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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: May 2020
Posts: 123
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 123 |
https://www.reverbnation.com/pollychase/song/32106708-sorry-babeI don't know anymore, he said, don't know why I'm here, don't know what I'm headin for, all I'm feelin now is fear. He said I lost something, that I always had before, I feel like I'm not really of this world anymore. -- I'm sorry babe, I said I wish I could find the magic spell to save you from that state of mind. But I'm sorry I-I know I'm not any help at all, don't know the secret words that could break your fall. -- Tryin' to act like it's all cool, like there was nothin wrong, but the face of death is starin in the window all night long. We had big plans, remember, plenty dreams to go around, an' when we had to let it go, so hard to land back on the ground. -- Sorry babe, I wish I wasn't so weak and so scared myself, wish I had a magic wand, an' I could be some kind of help. Oh the things we imagine, the things we read between the lines, things we coulda shoulda said, forever haunts the mind. -- first, second Sorry babe, how could I know your heart when I did not know mine. Only knew what I imagined, what I read between the lines. Oh maybe I'll forgive myself, 'cause you know, at the time, I only knew what I imagined, what I read between the lines.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,831
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Hi Polly:
Powerful lyric well performed. It leaves the listener to wonder about the storyline. Enjoyed my listen and if you ever do a re-take... would love more background instruments. All the best.... ----Dave
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Joined: May 2020
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Hi Polly:
Powerful lyric well performed. It leaves the listener to wonder about the storyline. Enjoyed my listen and if you ever do a re-take... would love more background instruments. All the best.... ----Dave Thanks Dave! Yes I would like to do multi-track recordings. I have been doing only one on ones recently. I guess I want it to sound the same as when I sing at open mics. But I would like to add mandolin to this.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
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Polly
Has a lot of nice thoughts throughout--Dave may be right--Need a Bob Dillon harp or fiddle well placed in the background!
Write on!
Mackie
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Joined: May 2020
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Polly
Has a lot of nice thoughts throughout--Dave may be right--Need a Bob Dillon harp or fiddle well placed in the background!
Write on!
Mackie Thanks Mackie! Yes harp or fiddle background would be nice.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400 |
This one works very well, always room for more sad songs. I would like it a hair slower, but that's just me.
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Joined: May 2020
Posts: 123
Serious Contributor
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This one works very well, always room for more sad songs. I would like it a hair slower, but that's just me. Thanks, I will try it a little slower.
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
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Polly,
Nicely done! Good 60’s folk type tune . . . I agree with John that it could be a bit slower. And then lyrically, I might look to cut down any unnecessary words in the lines. Sometimes you seem rushed to get them out smoothly. Slowing the song down a tad may do the trick by itself, but something to consider. Well done!
Best regards,
Deej
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Joined: May 2020
Posts: 123
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 123 |
Polly,
Nicely done! Good 60’s folk type tune . . . I agree with John that it could be a bit slower. And then lyrically, I might look to cut down any unnecessary words in the lines. Sometimes you seem rushed to get them out smoothly. Slowing the song down a tad may do the trick by itself, but something to consider. Well done!
Best regards,
Deej Thanks! I will try that. Come to think of it, there were some lines where it was hard to fit all the words. Slower could fix that.
Last edited by Songbird52; 09/19/20 01:53 PM.
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