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{A sorty Fun One, penned durin' the Road Trek, to break up This Week's Seriousness...}
The Three Little Words I Like Most to Hear Are of course.."I Love You" But there's 3 MORE Words Kinda Fill Me with Fear.. Let Me sing you A Chorus or Two:
(CHORUS) BY THE WAY.. I've Found Another... BY THE WAY.. You OWE Me Some LOOT.. BY THE WAY.. Your DOG Dug UP My FLOWERS.. "BY THE WAY" Says My Butt's-Gettin'-CHEWED!
THOSE 3 Little Words Are Like A Veil In a Magic Act... Hidin' Manipulation & Aggravation That Reappears as "Tact"...
(CHORUS) BY THE WAY.. Th' Doc Says "We're PREGNANT" BY THE WAY.. Junior's FAILING in School.. BY THE WAY.. Our Car Needs NEW TIRES... "BY THE WAY" Helps to Give-Me-A-CLUE!
(BRIDGE) Now EVERY Day has UPS and DOWNS (Like PONIES on a CAROUSEL) But "BY THE WAY" is Your FREE TICKET For a ROLLER-COASTER RIDE..Thru HELL---
And...
BY THE WAY... The Kids Broke Your Mirror.. BY THE WAY.. Broke Your Best Beer Stein, TOO... BY THE WAY.. Looks Like We Need A PLUMBER "BY THE WAY" I'll Be PAYING More DUES..
And..
BY THE WAY.. The Dog Ate Your Slippers... BY THE WAY.. All The Kids Need New Shoes... BY THE WAY.. Mom-in-Law's HERE TO VISIT.. BY THE WAY I Think I Need More BOOZE...
(TAG) It'll Help Me To Pay All My Dues... BY THE WAY----
(C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI All Rights Reserved.
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I don't know how you keep coming up with these songs, TampaStan, but they're always a pleasure to read. This is a crack-up. Got me to smile on a not-so-happy morning. The tag doesn't seem to fit in, quite. I'm not quite sure what it means. It did put me in mind of the idea of the singer ending with a hand out to the audience, though. If you could re-word it to address the audience and get the last "BY THE WAY" to be a hint to them to drop something in the tip jar... Maybe that's what it already means and I missed it. If so, for the lunkheads like me you might want to make it more obvious. Really fun! I'd love to hear this on the radio. I know I'd be singing along with every "BY THE WAY". - James
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Hi Mr. Stan, Yeah! I'm with James on this one. It's so much fun. Made me laugh in spite of a flare up of back pain. (the oddest thing happened this week---I got knocked in the throat---my three y.o. was jumping up at the same time I bent over to pick him up---started a whole bunch of weird symptoms including lots of pain). Thanks for the laugh. Now I'm gonna go find something to take for pain. Glad you made it home safely. I missed you and was hoping you were safe. It's a crazy world out there on the road these days. And then you mentioned your buddy falls asleep sometimes! Whew! Had me worried. lsh, (btw--I hope this means "little sister hugs"---that's what I'cve thought all this time anyway) Vanessa
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Hi Stan, By the way...this is funny!! (Hey...I've just discounted the premise of your song!) Lisa
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Well done, fun one, Stan. Around these parts, "BTW" doesn't have that sorta connotation, however. "And something else" might be considered in the same vein as your Mom calling you by your whole name, though. Not sure about the "rolly-coaster", even though it works with "ups & downs." You're whole point is that BTW means something bad, so there would be no "UPS." I'd go with a sliding board straight to hell. Ben
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Good Evenin' Brother James!
Yeah, it is High Time for a little Levity on this Sad Planet...(Even If this Lyric IS kind of a Laundry-List of Stuff that's Going Rather Wrong...heh!)
Tag Explanation: It comes in Right After the Need More BOOZE Line..& The Booze "Helps me to pay my dues...By The Wayyyyyy!"
Allus been told to End Songs On Your Hook for Maximum Memorability, so I did so..sorry if it Confused A Bit tho!
I've yet to successfully Make The Transition to Human Jukebox (cum-tip-jar), since I memorize stuff VERY Slowly/Often Not-too- Well-at-all. It WILL prolly end up on one of my Multiple CDs that Languish a Bit at CDBaby.com, in the semi-near Future!
Stay Tuned and Big THANKS for Your Kind Visit & Words, Amigo! Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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HiDee Li'l Sis!
Allus Great to Hear From Ya...So Sorry you've had a Painful Day!
Thrilled I could at least bring ya a couplea Chuckles today--it's been Such a Downer Week, News-Wise! SO Down, I'm almost lookin' forwards to some more Anna Nichole Smith Revelations..it's THAT Bad!
I remember from my College Days Self-Defense Course that the THROAT is one of the MOST Vulnerable Places to get Hit In... (& you ever watch onea those African Safari Travelogues, see how FAST a Lion or Tiger takes OUT its Prey with a Chomp to da Throat!) OUCH! So Yes, You really Have My Sympathy on that Bouncin' 3-Yr-Old's Incident today!!!
My Road Trip was about the Most Hellish Experience I've ever had, since my Year in 'Nam. 10 Days in all...Mostly Rainy, Cold ones at that..sleepin' either on a bed that reeked of Cat Pee or in the Cab of a Truck or Van. 2nd to Last Nite I did get us a Motel Room/got a Long-Awaited Shower & Warmed Up. Next Nite, Gene pulled in to buy us each a cold Coke and Truck wouldn't start..(Remember the "Marietta" Song? Was about 2 Miles FROM MariaNNa, FL, right on the Border where we ALWAYS Break Down!) Slept yet-again in that Cold, Cold Cab overnite, & hadda hit the ATM for the $200 that got a new Solenoid and Starter Motor..so I could arrive in Tampa a Total of 3-days-LATE (& receive the Stare Of The Week from La Femme--)
She loves me Again, today...sold off my Art Nouveau Jewelry Shop Interior, 1890's Ornate Cast Iron Radiator from Ybor City, and a nifty Art-Nouveau Wrought Iron Floor Lamp for $4500, which ALMOST covers what this little Trek has set me back. We're Halfway There to coverin' the Property Taxes now-due/Customers already Owe Me the Other Half..so Life's almost Back To Normal again.
Delivered a Grandfather Clock Do sold to Father Dennis Donovan, Director of Mary Help of Christians Center, East Side of Tampa today...Real Nice Fellow who manages this BIG School for Disabled and Autistic Children. I meet some Great Men of The Cloth in my Biz, often Unexpectedly, but we allus hit it off!
DID spend some Time chattin' with The Deity that one REALLY Cold Nite in Gene's dead truck. KNOW I'm supposed to Pen a Few More Songs after survivin' THAT Night..14 hours of Lightning, Rain, Stiff Winds in a Truck with a Dead Alternator/No Heat/I was soakin' wet after trekkin'/hitchhikin' to get 6 gallons of gas 2 miles away to make sure it WASN'T an Empty Tank. (Wasn't..heh!) Hard to believe a Broken Fan Belt can Kill..but I'm now a Believer.
I penned this one the next day...After I Thawed Out & Penned the "9-1-1" Song! (Gene's Driving was Magnificent..NO "Near Misses" at all..& he always slept whenever it was "Time" for it. I'd make him walk every Rest Stop, 'cuz his legs kept swelling up..a New Source of Worry.. Always Something, eh?) ;-)>
Thanks for the LSH's AND that Very Pretty Purple Heart, Mz V! (Still Lookin' Forwards to a Closeup Shot of that Pretty Smilin' Face of Yours...one of these days!)
Had my Digital Dervish Son of mine shoot a Springtime Mug Shot of Yers Truly today..It's so Warm Out today that that Avatar pic with a Scarf-On looked out-of-date. (I now got Equal-Billing with a Home Depot Fountain and a Gigantic Staghorn Fern Overhead..it's Sure to Be a Winner!) ;-)>
Thanks for the Kind Words & Occasional Prayers, & I hope you're pain-free as ya read this now-Wallpaper-Length Reply!
Big Hugs, LS, Stan
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Good Eve, Lady L (With the Loveable Avatar...)
I Thankya for the Kind Visit & Great Quip!
It immediately got my Fertile Li'l Brain a-whirlin'...& out popped the Hook: "DISCOUNT MARRIAGE (1/2 OFF!)"
I'm too Addlepated tonight to pen The Lyric, but I'll Owe Ya One, eh?
Big Hugs (& a Li'l Forehead Smooch), Stan
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Good Eve, Bro Benster!
I confess, even after 35 years of Livin' "Down South" I still don't entirely translate Southernese, so ya may be right about BTW down Alabamy Way~!
DO think the Rolly Coaster to Hell Image DOES Work, since it heads Straight DOWN right off the bat, just like the Real Ones do...comin' UP only often-enuf to toss your cookies.
Hey, I HAVE lived Down Here long enuf to know what a "Galvanized Yankee" is! (AND I can Whistle "Free Bird" if I'm Drunk Enuf!)
Thanks for your Kind Words & Sugs & Visit, Amigo! Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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By the way Stan, This was funny, By the way Stan, This was cute, And the line there bout the mom-in-law, By the way Stan, was a hoot!
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Howdy Stan! A real fun read! Sorry you had such a bad trip, but they always make the best stories ya know? Good one!! Unca Chuck
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Stan,
This is a hilarious bit of life wisdom. Great work!
A few months back, when Judi was in a certain mood to provide the contrary view on matters, another phrase similar to the one you've identified as a precursor to a roller coaster ride through hell jumped out at me. It was "Yeah, but..."
We were sitting in a pizza parlor enjoying our verbal exchange when she said it for the third time in five minutes. I reached over, took a napkin from the holder on the table, picked the pen out of my pocket and wrote her this little piece. (Which I'll include here as it makes a good companion piece to your own bit of writing here posted...)
The Yeah-But
I came upon a Yeah-But, But it wouldn't do a thing. It darted back and forth, And kept on Yeah-Butting. The soundest of suggestions It objected to point blank-- Because that ornery Yeah-But Thought the whole plan stank.
Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Yeah-But, What a loathesome beast! Its full of contradictions, Its objections never cease. Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Its nature is its name. A Yeah-But for a pet Could drive a kid insane.
I caught myself a Yeah-But, Its crouching in my cage. It keeps on contradicting, And sputtering its rage. Its spiny, whiny, prickly-- Its claws are sharp and long. That Yeah-But's pointy snoot Is where its tail belongs.
Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Yeah-But, What a loathesome beast! Its full of contradictions, Its objections never cease. Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Its nature is its name. A Yeah-But for a pet Could drive a kid insane.
I thought I'd let my Yeah-But go, But it just shook its head. It declared I should lock The cage fast shut instead. I saw the longing in its eye, Couched in the open door. I said, "Then stick around a while-- And I've seen it no more.
Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Yeah-But, What a loathesome beast! Its full of contradictions, Its objections never cease. Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Yeah-But, Its nature is its name. A Yeah-But for a pet Could drive a kid insane.
c2007 Skip Johnson
I like "By the Way". A real little gem. Hope it sees music and gets the hearing it deserves. It will bring a lot of smiles.
Keep writing.
Skip
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Good Morning Stan I enjoyed the read. Yep, it rings all too familiar. I like this couplet and image best. jm Are Like A Veil In a Magic Act...
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Hey Stan
Where you've been?? SOme hibernating in you clock shop?
By the way, I love it. Its not back patting or scratching your back so you can scratch mine. There some magic in every "by the way".
I think you already concocted some melody in your lyrics I really love to hear it. You are my idol.
Lynman
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Stan, Fun read. I wish that I could offer something else, but I can't think of anything to add except that I enjoyed it! Melissa
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By The Way, Mz Lynn, I enjoyed your New Lyric #29 Last Night...tho I dozed off & hadda finish my Crits when I woke up this AM! (There just aren't enough Hours in a 24 Hour Day anymore..heh!)
I've actually got the NICEST Mom-in-Law on the Planet. She's visited with Papa Girardin from Switzerland exactly Once..didn't like the Bustle of the USA..& we visit her & Papa about every 2-4 years, Wish it could be More Often..He's now 87 and she's about 85. GREAT Cook, Sweetest Mom in Law ya could ever ask for!
Of course, I couldn't resist a Mom-in-Law Chuckle in this lyric, knowin' MY Mom-in-Law ONLY Speaks French!
Thanks for Your Kind Visit, M'Lady, & a Big Friday AM Hug to ya! Stan
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G'Mornin' Chuckster & a Happy Friday to ya, Amigo!
Hey, that's Real Close to a Great Hook: "The Worst Journeys (Make the Best Stories)" BRILLIANT Thinkin', Buddy!
WISH I had Grandkids to tell some to...but for now I guess I'll just haveta write More Songs, eh? ;-)>
Thanks for the Kind Visit & Words, Amigo, & Great Luck with Your New CD!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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G'Mornin' My Dr Seus-ian Friend!
That Lyric of yours here is DELIGHTFUL! DO get this one to Kaley Willow...it's got that Kid Song Feel (While Mesmerizin' Us Adults!) and screams HIT to my usually calloused-over eyes & ears.
I think the English Language is great fun both for what it Says and even more so for What It Says Between The Lines.
Glad to have provided a Chuckle on this Toughest of Newsweeks. I plan on gettin' back to Bill Dudley's Studio as soon as I get the $9K Property Tax bill behind us; CD's workin' title's "Songs for Deaf Ears"...which should leave me a Lotta Lattitude in the Music Quality Dep't...heh!
We both oughta develop a Lyric on "Whatever"...certainly the most Overused Word in the English Vocabulary nowadaze...it's become SO Blase I wanna squeeze my younger son's Neck when I get it fired back at me..WAY-too-frequently--
Off to sneak a peek at Calvin's Buther Boy thread to catch up on our Latest Discussion on da Universe..then gotta get into my Secret Disguise again & head off to Da Clock Shop--
Thanks for your Kind Words & Great Lyric-Sharin', Amigo!
Big Hugs to You & Judi, Ol' Stan
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G'Mornin' Mz Gem!
Yeah, thought I'd brush up on my Imagery a bit, since I been Oft-Guity of Tellin'-rather'n-Showin'. It's usually REALLY a Magician's CAPE..but Veil had a Nicer Sound to it/easy-pickin' Rhyme to follow--best I can recollect!
I gotta Scoot, But Big Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Words, Mz G!
Big Hugs, Stan
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Wow, Doc L...You made me an American Idol? Stop The Presses! Heh! (No Swelled Head or Hairdo this AM...La Femme says "Off To Work!") WAS Near-Hibernating out in MO and ARK..& even Northern FL that last Truck Breakdown of Several. I feel especially Sympathetic to Homeless Folks after the Experience...Deep Cold takes away just about ALL but your Spirituality...JMO. Yeah, this one's got a pretty Simple Melody I partially-Lifted from a Previous Song of Mine, "They Can Tell", Melody by Bill Dudley, my FM DJ/Childhood Chum.Ya can Sample It at < www.CDBaby.com/TampaStan/5> where that song is on the "It Helps to Have a Miserable Childhood" CD... Gotta Scoot..Clocks a-waitin' to be Fixed, Bills to be Paid, Wife to Be Placated.... Best Wishes & Thanks for Your Kind, Very Flattering Visit, Amigo! Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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G'Mornin' Lady M, with the Sweetest of Names!
Hey, I'm glad ya liked it..Some I pen for the Sheer Fun of it, & your Backpat means Way More than a Million Bucks to me.
(Not that I couldn't Use the Million...soon-enuf..heh-heh!) ;-)>
Just Teasin'...Sincere Big Thanks for Your Kind Visit! Big Hugs, Stan
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