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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 372
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 372 |
Where's The Key to Whiskey
Title The key to whiskey ©2004 Writer Ken Lillie v1 I knew him as a young man He'd stand up tall and proud Then he turned to the bottle Never came down off that cloud v2 I can't stand to see him dying All locked up in whiskey's jail. Theres gotta be a way out. But the bottles refused the bail. Chorus Wheres the key to whiskey So far its been a mystery I can't seem to open up the door I've tried many times to break in I just end up in a tailspin End up back where I was before Won't somebody help me And tell me where it could be Tell me where's the key to whiskey. V3 I know there has to be a key It's there in black and white If the key can lock him up I need the key to let him out tonite v4 The whiskey's just like prison Keeps him locked up in a a cell Like a concrete wall all locked up in himself Maybe its not prison,maybe its just hell Chorus Wheres the key to whiskey So far its been a mystery I can't seem to open up the door I've tried many times to break in I just end up in a tailspin End up back where I was before Won't somebody help me And tell me where it could be Tell me where's the key to whiskey.
------------------ Poems belong in bookstores. Lyrics belong in songs.
Poems belong in bookstores. Lyrics belong in songs.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28 |
Good lyric Ken, but methinks that if you make this about yourself, it would pack a more powerful punch.
Ciao
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 372
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 372 |
You know John Im think your right.I'll give it a try. Thanks Ken...
Poems belong in bookstores. Lyrics belong in songs.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 392
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 392 |
Hi Ken - Nice song. I like the idea of making it in the 1st person. Here are my thoughts to keep or sweep. I thought verses 3 and 4 could possibly be consolidated. Or how about making verse 4 a bridge. For example
"Whiskey has me locked up in a cell Maybe it's not prison, maybe it's just hell."
Anne
Anne M-W
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240 |
Hi Ken... Nice Job here.....I'm agreeing with Both Johnny V's first person and Anne's Bridge suggestion...in lieu of vs 4.... best wishes to you...... Kaley
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