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#1165594 06/19/20 06:00 PM
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https://www.reverbnation.com/pollychase/song/31704641-sad-stories

Now the summer has come,
so send me some love,
send me your hea-eart,
let it fly like a dove.

Oh send me your hea-eart,
let it sing like a bird,
sing me sad stories,
the saddest I-I ever heard.


There's a la-and they say
on God's golden shore,
by the bright crystal ocean,
where we won't weep no more.

Well he walked on the sea,
turned water into wine,
an' he rose up to heaven,
may we all go there sometime.


Is there trouble in heaven?
Well I guess I don't know.
But I guess there'll be trouble
wherever we go.

Is there money in heaven?
Don't know but I'm to-o-old,
the cities in heaven
are made of +si-ilver and gold.


Oh once I was lost,
well it seems I still am,
even God can't find me,
an' there's only me to blame.

Oh the summer has gone,
so send me some lo-o-ve,
send me sad stories,
down from hea-eaven above.

Songbird52 #1165637 06/20/20 06:50 PM
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Thanks for sharing, Polly:

Enjoyed my listen. Best wishes for success in all you do.

----Dave

Songbird52 #1165701 06/21/20 02:11 PM
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Thanks Dave.

Songbird52 #1165703 06/21/20 02:46 PM
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Lovely song..
The vocal needs bringing up in the mix.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

Vicarn #1165705 06/21/20 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Vicarn
Lovely song..
The vocal needs bringing up in the mix.

Vic



Thank you! Ok, I will try that.

Songbird52 #1165741 06/22/20 09:41 AM
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Hi

This is a nice song, although I'm not sure I fully understand it. I love the part about 'trouble in heaven', that is almost worthy of a hook on its own. There are some timing issues with the guitar arpeggios speeding up and slowing down but that is also part of the charm.

I enjoyed listening

Nigel

Nigel Quin #1165749 06/22/20 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Nigel Quin
Hi

This is a nice song, although I'm not sure I fully understand it. I love the part about 'trouble in heaven', that is almost worthy of a hook on its own. There are some timing issues with the guitar arpeggios speeding up and slowing down but that is also part of the charm.

I enjoyed listening

Nigel



Thanks for the review! I'm not sure I fully understand the song either, but then I don't fully understand life so that's what happens.

I think the song is mostly about how in the dark we really are down here.

I will try to improve the timing.

Songbird52 #1165751 06/22/20 11:35 AM
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Very nice, Polly! Like Nigel, I'm not sure I understand it. I understand the individual parts, but not so much how they fit together. Didn't stop me enjoying it, though smile

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Originally Posted by Gavin Sinclair
Very nice, Polly! Like Nigel, I'm not sure I understand it. I understand the individual parts, but not so much how they fit together. Didn't stop me enjoying it, though smile



Haha, yeah I had a little trouble figuring out where I was coming from with those lyrics.

Thanks for listening!

Songbird52 #1165764 06/22/20 07:57 PM
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Very nice Polly. Nice finger playng on the guitar. I agree the vocals need to come up a bit. It reminds me alot of some of the female driven British folk coming out of the 70's like Sandy Denny. It gave me a "Where has the time Gone" feeling. Nicely done.

Dave

Songbird52 #1165790 06/23/20 07:42 AM
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Thank you Dave!

Songbird52 #1165910 06/25/20 08:06 PM
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What is the chord progression used in this song?

Could you explain your finger playing on the guitar for all of your songs?

Thanks in advance.
_ _ _ _ _
Have fun!

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Originally Posted by Guy E. Trepanier
What is the chord progression used in this song?

Could you explain your finger playing on the guitar for all of your songs?

Thanks in advance.
_ _ _ _ _
Have fun!



There is an A and a B section.
For the A section the chords are:
G
Em C
G C
Em

For the B section the chords are:
G Em
Am
G Am
G Am G

I use open G tuning, which is standard tuning for bluegrass banjo. The finger picking is sort of related to bluegrass banjo three-finger picking.

Songbird52 #1165956 06/27/20 04:07 PM
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Polly,

Another nice tune from you. You already have some good feedback for things to consider. I’m in the camp where the message is a little lost here. Each verse stands well on its own—each a nice write—but difficult to see the connection between them. It’s a pretty tune, well sung and performed (terrific playing, actually) I think it’s worth tinkering some with the write—it would really make this song pop.

Best regards,

Deej

Deej56 #1165962 06/27/20 05:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Deej56
Polly,

Another nice tune from you. You already have some good feedback for things to consider. I’m in the camp where the message is a little lost here. Each verse stands well on its own—each a nice write—but difficult to see the connection between them. It’s a pretty tune, well sung and performed (terrific playing, actually) I think it’s worth tinkering some with the write—it would really make this song pop.

Best regards,

Deej


Thank you Deej. I see your point, the message is not clear. But sometimes I like to be confusing. Remember the 1960s when we were so confused by some of those songs?

Anyway, this one does have a sort of clear meaning for me. Ambiguity and uncertainty I guess is the message.

Songbird52 #1165997 06/29/20 01:44 AM
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Hi Polly..............Good stuff.
I like it. Neat picking!

Songbird52 #1165999 06/29/20 03:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Songbird52
Originally Posted by Deej56
Polly,

Another nice tune from you. You already have some good feedback for things to consider. I’m in the camp where the message is a little lost here. Each verse stands well on its own—each a nice write—but difficult to see the connection between them. It’s a pretty tune, well sung and performed (terrific playing, actually) I think it’s worth tinkering some with the write—it would really make this song pop.

Best regards,

Deej


But sometimes I like to be confusing. Remember the 1960s when we were so confused by some of those songs?



I know huh? I grew up on this stuff...All my first songs only made sense to me, & that was just how we rolled...

Then you get to a FORUM & they tell you that your lyrics have to make sense...

Like really? What songs did you grow up on? All the best songs of the 60's & 70's taught a slew of writers that our lyrics didn't really have to make sense.....

But....When you don't have LSD & "Shrooms", the game changes...


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
Songbird52 #1166000 06/29/20 06:11 AM
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Polly and Steve,

You’re right, of course. And Lord knows I have my share of songs I love—for the sound, for the vibe—that to this day I have no idea what the song’s about. And sometimes the song is the better for it. And it’s not just the 60’s or 70’s (LSD inspired or otherwise). A song is more than the sum of its parts, and I’m the last guy that would advocate there are song writing rules to follow (e.g., that lyrics have to make sense to have a compelling song). A little mystery goes a long way as well.

So my comment here is, like any, subjective for Polly to consider and use or lose, as some say. It’s a pretty song that stands well as is. So trust your instincts as an artist, Polly, and go with it.

I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve heard from you so far, and looking forward to hearing more.

Kind regards,

Deej

Deej56 #1166002 06/29/20 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Deej56
Polly and Steve,

You’re right, of course. And Lord knows I have my share of songs I love—for the sound, for the vibe—that to this day I have no idea what the song’s about. And sometimes the song is the better for it. And it’s not just the 60’s or 70’s (LSD inspired or otherwise). A song is more than the sum of its parts, and I’m the last guy that would advocate there are song writing rules to follow (e.g., that lyrics have to make sense to have a compelling song). A little mystery goes a long way as well.

So my comment here is, like any, subjective for Polly to consider and use or lose, as some say. It’s a pretty song that stands well as is. So trust your instincts as an artist, Polly, and go with it.

I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve heard from you so far, and looking forward to hearing more.

Kind regards,

Deej


Thank you Deej, and everyone who listened and commented!

I do have songs with clear messages that make sense, and others that don't. It's like, if you think about visual art -- sometimes you paint a picture of a dog or a tree, and everybody can recognize it. But other times you make a collage of different images that somehow fit together but you can't say why.

I also think of it in terms of movies -- it is common for a movie to jump around in time, and the poor audience is expected to somehow follow. I sometimes do that with my songs.

Then, of course, there are dreams, and we all know how confusing they are. The songwriting state of mind can be a sort of dream state.

In general, I always tell people that I am not a journalist or an essayist -- I am a fiction writer. When I realized that it set me free from reality.

And who needs reality, especially these days!

Thanks again!

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Originally Posted by Steve Altonian
Originally Posted by Songbird52
Originally Posted by Deej56
Polly,

Another nice tune from you. You already have some good feedback for things to consider. I’m in the camp where the message is a little lost here. Each verse stands well on its own—each a nice write—but difficult to see the connection between them. It’s a pretty tune, well sung and performed (terrific playing, actually) I think it’s worth tinkering some with the write—it would really make this song pop.

Best regards,

Deej


But sometimes I like to be confusing. Remember the 1960s when we were so confused by some of those songs?



I know huh? I grew up on this stuff...All my first songs only made sense to me, & that was just how we rolled...

Then you get to a FORUM & they tell you that your lyrics have to make sense...

Like really? What songs did you grow up on? All the best songs of the 60's & 70's taught a slew of writers that our lyrics didn't really have to make sense.....

But....When you don't have LSD & "Shrooms", the game changes...


I think there are different ways of making sense. Sometimes I don't know what I'm trying to say while I'm writing it. Sometimes we are just playing with emotional colors.

IronKnee #1166004 06/29/20 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by IronKnee
Hi Polly..............Good stuff.
I like it. Neat picking!


Nice to see you here IronKnee!

Songbird52 #1166009 06/29/20 10:44 AM
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Polly,
I spend a lot of time working on my right hand picking patterns but I could never do what you do. That sounds so complicated.
I like the vibe. Sad and getting sadder. Works for me. I really like the sound you get with the open tuning.
I really thought this was an AAA style song. I was surprised to read that there are two parts. They sound very similar and it is hard to tell them apart. It might be interesting if you change up the parts a bit. For instance changing the beginning cord of the second part from the G to a C or a minor. It would make the change more recognizable to the listener. And give some movement to the melody.
Not that there is anything wrong with a AAA song. Dylan made a living writing them.
Tom

Songbird52 #1166012 06/29/20 11:13 AM
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Thank you Tom!

The A and B actually sound different to me. Maybe you are hearing the A and B sections together, which would make sense.

And this song has no chorus, because the instrumental is supposed to do what a chorus would do normally.

Glad you like the picking! Open G tuning is so much easier! I started out playing folk and classical guitar, of course in standard tuning. It never felt quite right to me. Then I learned bluegrass banjo, which is usually played in open G. Eventually I could easily find my way around and could locate chords and notes better than I ever could on the guitar.

I went back to playing guitar because I like it better for singing and songwriting. But I decided to stay with open G tuning.

I like mandolin/fiddle tuning because it's symmetrical, in 5ths. Standard guitar tuning is in 4ths, EXCEPT for the B string! Well I don't like exceptions! I understand why that exception is needed, but it always bothered me, all those years I played guitar before learning banjo.




Last edited by Songbird52; 06/29/20 11:14 AM.

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