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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 52
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 52 |
This one is a fairly straightforward rock tune .... would be interested in feedback on the mix etc. Updated version, incorporating feedback and suggestions and now called "Know What You Need" https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32048006-know-what-you-needOriginal : https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32038651-hang-on-to-yourselfHang on to Yourself As the silence looms I feel you drift away from me I can see it coming I can feel the change I can see it coming Coming like a train Chorus I have always tried to love But you know what you have to do To hang on to yourself I have always known It would be this way in the end I could see the future Written in the past I can see the future Nothing ever lasts Chorus You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need As the silence looms You've nothing left to say to me There's no point in trying To remain the same There's no point in trying It won't ease the pain Chorus You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need You know what you need
Last edited by kevinism; 08/14/20 04:34 AM.
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
As you say, a straightforward rock tune, and a good one. Not sure that the repeats of "You know what you need" add anything. If you keep them, maybe you could cut them down to 4 repetitions instead of 8? Just a thought.
I thought the mix and overall production was pretty much spot on. The vocals and the guitar really stand out in the mix, as they should. I'm anything but an expert, so maybe others will have some tips. To me, it sounded great.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1 |
Hey Kevin, Nice 80's tune...
I would call it "Hang On"
And change the structure a little..Gavin is right only 4 repetitions with maybe a twist. I'm just giving you a basic structure and idea of how I hear it. I threw some dummy lyrics in what I think is an 80's CHORUS. But they kinda work in what you are trying to say
I kinda feel what you have labeled as a CHORUS should actually function as a PRE-CHORUS
As the silence looms I feel you drift away from me I can see it coming I can feel the change I can see it coming Coming like a train
PRE-CHORUS
I have always tried to love you You know what you have to do to hang on to yourself
CHORUS
You know what you need Hang on close to me You know what you need Hang on here you'll see
Repeat your song to 2nd verse and end with this kind of structure
That's my quickie 2 cents....
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Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 52
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 52 |
Steve, great idea! Leave it with me for a couple of days and I will post an updated version. Many thanks, much appreciated! Kevin
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1 |
I got a feeling when all is said & done you will be torn on the TITLE of the tune. Most people will not call it "hang on". Once they hear the HOOK, the will say hey man play
"You Know What You Need"
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,118 Likes: 15
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,118 Likes: 15 |
Good driving beat. Can't help getting caught up in the rhythm. Straight forward rocker. Kudos!
Ckiphen
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 237 Likes: 11
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 237 Likes: 11 |
My suggestion on the structure: Verse1, chorus, verse2, chorus, bridge, solo, verse3, chorus, chorus.
About the bridge and solo: You know what you need (repeated 4x) and add a solo.
I like the beat and the rhythm of your song.
_ _ _ Have fun!
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Kevin,
Nice sound, good driving rhythm to keep the listener engaged and head rocking; nice lead vocal. An 80s-ish sound to this—some elements that remind me of Split Enz. I think you’ve gotten some good suggestions below to consider—and I don’t have a whole lot to add—but sounding pretty good as is. Good work!
All my best,
Deej
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