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#148666 09/03/04 06:13 PM
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Hey - I was just wondering how many people here have spouses that support their music? I know some people that have their spouse at every gig and some that have spouses that never show up at all. What's it like at your house?

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/troublewithmonday.htm

#148668 09/03/04 11:28 PM
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mine is very cool! and gives me great song ideas. she's usually there . in spirit or in person. but i must say that she is also my 2nd wife! lol!!!

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www.barkinbarneyandthetallboys.com

#148669 09/03/04 11:34 PM
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My spouse is very supportive; however, it takes lots of convincing that the song I wrote ie: male bashing isn't about him or cheatin' songs.
He says I spend way too much time on the internet; but when push comes to shove he'll be there for me.
Michelle


Michelle
#148670 09/04/04 12:08 AM
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Hey - that's good to know. I have a very supportive husband. I'm blessed truly!
However, he doesn't come to every show. Somebody has to stay with our 3yo! So, he comes if the show is close enough to get a babysitter and be back within a reasonable amount of time!
However, I also have to be careful that I don't write too many heartache songs all at once - he tends to think they're all about him anyway...
Lee Anna


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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/troublewithmonday.htm

#148671 09/04/04 04:05 AM
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Lee Anna,

What a terrific topic!

I feel strongly that I probably couldn't do as much as I do musically and creatively if I didn't have such a loving, supportive husband. Not only does my husband support my music 100%, he helps me in numerous other ways - he designed my web site, helped me with my publicity materials, graphic design for my CD's, etc.

I am blessed to have this support...
It has made all the difference...

By the way, my husband is a professional writer ---and I totally support his creative side as well!
[Linked Image]

Emily

#148672 09/04/04 09:13 AM
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I could honestly say that without my wife, Ruth, I wouldn't still be trying to make it as a songwriter or performer. She sees more in me than I do myself and has inspired at least two of my best songs. She's always there and always positive, enthusiastic and encouraging.

I guess all of this is to do with the fact that it's second time around for both of us at an age when other couples have had time to grow into a routine and begin to take each other for granted.

#148673 09/04/04 07:34 PM
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My husband and I have been married almost 22 years...I embarked on my music career 6 years ago. He has not only supported me emotionally but monatarily as well. He has been there 100 percent all the way, so much so, that he is trying his hardest to help all my dreams become reality...he is my rock, my promoter,my technician, and he is also my drummer. I couldn't have done any of what I am doing without him.

Great topic..hats off the wonderful spouses who let us do what we need to!

#148674 09/04/04 07:53 PM
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My husband is very supportive. He doesn't always understand what I'm doing, but he is my number one fan. He's a singer, too, but he has other interests and music is not the all-consuming passion that it seems to be for me. We've been married 19 years, and it just keeps getting better. Songwriting is new for me, and he always seems amazed when I write another song--either he is amazed, or he is a good actor--that is a big dose of encouragment for me. He also gives the okay for any activity related to my music...dues, meetings on a weeknight, practice time...because he knows it's important to me. He's a great guy! If he was not supportive, I would have quit by now or I'd be doing it but be miserable and discouraged all the time. He's a blessing. --Jean

#148675 09/04/04 11:20 PM
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My wife sometimes helps me with lyrics and is not afraid to tell me when I suck.
Most of the time she just tries to ignore me.
I don't blame her because who wants to hear rambling and guitar playing for hours a day.
I think what she gets most sick of is how she can't listen to the radio in the car without my annoying critique and complete breakdown of the song. Plus I tend to drag on musical discussions for hours without me even realizing it.

Hey ! but I put the toilet seat down when I'm done.

It's the little things....

DAvid

#148676 09/04/04 11:50 PM
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My wife thinks I suckk all the time.
She wishes we had a room out of earshot where I could take my rubbish so she didn't have to hear it.
She has never been to see me, or any of my material performed, live.
She likes two of the instrumentals I have done.
Even when I am elated about getting a collab done by somebody who can in fact sing, or when I hit a new benchmark in ythe how many downloads I get in a month, her response is less than I would hope for, but nothing more than I have grown to expect over the 43 years we have been together.
Hell, The girl listens to either Skye or Joe Satrianni every Saturday when I have my end of the week visit the friends day.
What the hell does she know anyway?
I think her attatude actually spurs me on to make more noise more often, so it is a good thing I guess.
And she cooks too good to tell her to go away.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm

#148677 09/05/04 02:19 AM
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These are some really good replies! It's interesting how our relationships can affect our songwriting. One of my best songs was written after a big fight with my DH (dear husband). We're both artistically inclined (or bent) and can be moody about it. Letting off some steam in the relationship can be a good thing...

Lee Anna


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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/troublewithmonday.htm

#148678 09/05/04 02:51 AM
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If I could not write out some of my frustrations I would probably explode like the guy on Monty Python.

#148679 09/05/04 02:19 PM
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My wife is behind me 100%. As a matter of fact, since I do mostly solo stuff, she's helping out.
She takes care of my merch at shows, and helps roadie.

Ken

------------------
New CD "Penny for My Thoughts now available at
www.kenfranz.com,CD Street, MyTexasMusic.com, and CD Baby


CD's "Penny for My Thoughts" and "Take Me Back to Texas" now available at
http://www.kenfranz.com, MyTexasMusic.com, and CD Baby
#148680 09/05/04 07:21 PM
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I have been so lucky...

My first wife was a dancer and grew up around show people...
Of all the differences we had, all the ones that led to our break-up, she was unflagging in her support for me and my music career.

She and our daughter were indeed my biggest fans..

My second wife, Mary has no music in her background at all..
She is, however, a person with a consuming love and need of music.

She has supplanted my first wife in the role of biggest fan which she shares with my daughter.

I'm a lucky guy !

Bob

#148681 09/06/04 09:19 PM
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Yes you are Cobber, and I know I don't have to tell you never to forget it.

Sob and sigh.
Wiping a tear from my eye.
I say to myself.
That Bob's, one lucky guy.
To have both wives, and his daughter.
So supportive, like family.
Oughta be.
Yeah.
That Bob Young's a lucky guy.
Or so it seems to.
Me.
Ba de do da dogh dogh.
Bar de do da deeeee.
Yes.
That's .
How it seems.
To me.
Graham




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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm

#148682 09/07/04 06:59 AM
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My wife is my inspiration, all she asks is I restring her every two weeks.
My other wife, got very jealous when I brought my true love home. When she found out I paid 2000.00 for my new love, she really got pissed.

Seriously though, my wife supports me.

#148683 09/07/04 05:23 PM
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My wife has been very supportive of me in music. In fact she is at almost every rehearsal, has only missed one show in ten years. (I guess that is all to be expected as she is the lead vocalist in our band [Linked Image])

Peace

Mikel
www.arminta.net

#148684 09/08/04 02:23 PM
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My first marriage split after two years because my wife didn't want me to be a musician. We met at one of my gigs.

For the past twenty three years I've been married to a wonderful woman. She had a desire to be a teacher but was discouraged in this by her family. Early in our relationship she quit a job for a stock broker and was depressed about her career future.

I asked her what she really wanted to do. "...be a teacher..." was her reply. I encouraged her to follow her dream and she did. My wife is now a Doctor of Education, she teaches at Tennessee State University where she has been President of the Faculty Senate and Acting Department Chair. She teaches classes at Fort Campbell for Embry Riddle Aeronautical University, has developed several online courses, and lectures around the country.

I support my wife.

Want support? Give support.

All the Best,
Mike



------------------
Mike Dunbar Music


You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way. -Johnny Cash

It's only music.
-niteshift

Mike Dunbar Music

#148685 09/08/04 02:32 PM
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I love my wife very much and she loves me. But when it comes to writing and performing my songs. Anything that's centered around country music she flat out hates. Nuff said.

Paul

#148686 09/08/04 03:32 PM
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My Husband is my Band and Co-writer and I could not have done as well as I have done without him. [Linked Image]


DJ
http://jessurun.dmusic.com/

#148687 09/08/04 09:19 PM
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I was married. He supported my music for as long as it supported him. Soon as I took time off the road to write, the support ended.

so now Im happily divorced.


http://www.nashvilledemostudio.com
Let's work on your songs together!
#148688 09/09/04 05:08 AM
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Hello Folks.,.

My wife has been the only mainstay of my music career since I met her 16 yrs ago. She supports me every step of the way. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today which is: with her, our 3 beautiful children, and a music career that continues to grow and flourish.

Best to all!

russ
www.russbonagura.com

#148689 09/09/04 08:34 PM
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My husband is my drummer...I not only get support it's syncipated!
Peace and Pride,
chris VonTanner


'Some people are gay...get over it!'
#148690 09/09/04 09:17 PM
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Mike,

Great story. If every couple did the same there'd be very few unhappy relationships. I've never understood why anyone in any relationship would ever NOT want their partner to pursue what they wanted. The concept of telling them not to is baffling to me. Nothing is more invigorating than being surrounded by other people who are pursuing their passion and dream. It's intoxicating and contagious.

Thanks for your usual show of wisdom,

Brian


Brian Austin Whitney
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"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

"It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney

"Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
#148691 09/10/04 07:31 AM
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Yep. I agree. Thank goodness for other people.
With a wife like mine a bloke really needs them I tell ya.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm

#148692 09/10/04 05:13 PM
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Mike,

That last statement was profound. Makes me think what I can do differently...

What a timely subject (for me anyway). I was just talking about this with a writer friend and a publisher he has a single song deal with last night at a round and it has been weighing on my mind heavily today.

I would classify my wife as being supportive. After all, she did agree to move down to Nashville. She was pregnant and we both quit our jobs without any lined up down here and just did it (we had planned it for a while though & had cash saved to live on). Everything worked out great. The company she left in Illinois allowed her to work from home, we had a beautiful little baby girl, I found a job within a few months etc. She also believes in me. She thinks I have the talent to do what I want to do. I do think she truly wishes that I could do it for a living as well.

One thing, I don't think she realizes is how much time pursuing this songwriting dream takes. Writing time, co-writing appointements, writers' rounds & other networking. Right now, I don't feel like I am doing enough on the songwriting end to promote my dream. Typically I have one writing session a week (Friday evening) and play out twice a month and attend the occasional seminar or other networking function. However, it seems she is pushed to the limit with what I am already doing, let alone what I think I need to be doing (at least one 3 hour solo writing session a week, one 3 hour co-writing session a week, one songwriters' round a week, guitar lessons, voice lessons, working on demos, attending functions...).

It would be so easy to be gone every night doing something. Yet, I don't want that either. I cherish the time I get to spend with my wife & 4 year old daughter. I cherish taking my daughter to her "Jump, Jazz & Roll" class on Tuesday night, watching Animal Planet with her, playing Old Maid & Crazy 8's. I even cherish giving her her bath and putting her to bed every night (which I do, unless have a round or something).

I guess for now, I will continue to walk that balance beam as best I can and move forward one small step at a time, but lordy I never thought I'd see a balance beam that extended beyond the horizon!!! [Linked Image].

My wife hasn't gotten out to see me perform yet, although I've tried to arrange it. I think I will be getting her out to see me on Oct. 4 (my sister will be in town and wants to see me, so it's a good excuse to get her out). I hope that will help her see and get into what I am doing a little more. On the other hand, I think I need to spend a little more time doing things my wife would enjoy like going to a comedy club or something. We have both been so busy with work, our daughter and other day to day goings on that we really haven't been able to "get away" too much. I think it's time to spring for a baby sitter & head on down to Zanies!!! I just can't drag her out to songwriters' nights all the time you know [Linked Image] [Linked Image]

Great topic!!

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John

http://www.johnkscott.com

#148693 09/10/04 06:35 PM
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I'm lucky to have a very supportive husband! When I met him I "wooed" him with a demo tape so he's known all along what he was getting himself into.

We are both creative types and have both at times needed a hiatus from the 9 to 5 world so the times I've taken off to promote my CD or to attempt publishing deals, he brought home the bacon. Similarly when he did free-lance work from home, I held down the steady job.

He is often in the audience but not always, which I am completely cool with. We play anywhere from 1-5 times a month so I would not expect him to be on hand for everything. Especially when travel is involved.


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Marian Mastrorilli
mastrose@aol.com
http://www.projectmercury.net


Marian Mastrorilli
mastrose@aol.com
http://www.projectmercury.net
#148694 09/10/04 06:40 PM
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P.S.
What's neat too is that I've inspired him towards songwriting and he's very good! He's now teaching himself bass guitar so who knows, maybe he'll play out with us down the road.



[This message has been edited by mastrose (edited 09-10-2004).]


Marian Mastrorilli
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http://www.projectmercury.net
#148695 09/10/04 11:24 PM
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Now that simply is not fair Marion.
Anybody woos as good as you should have said wooing declaired a lethal weapon.
Poor guy never stood a chance.
Jokes aside. That is the cream of the repies on this subject for me Guys.
Not only has Marion's man embraced her art as a peice of her, and supported her in it, he does it eight to the bar sometimes I bet.
While lesser men may thumb their noses at their spouse's passion for an art, this one is learning how to make his thumb go ba thunk slap chink. ching ching slap bend.
Graham (Faded Leather Forever) H

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#148696 09/10/04 11:39 PM
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My wife and son are behind me 100% .But she also tells me when my songs are weak and they need a tweak! hah It couldnt be any better they give me all the free time i need ,but ya know when ya have or take the time to work on the music, i get to missing them and usually come down out of my writers shack and spend some time with them .S.D.

#148697 09/11/04 05:58 AM
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I think you would be getting a little less than the 100 percent from them if they did otherwise SD.
Honesty. There is no greater support vehicle.
Or a better way to both express and reward love.
Graham

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#148698 09/14/04 05:55 AM
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Graham,

You are not alone.

My wife could give or take music. she never turns on the radio in the car. I've taken her to a few gigs over our 25 years together, and I see that she's bored, and isn't into smoking and drinking and dancing and bar behavior and such..

My daughter tells me outright that I suck... so what? I'm with you, it just makes me more determined.

They both tell me to 'turn it down' twice as much as my parents did. I have to get them out of the house to practice- and when I have a band practice or recording session at the house- they dissappear into their bedrooms or leave. My daughter gives me some grudging admiration due to the fact that some of the folks helping me out are folks she figures are 'awesome'....

Don't get me wrong, I love 'em both- and vice versa. They don't surf either, or want to go fishing....so what?

Mike

#148699 09/14/04 01:29 PM
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Hi Lee Anna,
Wow, what a great topic! I think I fall in the middle probably.
My husband is very supportive, in his own way. He believes I am very talented and he is very proud of me, he supports me financially to of course.
However, when it comes to me possbily collaborating or going to seminars, etc., he is kind of...I don't know how to explain it...I guess apprehensive would be a good word for it....he is nervous about me meeting others, he doesn't trust people he doesn't know and he worries about me, he's very protective. There have been times that I've set up a collaboration meeting (and he was supposed to go with me on the first meeting at least, especially if the other person was male, that's our agreement)..anyway..there would always be an excuse not to drive me there, usually that he was tired and the place to meet was usually about an hour away, and its usually a week night...well, I don't know what to say to that, I mean the guy works his tail off all day at work to support us(we have kids too), and he does have to get up early and if he is too sleepy on the job it could literally cost his life or someone elses sometimes. So, I get really disappointed, but I can't exactly MAKE him take me (and I don't noramlly drive to things like that by myself).....so...to this day I have not collaborated with anyone face to face..only over the net (email, instant messaging) or by faxing back and forth, ect. The same thing happens if I want to go to a seminar....there is always an excuse to not take me there, and he knows I won't go by myself. So, it's partially my fault, for not just going on my own. The only other thing that kind of bothers me is that he sometimes doesn't understand the concept of how much time it takes to research things and how much is actually involved in writing songs, and he doesn't seem to understand how much I really have to do and what I SHOULD be doing that I am not doing yet.
He is proud of what I have done, but sometimes I get the feeling that maybe he is scared about me going further with it. Lord only knows why. So, that's why I say I'm kind of in the middle, he is supportive, in some ways, but he is passively unsupportive in other ways. I'm wondering if I should stop allowing that, because honestly, I havn't done too much to confront him about it or talk to him about the fact that it bothers me. Maybe I'm letting him hold me back a bit? I wonder why that is? Why would I do that when I want to get a song cut so badly? Anyone have any insight into this? Hmmm...I think I've had a small epitome...except I don't know the meaning behind it..lol. Anyway, that's what it's like at my house. Is there a counselor on the boards today? LOL. Such a great topic!
take care,
~Sammi

#148700 09/14/04 01:58 PM
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Sammi,

That just sounds normal for your man to be protective.
If you were a Real Estate Agent he would probably feel the same way if you were holding a open house.

DAvid

#148701 09/14/04 09:50 PM
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Hmmm...I think I've had a small epitome...except I don't know the meaning behind it..lol.

Hi Sammi - I think you might have had an epiphany! LOL

I know what you mean - there are nights that my DH (dear husband) is pretty tired and doesn't want to necessarily watch the kids for me to go and play music... or write.. or whatever...
Of course if anyone acted happy 100% of the time I would wonder what was wrong with them! So, support is support, right?
I suppose that if I were married to someone who didn't support me that it wouldn't make me stop writing or playing music. It's just who I am. I know a lot of people here feel that way - that's why I like it here!
Lee Anna


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#148702 09/15/04 01:25 PM
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I'm amazed at all the responses and I so rarely get to find time to visit these boards that I'm happy to find a topic this fun.

My husband and I have been a duo musically since the early 80's. We have a great love story, as I was married to the drummer when we met. I won't bore you with that part, but I can honestly say that while we are a musical team and totally supportive of each other, we don't always agree on our future paths and that can be a drag. He's much more of a nester than I am and trying to talk him into hitting the road has been a huge struggle. There's always that day job thing... but right now he's in the basement learning tunes for another songwriter friend of ours with whom we will both be sitting in at a gig and that's the stuff that makes this teamwork so much fun!!!

You know its love when you'd give up the big picture for it, but you don't have to!

peace!
ac

#148703 09/15/04 01:50 PM
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There ya go. Mike. I am not alone. Thanks Mike.
Now i will print your reply of and show the missus.
I always tell her she is one in a million.
Now I can prove to her she is one of two in, um, um.
What is the world population running at today Mike?
Anybody?
Graham


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#148704 09/15/04 11:01 PM
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Hi Ladylyricist,

I wonder if your husband and maybe you too might be afraid of failure?
My husband is very supportive: does my website and photos (he's a professional photographer) and researches gear, and we recorded and engineered my CD together. It's really a team thing.
There have been times though, especially when there's a possibility that there may not be a great turn out to a show, or it's far away that it seems like he'll find all these excuses not to want to go. I practically have to drag him out the door. I really think he's just afraid that things won't go well.
Maybe your spouse is afraid that once you start working with people, you'll find out you're not as great as you thought you were. Or worse, you're everything you thought you were and maybe you're too good for him now. Just a thought.

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#148705 09/17/04 03:33 PM
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I have to say i have a very good wife who supports me in everything i do.She even sings back-up on my demo recordings(much better singer than me)....My girl not only supports me,but she also takes care of my parents and our grandson.If not for her,i wouldn't even bother.lol
Dave


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