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Hi folks, with the exception of the 1st verse this one is totally rewritten. Comments appreciated.

HEAVEN WAS NOT FAR AWAY

1.Verse
Sweetness of youth hung in the air
As we stroll'd home from the school dance
The windin' path along the river bank
Was cover'd in frost as we romanc'd,
Spiders webs dress'd in crystal dew
Sparkel'd in the newborn light
The sun was blushin' in the east
And you were the most wonderful sight

CHORUS
HONEY THE SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS YOU DID'NT SAY
WERE JUST WHAT MY HEART ACHED TO HEAR
EACH SILENT MOMENT WHEN YOU WERE NEAR
HEAVEN WAS NOT FAR AWAY

2.Verse
Thousands of dreams came true at once
When you smiled and whisper'd my name
The silver birch where the blackbirds now mate
Was only a twig when we lost our shame,
Since then I swear your magic touch
Never fail'd to amaze me
Each time I stumbl'd in the dark
You lit a beacon so I could see

CHORUS
HONEY THE SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS YOU DID'NT SAY
WERE JUST WHAT MY HEART ACHED TO HEAR
EACH SILENT MOMENT WHEN YOU WERE NEAR
HEAVEN WAS NOT FAR AWAY

bridge
memories alone make my life complete
since the angles called you home
you always linger in each hearbeat
though you've gone I'm never alone

CHORUS
HONEY THE SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS YOU DID'NT SAY
WERE JUST WHAT MY HEART ACHED TO HEAR
EACH SILENT MOMENT WHEN YOU WERE NEAR
HEAVEN WAS NOT FAR AWAY

TAG
AND RIGHT NOW...............
HEAVEN IS NOT FAR AWAY

(c) 2005 Jan Johansen
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161


[This message has been edited by Jan Johansen (edited 11-26-2005).]

[This message has been edited by Jan Johansen (edited 11-26-2005).]

Hi there my friend Jan!
It was so good to see your name on the forum this morning!
Very nice write in your usual poetic style with some pretty lines. The bridge is very effective...
nice job
Joanne


------------------

[*]The Best is Yet to Be,Joanne Lurgio-singer/songwriter www.joannelurgio.com


[*] Joanne's Gig Calendar - http://www.musi-cal.com/search?key=performers&value=Lurgio

[*] http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=100751

[*] www.cdbaby.com/cd/lurgio

Greetings Jan! I listened to your song, "there must be a reason". I love your voice and the music is so calming! I'm looking forward to hearing more of your songs.
Good Day, Linda A

Hi Joanne

Thanks a lot for taking time to read it, I always value your comments and am pleased that you like it.

Thanks again
Jan
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161

Hi Linda

I'm pleased you like the song "THERE MUST BE A REASON". I wish it was my voice, but the credit must go to my collaborator Randy Thorderson. What about this lyric?, critique is welcome.

All the best
Jan
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161

[This message has been edited by Jan Johansen (edited 12-03-2005).]

Hi Jan,

very descriptive and real as in the spider webs dress'd in crystal dew...I see those too but don't ever think to use it in my writing. I looked for this on soundclick but did not see it and I think that's why I didn't comment on this particular song originally...that's how I ran into "There Must Be a Reason". I had to read the "lost our shame" phrase and the context more than twice to understand what I think you're saying. I just never heard it being stated in that way before(losing virginity)? That was just an observation and a new perception for me, not necessarily a nitpick with the song. Take Care, Linda

Hi Linda

Thanks for your comments, they are very much appreciated. No this one is not on my SoundClick site yet, it hasn't been set to music yet.

All the best
Jan
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161

HiDee Jan!

I got a Problemo with your Chorus:

The opening Couplet doesn't seem Logically-put. In essence, what she DIDN'T convey to her lover was JUST what he wanted to hear.

UNLESS she's quite a Nag, I don't think this is what ya wanna convey.

Dunno if you wanted the Irony of Heaven being "Not Far Away" (via her Presence) AND her Dying in the Last Verse too...

Couple of Line Change Suggestions:
"Your LOVE lit a beacon..so I could see"
(Doubt that She, Personally, "Lit a Beacon"...) and...

"Tho you're gone I FEEL never alone"
(Because, IF he IS "Never Alone" he's with Some OTHER Living Woman..Right?)

"Angels" is the way you wanna spell that word...

My Overall Impression is this is maybe Too Sweet for Today's Market..USA-wise, anyways. It's less Heart-to-Heart "Conversational" than it is Poetic.

In Conclusion, The Tag is just TOO Ironic...IF "Heaven is not far away" THEN the Singer is on the Verge of Dying..SINCE..alas..She's already dead.

I doubt you planned a Suicide Song..yet this one seems to point in that direction.

Good Luck with the Rewrite, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hi my Florida friend

Thanks for dropping in and giving me food for thoughts.

Regarding:"what she DIDN'T convey to her lover was JUST what he wanted to hear"
Her I tried to get accross that silence (the words she didn't say) sometimes says more than words, and that was what my heart ached to hear. Also that silence when she was near gave me an almost heavenly feeling, i.e."Heaven was not far away".

Also "Heaven was not far away" both when she was literally near in life and figuratively near after she had died. In other words a loved ones presence can give a heavenly feeling both in life and long after they have gone (in our memories)as I tried to convey in the bridge and the tag.

Figurative expressions are always more difficult to get across than literally ones and I would be interested in if anyone could shed some light on this, i.e. did it make any sense to you. Doubts are an integral part of the creative arts and I as most people have my doubts if I suceeded in getting across what I wanted to.

Thanks Stan for bringing it up, I really do appreciate it.

Jan
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161

Thanks for coming back on and noticing my comment. TampaStan is a brilliant writer Jan and I don't want to appear as though I know more than he but your words made sense to me. You might want to understand where Stan's coming from so that others won't translate your lyric in a way that you didn't intend for it to be. I didn't take it in the same way as Stan.

I also looked at it in an additional way that since he didn't feel alone because of the sacred memories of his lost loved one and his assumption that his girl is in heaven, that for him...heaven was not far away...he felt that she was close. I found this song to be a comfort.

http://www.soundclick.com/lindaanthony

Jan,

I like the way it reads. No nits. Good job. Can't wait to hear Randy sing it when the music's done.....

ben

Hi Linda

Thanks for comming back again and letting me know about your thoughts regarding the content. I'm pleased you feel the lyrics are of comfort to you.

Thanks a lot
Jan
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161

Hi Ben

Thanks, I'm pleased you got it the way I intended it.

All the best
Jan
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=41161

[This message has been edited by Jan Johansen (edited 12-06-2005).]