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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2003
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WARNING: Protest song I keep searching inside to write the ultimate protest song (among my stable). I just finished this one. Any comments welcome, whatsoever. However, I'd specifically like to know if you find this point of view okay. The song is unfolding as if a narrator or the character's conscience is recounting what is going on. I dunno if this works or not or if it's faulty writing or great or just what. Any comments on that are appreciated. This is another recording using my recent acquisition, a $99 guitar. I'm pleased with it! (This is just a rough, quick demo.) streaming audio / lyric.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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I like it. Reading the lyrics I thought is was too wordy but as soon as I heard the music that thought disappeared. As a Vietnam vet I can understand and sympathize with the message. The last two lines really got me:
What can you say as a friend pats your back tenderly Says Hold your head up, he died keeping all of us free
btw, $99 guitars are the best - I have two.
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I like it. Reading the lyrics I thought is was too wordy but as soon as I heard the music that thought disappeared. As a Vietnam vet I can understand and sympathize with the message. The last two lines really got me:
What can you say as a friend pats your back tenderly Says Hold your head up, he died keeping all of us free
btw, $99 guitars are the best - I have two. Bless you, my friend. Dan, my dad was a POW. This song... I have worried how vets would take it. I hope some more, like you, will embrace it.
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Hey Bill, So, I listened to the song and I have a few comments that I think may lend a hand. First, I loved the lyrics and the melody. You may want to add the word "had" in between "bastards" and "lied" to match the earlier lyrical rhythm. I'd also think about adding a bit to your chorus for people to join in and sing. After all, that's what protest songs are for...people like to join in and protest along with you. However, and don't take this the wrong way, I personally would like to sing songs of peace as a way to protest war instead of directly protesting. It's just my viewpoint even though so many of my friends have died or are now in wheel chairs from Viet Nam. But, your songwriting is wonderful and the guitar was perfect. People do like to vent and songs are a great vehicle for that. They are much more productive than other venting avenues. Take care.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Heidi, thank you for listening. Regarding your comment about peace songs, I understand... one could take that route. Be a John Denver. Or... be a Bob Dylan. I give you Masters Of War. I dunno, I'm just really pissed off. Maybe it's time for another Dylan rant. I despise this Bush guy so much, I can't even tell you... I despise him and all that he stands for. maybe it's beyond time to raise some hell. Back to your comment... thanks... I sang that line over and over and over and I kept coming back to it as sung in the demo you hear. What can I do? Chopping off a word here and there seems to work sometimes.
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Hey Bill, I thought it was pretty easy to say "bastards had lied" since there was a slight pause in between "bastards" and "lied" anyway. As for Bush, yes, he's scary. He won't make it another term.
I'm not saying that you should be a John Denver. I like Dylan more than Denver, although John wrote some amazing tunes. I'm just saying that anger begets anger sometimes. How can you channel your creative juices in the most productive manner? You obviously have talent. That's a given. You want to make a difference. That's obvious, too. If it were me, I'd take a look at the message that Wall brings....It's such a profound message of lives lost over communication done with weapons instead of sanity. Where anger lives, solid communication is exchanged in the form of bullets, knives, bombs, etc. But, where sanity lives, bright ideas, compromise and a concept of the greater good are apparent. Take care dear one. You will create a masterpiece soon. I can feel it.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Thank you all for feedback. I listened to Dylan's "Masters of War." It's a rant. Pure and simple. This had nothing to do with my song, I'm just making an observation about songs. That here is a masterpiece... and it's a rant. And a damn good one at that.
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Well, then...rant away! That's what freedom of speech (and song) is all about. You have a great start with your song. Give me something to sing with on the chorus so I can join in. Remember this song,"And it's one, two, three... What are we fightin' for. Don't ask me, I don't give a damn. Next stop is Viet Nam. And it's five, six, seven...open up the pearly gates. I ain't got time to wonder why. Whoopie, we're all gonna die!" I still remember that one. Now, get goin' on yours so I can sing along with Bill.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Joined: Oct 2006
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i liked this song...like the Johnny Cash overtones in the voice as well...the way thing are going we will need a lot more of these war (protest) songs...keep up the good work Duke. Terry Moore..
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Duke..The story of your song is very powerful. Your recording was very clean and the message can be heard without having to listen 10 times.I started listening to Woody Guthrie,Pete Seger,in 1964.Their freedom songs and war protest songs helped open our eyes to the truth behind war,poverty,racism,government,communism,and so on.Now we are faced with global warming,world hunger,countless wars..etc..etc. I think we need more songs like this Very well done Duke..Really enjoyed the listen Oh by the way I put you as friend on myspace.Really like that"Hank Hank Hank" RIKY
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