JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 2 More Is Not The Measure

Well, in case ya'all have forgotten me by now, I used to post here. Been way too long since I wrote much of anything, but Stan's note to me today about finally getting that Jag he has been droolin' over sorta precipitated this'n. Hee hee...see, ol' buddy, you are definitely good for somethin'!! Any thoughts or suggestions for this are most welcome. I am purty durn rusty. After talking with my plugger this week I wanted to write something with, as he put it, "substance". Hope this fits his criteria.

Bobbie

More Is Not The Measure
© 2004 Lyrics by Bobbie Gallup ASCAP

You can't buy respect with riches
Or a hunk'a diamond ring
All the toys you accumulate
Are just superficial things
That Hummer won't make you happy
Parked out in your drive
And that twenty-something girlfriend
Sure don't mean that you've arrived

CHORUS:
More is not the measure
That means you're a success
More is not the measure
That says you're better than the next
Bigger is not better
And toys are not the test
When your time is done and Jesus comes
You'll be judged like all the rest

I don't really need a mansion
If my heart don't have the room
To help a fellow when he's down
Or help other flowers bloom
Did I do my best for others?
Did I lend a helping hand?
What's in my heart is what matters
And how'd I treat my fellow man

CHORUS: (Repeat)

Did I use the talents I was given?
How did I invest my time?
Is the world a better place?
Did I share a shoulder and a dime?
What I have is not important
It's what I am inside that counts
'Cause when that roll is called up yonder
I wanna hear my name announced

BRIDGE:
If you look at me and all you see
Is all the stuff I ain't got yet
I'm sure not gonna worry
Cause those things ain't worth the stress

CHORUS: (Repeat)



[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 05-16-2004).]

HIDee NashvilLady!

Good Song, & "KUDOS" for it.

I'll preface "My Defense" by sayin' the '95 Jag costs $198 a Month...(far LESS than a New Corolla woulda!), and we just HADDA get Another Set of Wheels to keep the Toyota Van (With its 185K miles on the Odometer) in Clock-Deliverin' Shape the next Yr and A Half 'till it's all paid off. While I wanted the Sporty XK8, we settled for the "Economy" XJ6..kind of an Ol' Lady's Jag, IMO, but it made La Femme happy enough.

I think Evabody has "Needs" of SOME Material Things...& Some want Better Ones than Others. That's what makes The Economy Go Round, or we'd all be ridin' Mules...

As for the Heart Thing, I've allus tried to be "Of Help" whenever I coulda...as Those Who Knows Me Know. ;-)>

Think I already penned The Answer Song to this'n'..."God Didn't Send Me On No Guilt Trip"...heh-heh...Last Cut on The New CD!

Good Luck with this Good'n', GREAT to See Ya Postin' Again!

BPH
Stan

Hey Bobbie,

I really like the chorus and V1 (although I'd cut the Jag so there aren't 2 car references). I think, though, that there's about 1 verse of stuff stretched into v2 and 3. I'd pare them down to 1 verse to get rid of repetition and to get a more commercial length. Good luck with it

Bill

------------------
We too often throw the word "great" around like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be

Hello Bobbie.

I think you have it with this one.

Well written, well said and easy on the read "the flow).

Only "nit" would be the hook. I find that the last line of the chorus sounds stronger then your first.

"More is not the measure" even though it is mentioned twice is not as strong as " You'll be judged like all the rest" IMVHO.

But as I started out I liked this one.

Douglas



------------------
"You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go.
It's up to you." John Denver

My Homepage is at:

www.besonic.com/douglasmurphy

Hi Bobbie

I like this, i would like to see more emotional examples; ie: are your hands strong enough to hold on to love.

these two lines read awkward to me

More is not the measure
That means you're a success


and though this ismore on the finished product end

I don't really need a mansion
If my heart don't have the room
To help a fellow when he's down
Or help other flowers bloom
Did I do my best for others?
Did I lend a helping hand?
What's in my heart is what matters--here i would like to hear backround singers harmonizing---more is not the measure
And how'd I treat my fellow man



------------------
http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php

Hello Bobbie,

Sure is good to see you post one up again. I've been missin' your always well-crafted lyrics. This one is certainly no exception . . . it ticked along like one of Stan's clocks for me. I really like it, and I have to respectfully disagree with Doug on the hook. It seems to me the whole song supports the "More Is Not The Measure" hook very well. KUDOS on good one. Its great to see you back.

Larry

------------------
www.taylormadesongs.com

It's very well done, yep. Maybe...

What's in my heart is what matters
And how'd I treat my fellow man

I'm not sure I favor ending this verse with a question. No biggie, though. Good luck!

I remember seeing you here Bobbie when I first became a member I think! Catchy name...

I love the lyric and if you're taking away one of the cars...I think you should keep the Hummer. That's the newest big car to have up our way anyways...we see at least 2-3 a day going through the tolls. We do see jags too though. Anyway with the price of gas(today it was $1.97)...went up 30 cents in the past 3 weeks up here! Maybe make a reference to that kind of stress owning a huge Hummer!

Like how you questioned yourself in the song. Good Day

p.s. does a hummer take diesel?



[This message has been edited by Linda A (edited 05-15-2004).]

Howdy Tampa,

You just knew I'd hafta razz you a bit about that Jag. Been doin' that ever since you first mentioned getting one to me. I'd already figured on taking one of the car references out even before folks picked up on that but I had to leave the Jag in at least till you saw it! Glad you liked this anyway. I can and will personally attest to your good heart. Been the recipient of your kindness when I needed it and for that you'll always be in the plus column in my book. For a person who has collected stuff all her life, I just have never been very materialistic. Nothing wrong with being comfortable in life, it is just when things become the "pursuit of happiness" that I figger folks go off the deep end, cause "things" will never bring happiness...and when they don't, folks just keep looking for the next "thing" that might fill the empty void inside. All JMO, of course...so whatever rocks yer boat. I was just very happy to have written SOMETHING again. Been a long dry spell while I re-adjusted to working real hours again. Thanks so much for the inspiration this mornin'!!

BPH,
Bobbie

[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 05-15-2004).]

Howdy Bill,

Thanks so much for taking time to check this out and share your thoughts. I was already planning to take that Jag outta there but hadda leave it in till ol' Stan saw it. Is gone now. Since the head tune I have going for this is actually pretty uptempo I don't think this will run even 3 minutes. Honestly, a one verse song isn't very commercial these days...LOL I do think there is more than one verse necessary to convey what I am trying to say here, but will see what others think also. I DO appreciate the insights...always!

Bobbie

Howdy Douglas,

Thanks so much for the kind words and suggestions. I always appreciate folks who take the time to help me hone my stuff. There's always a better way to say things IMO. You could well be right about that hook, although I still like the way that phrase, more is not the measure flows off the tongue, and to me it pretty well sums up the central philosophy I am trying to convey with this whole lyric. Guess there is nothing wrong with having an extra strong line in it anyway, even if I don't use that other line as the title. I'm so glad you like the lyric.

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

Very little rust on this!

Love the hook and sentiment of the song. Flows really well.

I'd probably say "More is not the measure of anyone's success" in the chorus, but that's just me.

And IMO the 3rd verse could be the bridge..."when that roll is called up yonder / I want to hear my name announced / it's the treasures up in heaven /
not the ones on earth that count

Good to see you on the board again!

Howdy Ritt,

Sure do appreciate the time and thoughts on this one. Been so long since I have been able to finish anything I was getting worried. I like your idea of the background harmonies...always been a big fan of tight harmony, guess that comes from growing up hearing barbershop quartets and a lot of harmony groups in church. As Bob Young said a couple weeks ago when he was here, "you're just a harmonizing fool". I literally cannot sing a melody to save myself but I can harmonize with almost anything.

Not sure what might be bugging you on those two lines, but will see if they bother anyone else. They seem to flow just fine to me, but one is never the best judge of their own lyrics! LOL

Thanks again!
Bobbie

Wel ya haven't forgotten how any how Bobbie.
Like it heaps.
One spot.
Try: 'Cause I said no to crime, rather than the dime line.
I think it ties better to the is the world a better place line, it being a question while the dime line doesn't carry it to conclusion well.
Looking at the last line in the bridge, but can't think of anything better yet.
Looks good Bobbie.
Graham

------------------
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm

Hey Bobbie,

Sorry if I wasn't clear. I meant to leave V1, and make V2&3 into a single verse, leaving 2 verses instead of 3, not just one verse. No need to respond to this

Bill

------------------
We too often throw the word "great" around like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be

[This message has been edited by lijemtu (edited 05-15-2004).]

Howdy Larry,

You say the nicest things...so thanks much! Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks and I can thank you in person. I understand you are coming to Pineyfest this year. I think we have some great stuff lined up. It sure felt good to actually finish something again. I have been so busy with my new job and trying to keep a few things going in the music business side of things that my writing time has greatly suffered. I was hoping folks would think that the verses here support the hook. Was my intention anyway. Glad you think so.

Thanks again,
Bobbie

Howdy Duke,

Thanks for dropping in to check this one out. I'm not totally sure I understand your comment, however. That isn't really a question at the end of that verse. It is actually a statement: Two things really matter: what is in the heart and how you treat your fellow man. Perhaps I am not interpreting your meaning correctly. Appreciate the time and thoughts anyway.

Bobbie

Hi Linda,

Yeah, that Jag is outta there already. It was only there to harass my buddy Stan. I did leave the Hummer in because ir really is an irritating status symbol IMO. No one really needs a vehicle like that, at least not 99% of the folks who buy them and then drive them around town. What a joke!! I don't know if they take diesel or not. Around here, gas is about $1.90 also.

Glad you enjoyed this one.

Bobbie

This is awesome, Ms. Bobby. Glad you're posting again!

Yes, I know that but I just thought it was a bit awkward grammatically, not in jive with the rest.

What's in my heart is what matters
And how'd I treat my fellow man

Perhaps...

What's in my heart is what matters
How I treated my fellow man

No biggie.

Bobbie..

Real nice, welcome back , kid !

Try "Pear shape diamond ring"

singgs better...

"And your twenty something girlfriend" sings better too..

I'll be back..gotta get Marys dinner out

Bob

Hi Ann,

Thanks so much for checking this out and for those great suggestions. I am seriously going to consider changing that bridge. Like the way you switched the order of those two lines a lot. I'm going to have to think some more on the first idea, however. Not sure if "anyone's success" is true. I am guessing that Donald Trump measures his success in terms of "more". We may disagree with his assessment, but I sorta think that is how he would define it. JMO, of course. I love it when folks pick up on things I have missed!! This place rocks!!

Bobbie

Awwww,geeze Graham, here ya go pickin' on one of my favrit lines!! I liked that sharing a shoulder and a dime bit. LOL The first 4 lines of that verse are intended to all be questions, then the answer comes in the last four lines. I will sure ponder on those ideas from across the big pond. I am so glad you enjoyed this. Been so long since I was able to finish an idea that it felt good to complete one...not that it is ever "finished". ALWAYS room for improvement IMO..at least in mine. Lemme know if you come up with any more ideas for that bridge, though I am probably going to go with Ann's suggestions there. Will see how the time runs in this and then decide whether to cut the existing bridge and use a half verse/bridge thing.

Thanks again for the great thoughts here.

Bobbie

Bobbie

Good to read your work again....Ain't lost yer touch girl!

I read the replies and I have to disagree with some comments about the hook because I think it's a real good one the way it is....More Is Not The Measure just rolls off the tongue but is still different enough to catch the ear/eye of the reader listener.
Good moral to this.....There might be a couple of lines that are a bit clumsy but not seriously.....Hell, I'm gonna leave you alone on this and let ya glean from the preceeding....Please don't have suprise heart failure because of that.

Good stuff!

Eric

Hi Bobbie,
Like the message here. It's so true, I hope it makes people stop and think. Love your 2nd verse. Good luck with it.

Mel

This one's a "go" to me, Bobbie! I seriously didn't find anything to nit reading through it. I see you did edit it a bit from the first post, but glad to see Stan got to see your original ... he deserves a good-natured "ribbing" once in a while ... probably get his goat enough to inspire a coupla good songs out of him!


------------------
Mary Lou

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/mlsudkampmusic.htm

Well, that was right sweet of you to say Ms. Tricia!! Thank you ever so much for taking time to read and share your thoughts with me. Feels great to be back amongst the posters again. I was feelin' dry.

Bobbie

Hi Duke,

You are right regarding the grammar part of that line. Sometimes I make myself cringe when I write a lyric, because I used to teach English at the university level...but as much as possible I try to write a lyric in a manner that sounds like people would actually say it. In this case I think the two thoughts do need to be connected by that "and". I have been wrong before (just ask the Dawg ) Thank you for the explanation. Helps me understand the issue a mite clearer.

Bobbie

Hey there Misnomer Young! Thanks so much for the excellent suggestions. I grabbed up on one of them right away. Hafta think more on that pear shaped diamond bit, since I was trying to be a bit more generic there. But that twenty something girlfriend just smacked me upside the haid!! Appreciate your perfesshunal perspektiv!!

Hugs,
Bobbie

Howdy Eric,

Be still my heart!! No nits? I am losing my touch..or you are! Will keep on the lookout for those clumsy lines. Thanks so much for dropping by to keep me on the straight and narrow. Glad you enjoyed this one.

Bobbie

Hey, Ms. Bobby! I had to laugh at the story in thebridgeworks that Dawg did. He called Bob-Bob (Misnomer) Young. That's how it got printed in there. Poor, Bob. I had a giggle over it, at least.

That, and all the womens over at WB fighting over Uncle Willam!!!! He's in Hawg Heaven.

I must agree with Bobbie that she picks the wrong side in every argument we have ... which is not necessarily the same as the losing side.<g>

dawg

Howdy Mel,

Thank you ever so kindly for the thoughts on this. I do appreciate the time and attention. Glad you enjoyed this one. It might be preaching to the choir, but I do like to have a message in my lyrics sometimes.

Bobbie

Thank you so much, Mary Lou. I do appreciate the kudos and the smile. Yeah, sometimes we just have to razz ol' Stan. It keeps him going!! So glad you liked this. After several months of not doing any decent material, it felt good to get one out again.

Bobbie