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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Collab with a fellow Canadian who goes by the moniker HappyDays.and wrote the lyrics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS3Nj61Cm9UDawn in London TimeSimple days were long ago When you and I were holding close That’s before I had to let you go Your fate was in another zone Changing zip codes, different homes And now, it's come to this: I’m alone So Alone And it’s dawn in London time I wish you knew the way I’m feeling While I'm crying in your night You’re wide awake in my evening It’s dawn in London time For weeks now next to nothing comes A text, a call, they're only crumbs I wonder if the flight has left you numb? I thought that I could handle it We deserve much more than this Will I be strong enough without your kiss? I miss your kiss ‘cause it’s dawn in London time I wish you knew the way I’m feeling While I'm crying in your night You’re wide awake in my evening It’s dawn in London time ... It’s dawn in London time I wish you knew the way I’m feeling While I'm crying in your night You’re wide awake in my evening It’s dawn in London time
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28 |
Real nice Paul....love the way the chorus breaks out and the way you colour its ending
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Enjoyed my listen, Paul:
Nice melody, effective lyric and great performance. Best of luck with it.
----Dave
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26
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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,143 Likes: 26 |
Great! I have nothing to add to that
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891 Likes: 6
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 2,891 Likes: 6 |
Hi Paul Really nice poignant song, very enjoyable. Nigel PS. Good to see you got Big Ben's clock working again
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Good job, Paul. Now you have to write the whole musical. :-)
Vic
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Paul,
An exceptional melody, especially the hook. Great potential here--(Billy Joel-esk).
steady-eddie
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
John, Dave, Gavin, Nigel, Vic and Eddie - thanks for the kind words of encouragement. and Nigel - yeah it was tough climbing up inside that clock and fixing its gears cheers guys Paul
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
Paul
I like the production very much!
I kept thinking DAWN IN LONDON TOWN
Maclie
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Thanks Mackie - very kind of you.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1 |
Hey Paul,
I like the melody. Couple of thoughts...
1. In a break-up crumbs is a close word used, but "bread-crumbs" is the full phrase. Getting "Bread-crumbs" really sucks. I would try to use the full word Bread-Crumbs since it is a break up song..
2. Why no other mention of anything "London" for imagery? Especially in your CHORUS....Since you guys mentioned Big Ben (even though silent while under renovation) , how 'bout something like this...
And it’s dawn in London time Big Bens chimes are softly singing While I'm crying in your night You’re wide awake in my evening It’s dawn in London time
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Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 211 Likes: 2 |
Hey Paul,
I like the melody. Couple of thoughts...
1. In a break-up crumbs is a close word used, but "bread-crumbs" is the full phrase. Getting "Bread-crumbs" really sucks. I would try to use the full word Bread-Crumbs since it is a break up song..
2. Why no other mention of anything "London" for imagery? Especially in your CHORUS....Since you guys mentioned Big Ben (even though silent while under renovation) , how 'bout something like this...
And it’s dawn in London time Big Bens chimes are softly singing While I'm crying in your night You’re wide awake in my evening It’s dawn in London time
Thanks Steve - I'll pass on those comments to Rocky who wrote the lyrics. Glad you liked the melody Paul
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