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The response to the original post about a month ago of my lyric "Devil Town" seemed to be divided fairly evenly along two lines:
1. Those who felt that the singer shouldn't be assuming the role of Jesus, that I gave Jesus too much 'attitude', and biblical inaccuracy.
2. Those who felt the lyric worked just fine as is.
I realize some will never be comfortable with this song. Considering everything, I chose to stick with the 'singer as Jesus' approach. I personally find it much more powerful, and if it evokes some controversy, then that's not such a bad thing IMO as long as the message is positive (which it is intended). I agree that I gave Jesus too much of an 'attitude' in the earlier version, so I tried to deal with that accordingly. Regarding biblical accuracy, I consulted a theologian friend who confirmed accuracy (even providing passage references), so I'm not too worried there. I'm not really trying to defend the song. I know a song must stand on its own without explanation, but because of the subject, I thought I should say what I have. This time 'round, although I remain interested in lyrical comments, I'd mostly appreciate feedback on the song as a whole -- before I consider recording better. The RealAudio is my usual one-take acoustic guitar/(barely passable) vocal rendition just sitting down playing/singing into my cheap computer mic. Please try and imagine a full production with a Texas Blues kinda sound featuring lots of slide electric guitar. Full production can do wonders, but is it monotonous? boring? I'd like to know. Here's the lyric/link (should auto open from here) and thanks in advance...

http://members.nbci.com/tguertin/deviltown.ram

DEVIL TOWN
© 2001 Tom Guertin All Rights Reserved

(Verse 1)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
In a blood-stained gown and thorny crown
Gotta showdown with my destiny

(Verse 2)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
I'll show that clown, I'm the man of renown
Gonna make a little history

(Bridge)
When I see 'ol Satan, I'll wipe the smirk from his face
I rose from the dead, to come and take his place
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Lucifer, he ain't got nothin' on me
Oh no...

(Instrumental guitar break)

(Verse 3)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
The horned coward is down, I wear the victory crown
Just made the devil cop a plea

(Bridge - modified)
Lord, that Satan, he left without a trace
He couldn't kill me twice, now I've taken his place
Lord, it's time, to stake our claim
Let's clean-up this town, we need to change the name
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
One last time to set the hostages free
Oh yeah...

(Instrumental guitar break)

(Verse 4)
So, don't forget to frown on 'ol Devil Town
And still say a little prayer for me
So, don't forget to frown on 'ol Devil Town
And still say a little prayer for me

(Tag)
Still say a little prayer for me

Hi Tom!

I don't think I commented on this the first time you posted it, though I do remember seeing it on the other board. I really don't think there is anything wrong with the way you've portrayed Jesus in this lyric. Yes, Jesus is love, but Satan is anti-love. Jesus is just fighting for love and that's commendable, even if it is bluesy instead of psalmsy.

I don't think the rhythm or the melody is monotonous at all. I found it catchy and actually a lot of fun. As you know, I'm partial to the unplugged version, so I like it as is, but if you say the full production is gonna be better, then I'd say you have another hit on your hands!!

I love this line:
"I'll show that clown, I'm the man of renown"

I LOVE THE ATTITUDE!!!

Tink

Hi Tom, glad I gave a listen to this one. I love it myself. Like Tink I also like the unplugged version. As I listen I wanted to get out the Strat and toss in some bluesy lead here and there. I think you have a real winner here. Great work!


hotrod

Thanks Tink and Hotrod for the vote of confidence. Someone on another board gave me a good idea that may see the name of the 'new town' actually referenced in the song as "Angel Town". If I do, the title will probably be renamed to "Angel Town" and some lines in V4 modified, but I'll see.

Hotrod, what kind of Strat do you have? I have a vintage '58 (maple neck/tremolo) -- owned 'er since '76. Any chance you use the 'Hotrod' moniker based on the Fender Hotrod Deluxe amp?

Thanks again!

Tom

i dont know wo said there was biblical innacurracy in there but i am a christian and i thought it was a good song. And jesus ad attitude it just wasnt a sinful attitude and i see noting sinful in there. Thats a good one.

Tom, certainly a different viewpoint of the relationship between Jesus and the Devil. I don't understand Jesus taking the Devil's place line, but am sure you know what you mean there, I'm just missing the point somehow.
I agree the changing of the Devil Town to Angel Town would be quite correct since Satan himself is an angel and before Jesus' death on the cross had full liberties to go to and fro on the earth and in heaven. His wicked deeds of those times was as "the accuser of the brethren", but now since he's been cast out of heaven and no longer enjoys the status of a heavenly angel, his wrath is great and he wreaks havoc by being the great deceiver these days. So it actually would perhaps be more justitifed to call it angel town. Satan is the angel of the dark, as Jesus is the son of light and though was once made lower than the angels as a man on earth, he enjoys his fullness of glory as a heavenly being in the form of God's son once again as he did before his coming to the earth.
Well didn't mean to go off half-cocked just appreciating the thoughts you were conveying with the song. Best wishes.

Tried a couple of times to get at the audio Tom but I kept getting that "page is unavailable, may have been moved screen.

Will try again. For now, this works, and try it both ways to see which plays better.

My God, unwanted_guitarist must've gone searching for some of my material, 'cause if you'll notice, this one's been resurrected (pardon the pun) from the depths of JPF (April 22nd of this year). Thanks for the additional feedback guys. As for listening to it, sorry, I deleted it from a server that I no longer use. After the rounds of posting and critique, this one's a done deal.

Thanks again.

Tom

First non believer voice here Tom and i cqan't get it to play.
Went fine for me exept I guess the I rose form the dead seems to put this onto past tense when i understand it is written as he walks to Calgary (sp, and memory).
Should this be I'll rise??
Next wonder spot for me is the modified bridge,
The switch from I to we and us Throws me some.
As does the Lord Talking to The Lord.
I presume it is his Father he is in fact talking to and feel another term other than Lord would be better considering Lord is most often used as a name for Jesus. I think.
Regards.
Graham

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http://artists2.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Graham_Henderson/