Who's Online Now
25 registered members (couchgrouch, CTthomas, Chris Wood, Andy K, Dave Rice, beechnut79, ckiphen, E Swartz, Gary E. Andrews, 3 invisible), and 667 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Cindy Miller
Cindy Miller
Harlan, Iowa U.S.A.
Posts: 4,178
Joined: July 2001
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Let Me Live The Dream
by beechnut79. 09/17/20 06:50 PM
I Can Dance
by beechnut79. 09/17/20 06:47 PM
by beechnut79. 09/17/20 06:45 PM
In Your Dreams
by beechnut79. 09/17/20 06:44 PM
Finders Keepers
by beechnut79. 09/17/20 06:42 PM
helping hands?
by ckiphen. 09/17/20 06:22 PM
What's Behind a Rainbow
by John W. Selleck. 09/17/20 05:39 PM
re- write god forsaken man
by John W. Selleck. 09/17/20 05:24 PM
My One And Only One
by johnparagreen. 09/17/20 03:42 PM
Breakout West 2020 Music Industry, Sept-Oct
by Gary E. Andrews. 09/17/20 03:02 PM
Tribute to the Greats!
by John Lawrence Schick. 09/17/20 02:17 PM
Mary Lou Sudkamp
by lane1777. 09/17/20 12:39 PM
The Latest Thing
by Vicarn. 09/17/20 07:33 AM
by John W. Selleck. 09/16/20 11:48 PM
Lost At Sea
by John W. Selleck. 09/16/20 11:43 PM
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by John W. Selleck. 09/16/20 11:37 PM
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 10:42 PM
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 10:37 PM
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 10:32 PM
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 10:23 PM
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 10:20 PM
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 10:14 PM
We Just Called Her Mom
by E Swartz. 09/16/20 09:28 PM
::: Pretty All Over :::
by Guy E. Trepanier. 09/16/20 06:21 PM
Don't Say I told you so
by John W. Selleck. 09/16/20 05:51 PM
::The Source - a hip hop anthem ::
by LunaSimone. 09/16/20 03:19 PM
by Travis david. 09/16/20 02:23 PM
Like the Sun going down in flames
by ckiphen. 09/16/20 09:55 AM
by ckiphen. 09/16/20 09:45 AM
by Marc Barnette. 09/16/20 08:50 AM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,949
Kevin Emmrich 10,749
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,907
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,840
Dave Rice 7,828
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,670
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,691
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,120
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,816
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,604
E Swartz 3,552
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,856
MidniteBob 2,712
Fdemetrio 2,680
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Sunset Poet 2,316
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
Deej56 1,325
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Gerry 1,229
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,199
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
IronKnee 1,030
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 952
9ne 932
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 761
Andy K 747
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Irwin 679
Lee Arten 678
Pat Hardy 652
Katziis 652
Moosesong 645
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
Tink2 553
musica 539
R&M 528
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
ckiphen 510
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 357
papaG 353
Z - man 350
John K 348
JamesDF5 347
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1159325 - 12/05/19 09:43 PM Uphill Both Ways  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
John W Selleck Offline
Serious Contributor
John W Selleck  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 99
While writing a comment in the shout box, I ended up with this hook. Hope it works for ya.

Uphill Both Ways

I remember when my last love fell apart
It felt like forever gluein' pieces of my heart
I thought the hurt would never end
I wouldn't chance the pain to try again
But distance from the damage let me go
To a place where again I let love show

Don't care if I'm fallin'-------} Chorus
Into love or out
Sometimes is seems
I just want to shout
Why is this so hard
A struggle every day
Like my Daddy said
It's uphill... Both ways

With chestnut hair and eyes an emerald green
The most interesting woman I had seen
Came floating through the crowd in front of me
My heart was beating saying set me free
I thought I couldn't find the words to say
And all at once I'm back into the fray

Don't care if I'm fallin'-------} Chorus
Into love or out
Sometimes is seems
I just want to shout
Why is this so hard
A struggle every day
Like my Daddy said
It's uphill... Both ways

She said hello and much to my surprise
I said it back and looked into her eyes
She said this won't ever be easy for you
To win my love there's lots you need to do
There's many ways for you to go astray
I said I'm used to goin' uphill every day

Don't care if I'm fallin'-------} Chorus
Into love or out
Sometimes is seems
I just want to shout
Why is this so hard
A struggle every day
Like my Daddy said
It's uphill... Both ways

Instrumental Break 8 Bars

Don't care ifI'mr fallin'-------} Chorus
Into love or out
Sometimes is seems
I just want to shout
Why is this so hard
A struggle every day
Like my Daddy said
It's uphill... Both ways
Uphill... Both... Ways

Copyright 12/2019 John W Selleck BMI

#1159787 - 12/19/19 12:46 PM Re: Uphill Both Ways [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,821
Gary E. Andrews Online content
Gary E. Andrews  Online Content

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,821
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Verses serve the function of exposition, exposing the storyline, the set-up for the Chorus and the main point of a Song. There seems to be a lot of exposition here, maybe too much, keeping them waiting too long to get to the point. The Chorus is long too, so overall time becomes a concern. If you sing it, how long does it take to execute? That might tell you if it's too long.

I always want the pronoun, the 'I' to be the 'actor' for the 'action' of the verb.

Don't care if I'm fallin'...


I don't care if I'm fallin'...

The 'shout' Rhyme seems like a Grab-A-Rhyme, Rhyming for the sake of Rhyme, without adding much to the storyline.
I run through the alphabet searching for other Rhymes that might be meaningful in the storyline. About, bout, clout, doubt, too early in the relationship to talk about your gout, house - a Near-Rhyme, joust, lout, mouth - ooo! That could work. pout, rout, south, tout.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#1159804 - 12/19/19 07:13 PM Re: Uphill Both Ways [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,277
John W. Selleck Online content
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,277
Hi Gary,
Thanks again for your interest and comments. Like you I have been at this a while and understand the basics. Most lyrics I've seen leave many people wondering "Where is the meat to this story". I have been asked many times, please explain why he/she feels this way. One of the only lyricists I have seen that tells it all is Couch Grouch. I love his style so I am always working to make my mine more descriptive, within time constraints. I will sing this through on an MP3 and see where it comes out, if too long I will adjust as needed to 3:00 to 3:30. I will look at the "Shout" and may rewrite both lines there. Thanks again.
New Chorus:
Don't care if your fallin'-------} Chorus
Into love or out
Sometimes I wonder
What's it all about
Why is this so hard
A struggle every day
Like my Daddy said
It's uphill... Both ways

Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
#1162259 - 03/18/20 01:21 PM Re: Uphill Both Ways [Re: John W. Selleck]  
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 96
CTthomas Online content
Serious Contributor
CTthomas  Online Content
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 96
John. I like the new chorus.

#1162375 - 03/25/20 10:28 AM Re: Uphill Both Ways [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,027
Marty Helly Offline
Marty Helly  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,027
Florence, MA, USA
Feel like you've got four perfect lines to the hook in the second half of the chorus.
The rest doesn't read/sing in my head well.
But those four lines are gold.

Marty my home

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again!
#1162435 - 03/27/20 11:36 AM Re: Uphill Both Ways [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 510
ckiphen Online content
Top 500 Poster
ckiphen  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 510
- Select One - huntsville, te...
I like the chorus.

#1163456 - 04/20/20 06:48 PM Re: Uphill Both Ways [Re: John W Selleck]  
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,172
summeoyo Offline
Top 500 Poster
summeoyo  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,172
Harrisburg, PA, USA
I like the story-line and the Up Hill Both Ways theme. I'm with Gary and Marty on their comments.I'd recommend losing the" I don't care" part of the chorus. It makes the singer seem callous. A general statement like "It doesn't matter" would be a safer line. I don't get what "I just want to shout" adds to the chorus. Length is a concern here also. Why not convert V3 to a bridge as it brings a resolution to a decision to allow oneself to go "uphill" by falling in love again? Lose the instrumental and last chorus to get it down to a time length that the pros want.


Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.

Newest Members
johnparagreen, theodorekidd, stupid_blogger, TrueMusicHelper, Dean McAlister
21291 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Average Posts Daily41
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"Stop the process I call 'waiting to live.' This is the worst type of procrastination, because there will always be another 'reason to wait' lurking ahead. Once you are in this rut, it is nearly impossible to get out of it. Instead, adopt a 'Live as you Go' mentality." -Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Tom Hellsten (71), zack.simmen (36)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0