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#1159215 - 12/04/19 07:05 AM Explodin' Jeans  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
John W Selleck Offline
Serious Contributor
John W Selleck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
I would say I don't know where this came from but that's not true. I saw a pair of 250+ pounders come into a bar one night wearing jeans they had to have put on laying down with lots of baby powder to slide into them, then went to a buffet and got their money's worth before coming to the bar. The thought of what would happen when that top button was released put the fear of God into me. It has been waiting to be written for a while.

Explodin' Jeans

I used to go out to the bars
To find a little action
But I was very picky
And found little satisfaction
It wasn't about beauty
Just the form that they came in
To put it in a simple way
I really like 'em thin

I found one the other night
That really fit the bill
Not only was she dead hot but
She had looks to kill
She looked me up and down
With a come on in her eyes
I took her invitation
She really was a prize

When I got her home
I couldn't wait to see
All of the delights
There in front of me
There is no explanation
For this thing that I see
When I popped the top button
They were explodin' jeans

Turnaround 4 bars

Her bottom didn't match her top
It really was a shame
Her genes had done her dirty
Only them to blame
But I am a gentleman
I did my very best
Not to show my feelin's
It put me to the test

When I got her home
I couldn't wait to see
All of the delights
There in front of me
There is no explanation
For this thing that I see
When I popped the top button
They were explodin' jeans

The moral to this story is you never really know
How it all will end till you see what's below

Instrumental break 8 bars

When I got her home
I couldn't wait to see
All of the delights
There in front of me
There is no explanation
For this thing that I see
When I popped the top button
They were explodin' jeans

Copyright 12/2019
John W Selleck BMI

#1159253 - 12/04/19 02:19 PM Re: Explodin' Jeans [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 96
CTthomas Online content
Serious Contributor
CTthomas  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 96
Beautiful! I loved it and so funny!

#1159265 - 12/04/19 06:10 PM Re: Explodin' Jeans [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
John W Selleck Offline
Serious Contributor
John W Selleck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
Hi CT,
Thank You. Glad you like it. I wrote another along these lines quite a few years ago called 2 stool woman. And no, not bathroom stools. here's a link. https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=6036911

#1159309 - 12/05/19 12:38 PM Re: Explodin' Jeans [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,604
beechnut79 Online content
Top 100 Poster
beechnut79  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,604
Villa Park IL
One thing I get out of this one is contradictory in that you mention that you like 'em thin and then the woman busts her jeans. Was this meant to be when you made an exception to your own rule and took a 250# woman home and this was the result?

#1159322 - 12/05/19 06:28 PM Re: Explodin' Jeans [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
John W Selleck Offline
Serious Contributor
John W Selleck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
Hi Brain,
Thanks for the visit, and no, not a 250+ #'r. He found one that looked great till he got her home opened the top button and all the extra flesh exploded out. Hence her bottom not matching her top.


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