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Guess this one doesn't need a preface but any ideas for strengthening it would be appreciated. I know this topic has been done...but sometimes you just have to write what comes your way.

It's Sure Gonna Hurt For Awhile
© 2005 Lyrics by Bobbie Gallup ASCAP

Friends say that I'll get over you
I'll find somebody new
They all have these great ideas
For what I oughta do
Get involved with some charity
Help victims of abuse
Do something good for humanity
And I'll stop missing you

CHORUS:
They don't wanna think I'm still in pain
Or that some nights I feel a bit insane
So I put on my sweetest smile
But it's sure gonna hurt for awhile

I make them feel uncomfortable
It's just something I can tell
They say the wrong things or nothing at all
Though I know they all mean well
They introduce me to their single friends
To help me find some substitute
To fill my empty hours and hollow heart
As if I ever could replace you

CHORUS: repeat

BRIDGE:
We never thought you'd leave that way
But God had other plans we didn't understand
When He called you home that day
Now it takes forty breaths to fill each minute
Of every hour without you in it
I may cry, but I get by.,...it's just that....

CHORUS: repeat

TAG: Yeah, it's sure gonna hurt for awhile


[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 03-20-2005).]


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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Hi Bobbie,

Very sweet and complete.

Only alternative considerations I pondered were:

They don't wanna KNOW I'm still in pain
Or that some nights I feel a bit insane
So I WEAR my sweetest smile
But it's sure gonna hurt for awhile

Out Chorus:
. . . it's just that. . .
They don't wanna KNOW I'm still in pain
Or that some nights I feel a bit insane
So I WEAR my sweetest smile
AND GO ON HURTIN' ALL THE while . .

Yes It's sure gonna hurt for a while.

Just back-bin grist [Linked Image]
Terry

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Howdy Tall One,

I will take any back bin grist you wanna shovel my way. [Linked Image] It is always welcome here. Those are good suggestions! Will see where this one goes.

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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Hi Bobbie,

May be an old topic, but you've handled it very nicely. From a distance we all share your pain. Dawg's absence from these boards is a constant reminder to all of us of the great loss you suffered. I'm glad that you can write about it and let your feelings flow so honestly to the paper. It's probably the best therapy you could have. May the hurt fade quickly into the fond memories you hold in your heart. We are all thinking about you.

Larry

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Hi Bobbie

I don't think this topic will ever really be 'overdone'. And you have done a fine version of it.
It becomes a new issue to folks everyday.
BTW how are things going with Bouquet of Memories. I just love that song.

Sylvia's mother, divorced and alone for a few years, met a man about 4 years ago. Both pushin' 70 but it was like they were meant for each other all along. She raised in the city but longing for country. He a farmer, also divorced and alone.
They moved in together on his farm. Well, about 6 weeks ago he started feeling poorly, previous Lung cancer survivor and still smokin' 2 packs a day.
He passed away last week. I can only imagine what she is going through. I have known her for 27 years and the last few years were the only time I ever seen her really happy.
With your permission I will print this one out for her. I might even sing it. I been trying to put together a CD for her and it would make a great addition.
I have been working on a song about her and him. Uh Oh! givin' away my ideas, heheh.
Funny, I don't think of myself as being very talented, singing or playing guitar, but folks keep asking me for CD's. Go figure.

Looking forward to seeing you. I was hoping to go to Nashville in june for the songwriters festival but I don't think funds will permit 2 trips this summer. And, Pineyfest is much higher on my list of priorities.

Hugs
Bill

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Bill
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Bill
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." --Thomas Jefferson didn't say it

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Hi Bobbie,

I sure even the folks who don't know you would be able to tell this one speaks from the heart.

I don't know if you can make it any stronger?

The only thing I might ask is are you sure about;

To fill my empty hours and (Empty) heart.

To me a loved one past away is still present in the heart and mind and thats what makes so hard to allow a new love in.

Good Luck on a great lyric

Regards
Bill


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Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.


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[Linked Image]

I like it! It came straight from your heart and I can't see anything I would change except empty hours and lonely heart.

This is sweet, sweet, sweet!!!

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"Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm


"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Bobbie, Let me agree with others. You need to change the empty heart, this song came from a heart that was left full. What do you think it needs to be stronger? I know you asked for suggestions. I`m thinking a couple more lines in the chorus? but they have to be words from your heart not any of ours. Being new I don`t have a clue, am living with the pain of loss, that`s the key word (living) and I know you are too, I`ve read some of your work, complete this one yourself it`s meant to be that way.


That`s my two cents, need change? BILL ME


BE A FRIEND TILL THE END!!

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Hi Bobbie,

They introduce me to their single friends
To help me find some substitute
To fill my lonely hours, help my heart to mend
As if anyone could ever fill your boots.

Ter [Linked Image]

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Howdy Larry,

I cannot imagine what people must go through if they are unable to write the pain out of their hearts. For me...as it probably is with many if not most songwriters...our writing is what keeps us going emotionally. It is incredibly therapeutic at least for me. When I get the thoughts down on paper, they don't seem quite so overwhelming. Thank you for understanding and allowing me to share these feelings. I know a lot of folks here share the pain of losing Dawg. You are family by choice.

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Hi Bill,

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Sylvia's stepdad. Sometimes those late in life marriages more than make up for any earlier disappointments, and two people can cram a lot of happy memories into a few short years. [Linked Image] I will remember Sylvia's mom in prayer. I know that helps! Absolutely feel free to share this lyric with her...and if you wish...do music for it...although I have already had another composer ask for it. PLEASE don't EVER diminish your talent!! You are awesome. You were given a gift...and it is up to you to do whatever you can with it!

As for this lyric...I know that this situation becomes relevant for most folks at some time in their lives. I haven't talked with Ken Harrell, who is/was doing music for Bouquet of Memories, since way before Christmas. I will have to get in touch with him and see what is going on.

I am SO glad you are coming for Pineyfest!! Tha warms my heart!!

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Howdy Bill,

I totally agree with you on the fact that the love does not leave just because the person is gone. However, what I was trying to convey there was the feeling that there is this huge hole in your heart, a void that feels empty like a part of you is gone. I might change that line to hollow heart. Clearly several folks see this as you do, so I will sure think on that one more. Thank you so very much for the read and perspective on this. Every one of these songs is another step in the healing process. I am just so very thankful to have had him in my life, even for such a brief time. He was one of a kind. [Linked Image]

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Hi Ms Tricia,

I am so glad you liked this one. Made a bit of a switch on that line about the heart. Might not satisfy folks...but that is how I felt this one. Sure appreciate the read and kind comments!!

Hugs,
Bobbie

[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 03-20-2005).]


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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Hi Doug,

It is interesting that you would suggest adding some lines to the chorus...as I originally had the last half of the bridge as part of the chorus. I am still waffling on that...ie.
They don't wanna think I'm still in pain
Or that some nights I feel a bit insane
So I put on my sweetest smile
But it's sure gonna hurt for awhile
It takes forty breaths to fill each minute
Of every hour without you in it
I may cry, but I get by.,...
Though it's sure gonna hurt for awhile

I thought that might be too long. I think the bridge can stand ok without those lines. Will see if anyone else thinks the longer chorus works better?

Thanks for bringing that up. It was one of my "issues" with this.

Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Howdy T,

More good suggestions from the grist mill. I like them although 'mending the heart' and 'filling the boots/shoes' are both pretty well "done" I am thinking. Maybe no more so than the rest of the lines in this. [Linked Image] Will keep them in the pile...see how this comes together.

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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wow! Bobbie,
you put it so well.
I read the debate.... and see you've already changed the line...so don't know what you started out with....
But my preference would have been in the second verse to state it as

To fill my Empty hours AND HEART

I understand your explanation perfectly. Not that he didn't fill up your heart... but that as you say....there is a hole there. (That's exactly how I worded it when I told someone about losing my mother. and while there have been some over the 35 years since she left that have filled in the hole partially....no one can ever fill it in all the way. )

The real issue I have with this is your first verse. and it's "techie" stuff.
Your second verse rhymes lines 2 and 4...... and lines 6 and 8.....
But in verse one(counting perfect and near rhymes together) you have five lines rhyming...
1,2,4,6,& 8
a little to much, methinks.
also....... in verse two.... lines 1, 3, 5, and 7 don't rhyme....and yet in verse one.... lines 5 and 7 do.

like I said...technical stuff.......

otherwise.... ready for music.

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Powerful stuff here, Bobbie. The bridge put a lump in my throat.

If you mean for this to be commercial, I would possibly tone down the specificity of the second half of verse one... even though that really is a tip I've commonly read and heard for getting through a hardship, it almost seems flippant when put into words in a song. Might just be me, though.

Okay, nitpick paragraph over. I like this and it's very well written. Tall Terry's suggestion is pretty cool. Good luck with this!

Corey

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Hi Bobbie,

This is beautifully done all and all. I’m not one to set here a nit at it so I guess the other are just going to have to do that. You know how much I think of Dawg and I’m sure I can’t even imagine the pain you have been through. Wonderful song and I feel Dawg is looking down feeling the same. Again I’ll say you are one strong and special lady Bobbie my friend!

David

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Hi Bobbie

i keep stumbling on "a bit insane" seems "incomplete"

They don't wanna think I'm still in pain
the whole situation seems so inhumane
but I put on my sweetest smile
it's sure gonna hurt for awhile

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Howdy Mz Harriet,

Thanks so much for coming by to check this out. Glad you liked it. Your suggestion for the Empty Hours line is actually just about what I started with. I had empty hours and empty heart (bit of a different meter going there). I figured you would understand about that void that is left when someone you love dies. It is like a part of you is just gone.

As for the extra rhymes...sometimes I like to do that when a rhyme just seems to fit. The overall "scheme" was just the 2,4, 6 & 8 lines but some of the other words I wanted to use just happened to also have a similar sound...so I put them in. I can always change them if need be. Not sure if extra rhymes are really an issue or not. If I ever decided to go anywhere with this...might rethink that.

Sure appreciate the thought and insights on this, however!!

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Howdy Corey,

Sorry about that lump...the bridge is my favorite part of the song. I didn't want to reveal (for song purposes) that the person had died until the bridge, hoping this might be more universal that way. Up until that point, if people didn't know Dawg and me personally, this could have been a lover left type song.

As for those suggestions in V2, those really are typical of the things people suggest. "You'll feel better if you do something to help others." It actually works, IMO because you do tend to forget about your own problems when you see others whose lives are so much more difficult. I think that even the most caring of friends really want to help you feel better because the situation just makes everyone feel helpless. Nothing you do can change the outcome...and no one really wants to just let time do what it can. I didn't mean those suggestions to sound flippant...because they weren't intended to be at all.

I will add your vote to the TT suggestion. Thanks so much. Always appreciate your insights.

Hugs,
Bobbie


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Howdy David,

I am glad you liked this. It sure isn't without its share of flaws...but I have had some good suggestions for fixes. I hope Dawg would be pleased with things...Thank you so much for your continued support and concern. It means the world to me to have friends like you.

Hugs,
Bobbie

PS...I don't remember if I ever told you I received the CD...and THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I really appreciate having a copy of that.

[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 03-21-2005).]


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Ahhhh, Ritt, now you are hittin' me where it hurts. [Linked Image] I am particularly fond of that line because it really feels that way, like you are going a bit nuts. Your emotions are in total turmoil. You are sad, angry, scared...and it all makes you feel very much like you are a little crazy. The inhumane concept isn't what I was after there. Think I am gonna keep the insane thing. You try to cover it up with the "I'm ok smile" but inside...you are anything but.

Hugs,
Bobbie


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Hi Bobbie, I like this alot. I can hear a melody to it so easily and for me that's a tool I measure by. Take care. rg.


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Nice writing Earth Angel!

I couldn't nit this if I wanted to... but I do need a tissue!

To fill my empty hours and hollow heart
As if I ever could replace you

those two lines did it for me... you are an amazing lady Miss Bobbie!
*There's an angel in overalls watching over you and he's never more than a sweet memory away* Take care sweet lady! Trudi

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Hi Bobbie, This pulled me in like a magnet and I, of course printed it out for Tom's wife, Rosalie. She and I both know that this is right on the money from the heart and no one could have said it better! I am sure that this message hits "home" for many who have lost loved ones and I disagree that it is an overdone subject. For me-- it is finished and ready to be married to a beautiful melody and sung by either gender. Actually, I would like to hear this one done by Tracy Byrd. Thanks for hitting the mark on a universally human subject. It is superbly written. Trudi said a cool thing about that angel in overhalls. I think I have seen him a time or two myself. Luv ya--Idamarie

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Well, hi Randy,

Sure is good to see you dropping by this place...and I thank you kindly for the nice words on this lyric. Since I am not a musician, I try to write the words so they will "sing" to folks that are in hopes they will get a melody for it and want to do the music...so if this one came with a melody for you...let me know. I would love to hear what you have for it. I have been enjoying the cd you guys gave me at the chapter meeting so much. You guys rock!!

BTW...looks like we are going to hook up with Marla Sitten and Radioactive Promotions for the benefit concert I was talking about. Will probably be down at the Rhythm Kitchen in either July or August. I will keep you posted if you are still interested in performing.

Thanks again.

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Awwwww...thank you SO much Trudi! You are so thoughtful and sweet. Sorry I probably should have put a hanky warning on this one. I think my special angel in overalls has been sending me stuff to write lately...cause I still have to fix the meter. [Linked Image]

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Thank you Idamarie...this did come from the heart as you know. I am glad it brought you and Rosalie some comfort. If it does speak to others who have suffered loss..then it will have done its job. I hope to get music for it soon. I never would have thought of this for Tracy Byrd. Clue me in on why? I love his voice though and agree that it could go for either gender.

Always appreciate your perspective on things!

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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LOL... Bobbie! I remember that he told me "she has to meter me cause my yardstick is short" I wasn't sure what he meant but when you said you had to meter it... it popped into my head...lol

Keep sending them out girlfriend your angel in overalls is doin good [Linked Image] Hugs Trudi

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hi bobbie

I like this very much. I actually don't think the chorus needs to be longer. IMO the verses are strong, and set up the story so well, all the chorus needed to do is be the punchline, or in this case introduce the title into the lyric. I did see one thing that may be just me but in v2 the line "to help me find some substitute", I could see "to help me find someone new", just for the flow, and if the meter allowed. Just a thought. Great work anyways! Keep writing

mike

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Truly wonderful, heartfelt lyrics - from a truly wonderful woman!

I really hope you get to hear this sung Bobbie! [Linked Image]

Diane


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Hi Trudi,

That is so typical of him. LOL He used to crack me up every day with stuff like that. [Linked Image] He just had that inimitable way with words. Lots of great memories! Thanks for sharing that one with me.

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Hi Mike,

Thanks so much for sharing your perceptions on this. Soemtimes, when a lyric is too personal, it is hard to see what may be totally obvious to others. Glad you liked it. I do appreciate the suggestion regarding "to help me find someone new", however, I already used pretty much that same line in V1 L2...so probably wouldn't want to use it a second time. Will see if that substitute word bothers anyone else.

Thanks so much!
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Hi Diane,

I hope you get to hear it sung also!! [Linked Image] Maybe someday I will have enough skill to compose my own melodies...am working on that but am not even CLOSE. Around here, great demo singers are everywhere...but you have to have the music ready. I am so pleased that you liked this...and thank you so much for the kind thoughts. Means a lot to me!

Hugs,
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

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Thanks Bobby for the compliment on the cd and yes, we are still interested in the benefit. Since you said it was okay, i am gonna take the lyric and see if I can lay something down that sounds any good and If I do I'll send it your way. Won't know till I hash it out.


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Hi Randy,

That is way cool. Can't wait to see if you come up with something you like for this one. If you do..LOL I only have another 2500 for you to choose from. [Linked Image] Just have fun with it. I love your harmonies so much...especially on LOVE ME KNOT. Terrific song...awesome hook...and great harmonicas & mandolin! [Linked Image]

Thanks..
Bobbie


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music

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