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Hi, all:

In the past year or so, I've collaborated on a few songs with Christian Devienne, who resides in France and who I think puts together some terrific music . . . but this is the first time I'm posting one of our collaborations here on JPF. It's actually the fifth song I've done with Christian, but only the second where I've written the lyrics to accompany his composition.

Christian creates a lot of wonderful blues and jazz flavored tunes, as well as an assortment of ballads . . . but looking to take a vacation from ballads, I had asked him to send me something a bit more upbeat. He sent me the music to this tune, and I penned the lyrics and tried my best to sing it true. I thought it was worth sharing here, and I hope you enjoy it. As always, your comments and suggestions are much appreciated.

My best to you all,

Deej

Here's the song:

A BURNING SUN

And here are the lyrics:

Devil shadow on the ground:
Used to be I used to own this town,
broke every heart that love would dare my way.
Cruised through endless lover’s arms
with a wild smile and cool, cool charm—
They knew it but they loved me all the same.

Then she walked in with those supple hips,
fire blue eyes and red hot lips—
Lord, that woman scorched my very tongue.
She lit me up like rocket fuel,
then left me here a melted fool,
boiled down to the nothing and no one . . .
In a burning sun.

It’s funny how the things you do,
in the end, they fall back on you—
I see it now, but still it don’t seem fair.
I tried to put things back the way they were,
find a cooler place from a still hot her,
but next to her no other love compares.

So I drown all sense of what it means
in tequila shots and Jimmy Beam—
anything to keep me feeling numb.
In the midst of all this misery,
I’m not the man I used to be,
stuck here growing old and dying young . . .
in a burning sun.

(Cool, boy . . . get a grip,
walk it back . . . get over this;
cool, boy . . . make it right,
grab some shade . . . get her gone tonight.)

But it don’t matter how hard I try,
I can’t get that girl out of my mind.
Devil woman, tell me what you’ve done!
I’ve lost the power to erase
the memory of her temptress face—
a vision in my head I can’t outrun . . .
it’s a burning sun.
Yeah, she’s a burning sun.

(c)2020 Christian Devienne/DJ Lekich

Hi Dave and Christian
Initially I was dazzled by the sun on the link, a good start!. I really enjoyed this one and noticed its in the Rock category which is interesting as I also could imagine Waylon Jennings doing this one, even though you have a dislike fir country Dave.
Great sound, I hope it shines further for you two
Regards
John

Hey Deej,

Great write and a well delivered tune.

Small nit ? The vocal track is fine, but sounds a little thin. A notch up on the mid EQ and a ramp up on the vocal compression would give it more presence.

Rock on !

cheers, niteshift

Good one Deej.
Yes, maybe fatten up the vocal a bit.

Vic

Travis, niteshift, and Vic:

Thanks for the listen, kind comments and feedback. Christian is handling the yeoman’s chore on the mix, but I’ll relay the suggestion regarding the vocal tweak. Glad everything else seemed to work for you.

Stay well all of you!

Deej

Hi Deej and Christian:

An exceptional collaboration. Welcome to JPF, Christian... let's hope we hear more from you soon... and Deej is the perfect guy to introduce you to us. I liked everything I heard and believe it has real commercial potential somewhere out there in the music world.

All the best, ----Dave

Oh yeah! Love this. Have you thought of some background oohs in the chorus? That could add some oomph more than just fattening the vocals in my opinion.

Dave and Gavin,

Thanks for stopping in. Christian puts together some wonderful music . . . I should really get around to posting a few of the other things I've done with him. But I'm glad you liked this one.

Gavin, actually I never thought about laying in back up vocals on this one, and I'm not sure why. But you're right, it would bring a whole layer of depth to that chorus that may be missing. Something I'll have to think about revisiting. Your comment is spot on--the song would be the better for it. Thanks.

Hope both of you are safe and healthy in these troubled times!

My best to each of you,

Deej

Great job! killer song.

Hey Deej,

This is a killer melody and great lyrics too. I like your performance too. For me this is a classic Southern Rock vibe song which was the birth of Country Rock IMO. No nits with the production, but I thought it might be worth exploring making your song's title more powerful and relatable to the lyrics. My thought/idea is establish in the first verse "she's like a burning sun." In the next verse use "like a burning sun." For me, "In the Burning Sun" doesn't express the song's theme as well--let that title be a "metaphor," not a place.......I know you state in the last verse she's a burning sun, we need that earlier--but JMO. Use/lose/explore.

Great song Deej, I really like it!

steady-eddie

Hey there Deej....this has a smokin' Allman Bros. mood to it. Great flow and a great write.
And it was mentioned that Waylon could have nailed this one......I agree. This appeals to all the country rockers in the room.
Good stuff!
-Tom

Nice tune, I like the build on the chorus. Strong lyrics overall but it seems a few lines could be stronger or at least more unique/clear.

>They knew it but they loved me all the same.

Wanted something stronger than "they knew it"? They hated me? They knew I lied? They called me cruel?

>find a cooler place from a still hot her

"still hot her" was a little suprising but "next to her" comes in the next line and it felt like it shoudl be one or the other, not both.

great job!

..ant

Carroll, Eddie, Tom and ant:

Thanks for the listens and suggestions. Much appreciated.

Eddie: The more I listen to this song, the more I think you have the right of it. I have saved "She's a burning sun" to the end, but I think it's better that I use that the first time, for the reasons you've stated. If I get around to re-doing this one, I'll make that change.

ant: Some good food for thought. On the first point, I'm somewhat limited given the syllables I have to work with . . . your alternatives are overall better descriptions, but not sure they fit within the space I have. That's somewhat why I landed where I did. But it's still worth exploring to see if there's a better option. I was also worried about "still hot her" immediately preceding "next to her"--using "her" too closely together twice. But I was comfortable the two lines embodied different thoughts, so that they worked despite that. But maybe worth revisiting again. Thanks for the very thoughtful comments.


My best to all of you,

Deej