Who's Online Now
15 registered members (CWMusic, Dave Rice, CTthomas, Jethro Aberdeen, couchgrouch, E Swartz, Fdemetrio, Gavin Sinclair, 2 invisible), and 320 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Posts: 8,484
Joined: January 2006
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
"I Saw Jesus Today" Country
by Jethro Aberdeen. 08/08/20 01:39 AM
Hey Moonlight - Lyrics Mike Blottenberger
by Dave Rice. 08/07/20 11:01 PM
This is for collaboration
by John Lawrence Schick. 08/07/20 10:32 PM
Edit: ALL Corona Virus Post MUST Go Here
by Sunset Poet. 08/07/20 09:18 PM
I Paint the Town
by E Swartz. 08/07/20 08:50 PM
A heart in Love never lies
by ckiphen. 08/07/20 09:28 AM
Conversations In A Minor Key
by Gerry. 08/07/20 06:09 AM
Best Moment Of My Life Original Song
by CWMusic. 08/07/20 05:02 AM
VIDEO is done...ĒSpread Your Wings & FlyĒ
by Steve Altonian. 08/06/20 09:37 PM
I Been There
by Songbird52. 08/06/20 09:16 PM
Peace of Mind
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:13 PM
A Day In The Life
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:12 PM
Hard World Waiting
by Deej56. 08/06/20 09:11 PM
Sea of tranquility
by ckiphen. 08/06/20 02:53 PM
Wisdom's Wildfires
by Perry Neal Crawford. 08/06/20 01:04 PM
60 Happy Years
by Dave Rice. 08/06/20 09:34 AM
Your Guitar (Now with alternate bridge)
by John W. Selleck. 08/05/20 01:35 PM
Children of the same God
by ckiphen. 08/05/20 01:25 PM
Encore in the house of the Lord
by ckiphen. 08/05/20 01:06 PM
You Touched Me
by John W. Selleck. 08/04/20 10:11 PM
ChrisWMusic
by Gavin Sinclair. 08/04/20 05:50 PM
Tell Me
by Travis david. 08/04/20 04:01 PM
Michelangelo/ re- write
by ckiphen. 08/04/20 03:38 PM
Don't Send My Ashes to My Exes /NEWER BRIDGE
by John W. Selleck. 08/04/20 01:51 PM
Natural Melodies?
by Fdemetrio. 08/04/20 09:27 AM
Piano (instrumental)
by Nigel Quin. 08/04/20 09:23 AM
::: FUNNY GROOVY SUMMERTIME :::
by Nigel Quin. 08/04/20 09:14 AM
BREATHING, GROWING
by Travis david. 08/04/20 08:06 AM
Runaway Train
by Marvin Adcock. 08/04/20 06:19 AM
The Knee
by John W. Selleck. 08/03/20 09:47 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,834
Travis david 11,921
Kevin Emmrich 10,666
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,909
couchgrouch 7,798
Dave Rice 7,764
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,618
Mark Kaufman 6,584
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
niteshift 5,683
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,376
Roy Cooper 4,241
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,104
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,926
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,815
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,580
E Swartz 3,518
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,846
MidniteBob 2,712
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Fdemetrio 2,475
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Sunset Poet 2,049
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,988
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
Tom Franz 1,473
RogerS 1,471
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Deej56 1,319
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Gerry 1,221
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
lane1777 1,184
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
IronKnee 1,009
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
90 dB 943
9ne 931
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
ant 747
Andy K 746
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Irwin 672
Katziis 652
Pat Hardy 641
Moosesong 640
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 563
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
R&M 527
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
ckiphen 437
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#1165653 - 06/20/20 10:39 PM A Daydream Night  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
One of the few decent recordings I got on my old gear, just wondering, is this catchy? Does it hook you musically, atmospherically, lyrically, vocally?, Does it create a mood? Asking for a friend

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13712118

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/20/20 10:39 PM.
#1165657 - 06/20/20 11:43 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
N.E. of Toronto
"Cars" vibe, cool! Ok so there's a lot to like here. Singing is so well done! I'd like to hear the verse that starts at 1:19 repeated. Like the rhythm guitar pattern till the vocal starts then it should change. (too repetitive throughout) Lyric is difficult to follow.(The Gina bit is out of nowhere) Some very nice work here, best of luck!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1165659 - 06/20/20 11:53 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks, its just a hooky track.

Try rewriting the lyrics, it wont be easy. melody is only made for a few words. Gina is who he was talking to all along

It's just a commercial track, the music was used without any vocals on a financial advisor podcast. He liked the music and I didn't charge him a royalty...a good 30 people heard it....

#1165660 - 06/21/20 12:07 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
N.E. of Toronto
Still, I think it IS worth a look, just to bring the song to it's potential...


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1165661 - 06/21/20 12:16 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
I'm in the process of going through old stuff and new stuff I got some new recording stuff too. I'm gonna be banging out alot of new stuff.

But just to show you what I mean, I offer you a chance to rewrite the lyric, using the same melody, if I think it works and sounds better than this i will rerecord it using your lyrics.

There's not many choices....


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/21/20 12:17 AM.
#1165663 - 06/21/20 12:37 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
N.E. of Toronto
Well, I'm constantly working on my own stuff so why I want to take on yours... but PM your lyric so I can match the phrasing, I'll do a verse or whatever see if it suits: MUSIC!
-Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1165664 - 06/21/20 01:32 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Cause it sounded like you had a better idea of how to fix it. I wanted to hear your ideas.

There aren't many lyrics that would work in this context, almost none, I tried a few alternatives but it's based on the sound of the words not the story. On this one.

Haven't heard your stuff, where do you work on them?


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/21/20 01:38 AM.
#1165665 - 06/21/20 07:09 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,618
Vicarn Offline
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,618
UK
Keep going with it.
Sounds good to me.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1165669 - 06/21/20 09:45 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanx Vic, I'd use a smiley face but why be predictable!

#1165674 - 06/21/20 10:28 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,618
Vicarn Offline
Top 40 Poster
Vicarn  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,618
UK
We all have them, like it or not, sitting next to our name.
I got used to mine now.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#1165676 - 06/21/20 11:03 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 230
the_lyricwriter Offline
Serious Contributor
the_lyricwriter  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 230
Charleston WV USA
Hello

I love the production of this the melody is killer in all that I have learned in song writing it is so important to build to the tittle the lyric is weak the the production and performance is Great the verse and pre chorus did not lead me to that killer hook I hope this helps

#1165726 - 06/22/20 12:53 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Two Singers Offline
Two Singers  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Northern Alabama
Hello ...

I may not be the right listener to answer most of your questions. But I'll give you my thoughts in general.

The vocal is very strong and the b/g tracks fill nicely. I like the change of the left channel guitar on the chorus as it breaks up a sound that could, otherwise, become monotonous. In my ears, the change was enough to dilute that concern.

I tend to view/listen to songs from the big picture POV, rather than picking at details ... unless the details are distracting. I try to take off my musician/songwriter hat and listen as the average person might. I want to hear a good story (on vocals) and backing tracks that support the story ... in other words, decent prosody. Does it catch my attention and keep it throughout? Does it want me to listen again? To me, those are the more important things. A lot more general-public listeners buy music than songwriters do. So, that's who I try to write/perform for..

I hope that helps, at least a little bit. As I said, I'm not a nit-picker type of listener. I just want to be entertained. And, for me, you punched all those buttons. I enjoyed it!

Best to you. Be safe ...

Alan

#1165740 - 06/22/20 09:41 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks singer x2,

They are rhetorical.questions, they were stringed to a different thread so I guess the inside story or back story was omiited here

This is not one id consider a strong "song" but an enjoyable track to listen to.

On a song like this you don't get many words to work with, like I told the other guy, if anyone wanted to try new lyrics to my melody, they would have a hard time.

Sometimes it's the sound of the words, using whole vowel rhymes, phrases that are meant to be sung and not resd.

It's pop. I think radio friendly

And I agree, different songs require different critiques, and are meant for different audiences and have different purposes.

Poncho and Lefty it is not....

But I had a decent sounding track to share,....


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/22/20 09:44 AM.
#1165766 - 06/22/20 08:09 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
GocartMoz Offline
Top 200 Poster
GocartMoz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,552
Florida
Way to get a "Born To Run" and "Thunder Road" reference in there. I really liked this alot. The singing and melody are super. Very catchy tune. I do love the signature guitar riff in the song, but I agree it may be a bit overdone. I also think it needs more effect to sit in the mix better. Maybe a bit lower on that riff with more reverb or echo. While the mix seems wet with reverb, that signature guitar seems a bit dry. For me, best of the tunes you have posted and not because it is a better quality recording. I think it is the best of the songs you have posted. It did strike me as giving off a bit of an 80's feel ... not The Cars, but maybe more pop oriented 80's groups. I can't think of the band I am thinking of. If it comes to me, I will mention it. Well done.

Dave

#1165986 - 06/28/20 03:27 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks GM, didn't see your reply sitting there. Yeah, I think the riff was supposed to be more of a accompaniment than the main riff, since I did this I have ideas for a few different variations.

Was the band The Police? Every breath you take riff is similar.

I'm glad you like this, not sure this will make my album, whenever I get it done, but it's not a bad track.

Thanks for the ears and encouragement

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 06/28/20 03:29 PM.
#1165996 - 06/29/20 01:42 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,009
IronKnee Offline
Top 500 Poster
IronKnee  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,009
Hawaii
I like this, as well as the others. Love the melody and singing. The lyrics feel good to me.
If anything, the production....the mix.... could be more professional. Everything always gets better with more spit and shine.
Good luck with this........lots and lots to like here!!
-Tom

#1166010 - 06/29/20 10:52 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,473
Tom Franz Offline
Top 200 Poster
Tom Franz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,473
Northern California
Fremetrio,
Yes to all questions. Totally hooked me in. I liked everything about it. I also get 9ne's "Cars" comparison (Drive).
You are good and have a really good voice too. I'm jealous.
Tom

#1166095 - 07/01/20 11:10 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Iron knee and Tom thanks, always nice to have good songwriters on the same page. Tom, your song you posted, nothing to be jealous over dude, sounds great!

#1166160 - 07/03/20 06:37 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,049
Sunset Poet Online content
Top 200 Poster
Sunset Poet  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,049
Houston, Texas
Somehow I missed this post until now Fd. Sorry.

I liked the song. The intro and basic feel and guitar rhythm sounded Pretenders to me.
But then you shifted the melodic feel a couple of times, which I really enjoyed.

Nice tune.

Martin

#1166167 - 07/03/20 09:39 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks Marty, yes absolutely hear what your saying about pretenders, I'm actually a fan so many great songs but didn't realize it in this until you mention it...sounds similar to" "don't get me wromg" there's is better, but I love her and her voice, time to break out some of their stuff.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P6u9C_SH3mQ

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/03/20 09:40 PM.
#1166175 - 07/03/20 11:35 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,319
Deej56 Offline
Top 200 Poster
Deej56  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,319
Fdemetrio,

NIce groove on this right out of the gateóvery engaging intro. Itís a very solid vocal as wellókinda 90ís alternative sound . . . Third Eye Blind comes to mind, but thatís not quite it. Best thing Iíve heard from you, no question. Iím not sure Iím following all the lyrics without seeing them . . . but it doesnít matter, and itís just another example of the fact that itís never just about the lyrics, but about the sound of the song as a whole. And everything comes together on this one . . . really well. Very nicely done!

Best regards,

Deej

#1166198 - 07/04/20 10:51 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Wow the boards must be coming back, this got buried fast since last night.

Thanks Dee, soon I'll be posting stuff where I'm not worried about the sound. And can post more frequently. I got some new recording stuff and will probably work with live musicians in fiverr.


Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/04/20 10:52 AM.
#1166246 - 07/05/20 03:47 AM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Fd
The longish intro works well and welcomed you to stick around for a pleasant journey,which it turned out to be.
The vocal was good and in a nutshell a really decent sound
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1166336 - 07/07/20 06:01 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks Travis decent is what I strive for

#1166356 - 07/07/20 09:58 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,518
E Swartz Online content
Top 100 Poster
E Swartz  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,518
Ohio
FD,

I really liked it a lot. I love the contrasting music movement with the longer drawn out vocal phrasing--great timing needed to make that work. The melody grabs you for sure, but I like the lyrics too--feels passionate. I think this song would work in almost any music era--has a unique element--nice work and performance!

steady-eddie

#1166389 - 07/08/20 04:24 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks Eddie. Yeah it was a groove that I came in on top of after the track was done, I found the pocket to sing in, little bit of a timing challenge but it came out good.

Thanks for encouraging words.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/08/20 04:25 PM.
#1166391 - 07/08/20 04:38 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 703
Steve Altonian Online content
Top 500 Poster
Steve Altonian  Online Content
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 703
Los Angeles, California
The HIGH & LOW is very catchy...

Now itís stuck in my head


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com
#1166396 - 07/08/20 05:57 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,009
John W. Selleck Online content
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,009
NJ
Hi FD,
It all works well together for me, nice smooth soft rock, good ambience. A little JD, a nice woman, and this...


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
#1166411 - 07/08/20 09:42 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Thanks Steve and John. I like it enough to put more work into it, and with these positive reviews means I probably will.

#1166611 - 07/14/20 02:00 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 9
Craig Allen Offline
Casual Observer
Craig Allen  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 9
North Carolina
I like the steady vibe of the guitar(s). Well done here. Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" has that continuous undertone, but more so Phil Collins' "Take Me Home." Good stuff. But don't you think some of the lyrics beg for a story? You write about "two can play this game" and "we'll put on a show." Seems the theme is a night with a lady, a daydream night, where everything's right, and it's not really about a movie. Also, I think there must be a better phrase than the dress is "out of sight." Sorry I'm commenting so late and I know your song has been up for a while. I just joined. thx

#1166613 - 07/14/20 02:14 PM Re: A Daydream Night [Re: Fdemetrio]  
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Fdemetrio Online content
Top 200 Poster
Fdemetrio  Online Content
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 2,475
Now that you mention it, it is a coincidence you landed on my song out of all the others.

No, I don't think it calls for a story, cause it's not a story song.

It's about one person telling another how he deals with the struggles of the day, how a daydream, can be used to spark a nice evening, and that they should try doing it.

It's been a hard days night,
and I've been work in like a dog
It's been a hard days night,
I should be sleeping like a log

Where's the story in that?

I didn't post the song as a lyric where all eyes are on the lyric, but I posted a mp3 of a track, lyrics were written to fill the track.

It's not one of my better songs anyway, but not cause of lyrics




Last edited by Fdemetrio; 07/14/20 02:40 PM.

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
CWMusic, CBAY, mrpeepshow, Craig Allen, Styillz
21285 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics120,609
Posts1,134,998
Members21,285
Average Posts Daily35
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"The music industry is filled with risk takers, but not so filled with people who educate themselves before taking the leap." ‚ÄďBrian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Lazy jane (38), Rod Blum (53), steven tuttle (2020)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0