by Dave Rice. 08/06/20 09:34 AM
Your Guitar (Now with alternate bridge)
by John W. Selleck. 08/05/20 01:35 PM
Children of the same God
by ckiphen. 08/05/20 01:25 PM
Encore in the house of the Lord
by ckiphen. 08/05/20 01:06 PM
You Touched Me
by John W. Selleck. 08/04/20 10:11 PM
ChrisWMusic
by Gavin Sinclair. 08/04/20 05:50 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,921
Kevin Emmrich 10,677
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,803
Dave Rice 7,766
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,620
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,683
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,104
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,815
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,519
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,846
MidniteBob 2,712
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Fdemetrio 2,478
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Sunset Poet 2,067
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
Deej56 1,324
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Gerry 1,221
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,184
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
IronKnee 1,009
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 944
9ne 931
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 674
Katziis 652
Moosesong 642
Pat Hardy 641
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
R&M 527
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
ckiphen 443
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1158071 - 10/21/19 11:20 PM Rising from the Dead (Updated)  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Hi, all:

I've finished a more robust version of this song (well, by "finished" I really mean I've taken it about as far as I can, I think) . . . so I'm opening the thread back up. The original post is below with the original "acoustic" take, for those that might want to compare. Surprisingly, while I thought I would keep it stripped, I ended up going slightly bigger than that . . . for better or worse. More likely the last, LOL, but I offer it up for what it is. For what it's worth, I did try to address the comments on the vocal mix in this version--perhaps not successfully, but I'll leave that for you folks to weigh in on.

My regards to you all.

Deej

The New Version:

Rising from the Dead


The Original Post:

Here's a song I started writing while I was vacationing in Italy this past summer. The hook/refrain came to me while on a boat out of Porto Santo Stefano, sailing along the Maremma coast . . . it took these past few months to finish the lyric and tune--even now just an acoustic take (just me on guitar) I will probably still tweak a line here or there, but before doing a more produced version (which I'd intend to keep fairly stripped), I though I'd share for thoughts and suggestions. Thanks in advance for your feedback -- Deej

Hereís the song:

Rising from the Dead (Accoustic)

Here are the lyrics:

Driving north to nowhere out of Rome
from the grasp of ghostly fingers round my soul.
With every turn and every mile
my face recalls a buried smile
that hints of freedom I have never known
in the rolling fields and hills that lie ahead . . .
As I drive along these Tuscan roads
Iím rising from the dead.

Gliding cross the blue Tyrrhenian Seaó
the sun and wind upon my skin, and I can breathe.
In the boneyards I forgot
the things I am and those Iím not,
and here Iíve found the better part of me.
So the emails on my phone all go unread . . .
As I sail along the Maremma coast
Iím rising from the dead.

And Iím trying to leave it all behind;
in my mind, to break the ties that bind.
So the New York City push and pull
that tears my soul and wears my will
it somehow seems to vanish more in time,
as I find me in my head . . .
Underneath these Tuscan skies
Iím rising from the dead.

Some day that life will call me home
and lay its claim to my body and my bones.
And if thatís meant to be somehow
it donít matter much to me right now,
Iím worlds away in a heaven all my own.
ĎCause the sun just turned the sky Barolo red . . .
As it dips beneath the Tuscan hills
Iím rising from the dead.

(c)2019 DJ Lekich


Last edited by Deej56; 12/04/19 03:42 AM.
#1158072 - 10/22/19 12:14 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,098
Michael Zaneski Offline
Top 50 Poster
Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,098
California
Hi Deej,

Nice performance and a beautiful lyric. In the first verse, the way the imagery moves along is breathtaking! Same with the second verse, and although I've never heard of that sea, the exotic name spurs my imagination on..and if it weren't for the emails, I'd be lost there along with you.

But that's the point of the song! The singer's struggle and temporary victory over a life that is binding..as becomes clear in the bridge, where your voice appropriately soars like it does so well..the only line that was so "poetic" to me that it made me pause to figure it out was "wears my will" as it sounded like maybe an old warhorse of a phrase that had somehow gotten passed my radar for sixty years, but nope..so I still puzzle over its meaning, wondering if you are meaning something like "breaks my will."

"As I find me in my head" was a little confusing, too..that image seems to relate more to his New York experience(?), cuz in Tuscany his senses were engaged and back-to-life (..if I'm reading you right) so I am wondering if something like "that was me when I lived in my head" is something like what you are meaning, there. Then maybe adding, "BUT underneath these rising skies.." just to re-enforce he's talking about NYC, then Italy.

I thought the tempo maybe a tad fast? Your voice can probably relax more into the song at a slightly slower tempo and really help sell the tag line even more. The current tempo, though, does sell the singer's plight over finding that inner..something..that can help him learn to carry that "Tuscany feeling" with him back to the States since he must return, as we learn with "Some day that life will call me home" --it's a subtle thing, but the faster tempo relates more to the States, somehow, and a slower one would relate more to him having found that inner peace..all totally subjective thinking on my part..

Lovely work. I agree, keep it simple..

Mike



Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 10/22/19 12:18 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#1158079 - 10/22/19 06:32 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Two Singers Online content
Two Singers  Online Content

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Northern Alabama
Hi Deej ...

Love the song! I lived in Europe almost 12 years and can identify with your geographic references ... that adds a little extra pleasure in the song for me.

Self-discovery is great thing, eh??!! No matter when, where or by what means. You have a unique voice that's very pleasant to listen to. Your upper register, on the chorus, was a very pleasant surprise. You lost nothing in tonal quality or vocal strength. Nicely done! And I like the "folky" presentation. Not much to complain about here. if I may, just one small suggestion, for what it's worth ... possibly trim the higher EQ on the vocal just a wee bit.

If these comments were of any value, I'm delighted. I did enjoy your song very much!

Alan

#1158082 - 10/22/19 08:30 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,766
Dave Rice Online content
Top 30 Poster
Dave Rice  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,766
Texas
Morning, Deej:

I read each line... sometimes more than once... and I began imagining how you were going to perform such a nearly perfect lyric. You never cease to impress me with your willingness to stretch the bounds and borders of what I call real music. The song works well exactly the way you performed it. Thanks for making my morning down here in the quiet chaos of another day in West Mayberry. Someday, if I live long enough, I'll be able to say, "Yeah, we did a couple of songs together a year or two ago, before he became famous with that unique voice."

Best of luck with this one... it has all the right stuff to carry you far.

----Dave

#1158098 - 10/22/19 04:57 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,184
lane1777 Offline
Top 500 Poster
lane1777  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,184
south of the mason,dixon line
Always a pleasure listening to you DJ
and your writing is always impeccable...in my case if I were anywhere around Italy you`d be hearing a "pizza song
from me. nice performance in this song, lots of heart in there.. Lane


"Some have a need to chisel in stone, All have a need to be heard" Vincent
#1158103 - 10/22/19 11:06 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,519
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,519
Ohio
Hey Deej!

What great lyrics! I could relate a bit as Italy has a way of capturing your spirit given aesthetics, history, and the passion inherent within their country--been there and all over a good portion of that county! I get your theme, but I'm sure these are the type of lyrics that you could tweak forever searching for the best expressive articulations--I'd only entertain a certain amount of lyric polishing, as I can tell these lyrics were inspired.

I know you need to push your tenor range for the music as written, in which you do very well and are on pitch for sure--but maybe soften the eq a bit with your "mid to high mids" slightly if possible--as with this modest production, your vocal doesn't have anything to compete with in finding the top of the mix. Maybe also adding a little air in key places to your vox will "pull" the listener to the story even more - IMO.

What a great write/performance/lyrics/melody--I'm impressed, and even though I share alternative production sugs, doesn't mean they're better........just what's in my reactive soul kitchen!

steady-eddie

#1158135 - 10/23/19 12:27 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Mike, Alan, Dave, Lane, and Eddie:

Thanks for the listen and great suggestions. It will give me something to think about moving forward.

Iím going to close down this thread for now; at least until next run through. This feedback is really helpful. My thanks again.

Deej

#1158373 - 11/01/19 11:10 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,926
MFB III Offline
Top 100 Poster
MFB III  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,926
ohio
incredible story telling that paints a picture in the listener's head and sets a mood that is so entertaining.

#1159209 - 12/04/19 03:39 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Hi, all:

Bumping this thread per my update in the main post.

MFB III: Apologies for the delayed reply . . . but I do appreciate your comment on giving this a read even though I had closed the thread. That's dedication!

Regards,

Deej

#1159211 - 12/04/19 04:15 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
JAPOV Offline
Top 500 Poster
JAPOV  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 563
Yep, fantastic lyric!
I donít know if Iím just biased, but I listened to the original all the way through and loved it! The rhythm of V2 is just... well........
I think in V2 you need to double-time the strum on that acoustic, pull the drums back to just a simple bass-rim tap-high hat kind of thing, and up the tempo just a smidge. It needs more "bounce" smile

#1159212 - 12/04/19 06:29 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
John W Selleck Offline
Serious Contributor
John W Selleck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
Hi Deej,
I didn't see it referenced but this feels a who lot like the folk of the late 60's early 70's which I listened to a lot and wholly enjoyed, as I did yours. I actually took a road trip with Joan Baez when she went to see her husband up in Lompoc prison and was part of a demonstration for him outside the gates. This kind of song brings back many memories. This has a great feel and I really enjoyed your pickin'. Thanks for sharing.

#1159222 - 12/04/19 09:38 AM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,519
E Swartz Offline
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,519
Ohio
Deej,

Hey nice job! I like both directions with your productions--but you have achieved "gluing" your vocals much better with your new mix version, given your style of vocal delivery. Your new version pulled me into lyrics and the song much better--vocals are sitting much better. Well done.

steady-eddie

#1159233 - 12/04/19 12:05 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
Top 40 Poster
Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Wisconsin
Deej, what a cool road song...very visual lyrics. The production supports them so well and your vocal really brings home that theme of rebirth. Well done.

Ricki

#1159246 - 12/04/19 01:39 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,620
Vicarn Online content
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Online Content
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,620
UK
Another good one, Deej.
I liked it all.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1159279 - 12/04/19 10:14 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 123
PaulCanuck Offline
Serious Contributor
PaulCanuck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 123
Hi Deej

I know I'm late to the party here but had to say I really like this.
As others have said, great lyric and story.
Hook is well placed and respected - so important IMO.
I have two tiny nits - hardly worth mentioning - I found the snare a bit too loud. I know they say it should be as loud as the lead vox but for this one, it seemed a bit too aggressive. The second nit is where you sing the first high note in the chorus..To me the slur is a bit too long - maybe get to that high note just a tad faster? Probably just my personal pref there.so ignore at will. smile

Good work on this song smile
Paul

#1159328 - 12/05/19 10:33 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: JAPOV]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Thanks, JAPOV, glad you liked the lyric. Iíll need to think through your suggestions re the second verse. May be a bit beyond my technical skills at this point. But definitely food for thought. Appreciate the listen and comment.

Deej

#1159329 - 12/05/19 10:36 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Thanks, John. Appreciate your giving this a spin and glad it brought back memories. Road trip with Joan Baez, really? Very, very cool.

Cheers,

Deej

#1159331 - 12/05/19 10:39 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: E Swartz]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Thanks, Eddie. My last few tunes Iíve been trying to focus on getting my vocal to sit better in the mix. And certainly had your prior feedback in mind as I did this version. Thanks for helping make this sound better.

All my best,

Deej

#1159332 - 12/05/19 10:40 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Ricki E. Bellos]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Thanks a ton, Ricki. Glad you enjoyed the listen.

Hope all is well with you.

Deej

#1159333 - 12/05/19 10:42 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Thanks, Vic. Appreciate the listen.

My best to you as always,

Deej

#1159334 - 12/05/19 10:46 PM Re: Rising from the Dead [Re: Deej56]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Deej56 Online content
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,324
Paul,

Late to the party is better than never! Two great suggestions. I wanted the drums to pop on this, but listening again after reading your comment and I agree they can come down a bit. Definitely will tweak that. As for the slur, vocally Iím not sure I could hit that high note that quickly; that is, the slur helps me get there. But Iíll give it a shot and see if it works.

Again, great suggestions. Appreciate the listen and the feedback.

Kind regards,

Deej


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
Dean_McAlister, Chris Wood, CBAY, mrpeepshow, Craig Allen
21286 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,616
Posts1,135,114
Members21,286
Average Posts Daily35
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0