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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 32
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Hello all! I used to be on here a few years ago, but I don't have access to my old e-mail, so I just made a new account. Anyway. I'd like some constructive feedback on my song Memory Lane(For Review) posted on http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=684221 Thanks for your time and I look forward to the feedback!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1 |
Hey Bradley: Welcome back Loved the vibe on this. Cool lyrics in the verses - some nice images there (the fruit loops for instance). Liked the guitar part too. I know this is just a version for feedback - but when you do a final, I vote for more pronounced bass and drums In my opinion, you could make it stronger by re-working the lyric in the chorus. Right now, it seems to consist just of several disjointed phrases. Just one opinion - see what others think... Think you could get this to something really cool though... Scott
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 32
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Thanks a lot for the listen and the feedback! I'm going over the chorus right now trying to think of something different. Should I expand it out and add more words and more of a melody to it?
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2007
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Alright latest version is up. I upped the bass and drums, and changed the chorus, let me know if it's any better. I also changed some of the lead guitar up. How are the vocals? I've been listening to this song for 3 days now and can't tell anymore lol. I think my brain is hearing what I want it to instead of actually what it is. :-) Thanks for the help!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
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Bradley....The vocals are killing the song....not that they are bad....they sound like you are in a tunnel....maybe that's the effect you wanted?.....otherwise I like it ok.....Bob
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Lol, thanks for the feedback... Yeah it does sound like I'm in a tunnel! I'm just try to help mask the fact that I can't sing... I'll try taking some of the effect off. :-) Thank you for the critique, every little bit helps!
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Ok, latest version is up. I took the extra reverb off the vocals so it doesn't sound like i'm in a tunnel anymore. Please let me know if it helps. I think the vocals might be too high in the mix now. I've recorded 1.5GB of tracks so far now on this song, by far a record! lol.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
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Top 10 Poster
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Hi Bradley: Just listened to the latest version. Is a big improvement, in my opinion. I like the sound of your voice - I think it is suited to this type of song. At this point, the best feedback would come from someone who is more rock-oriented than I am. But I think you got it into a good position for that to happen.... Still like it Scott
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Thanks for listening again Scott. I have to EQ the crap out of my voice, it is so mid heavy and harsh, especially when I'm singing at the top of my range. I'm more of a baritone so I'm very limited in what I can do vocally, rock is kind of hard with a deeper voice. I might have to start playing folk or blues or something. :-).
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
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Bradley....The vocal sounds better on this version....I think you still may have to much reverb....your voice would be ok....just ease up on the verb alittle more....imho....
Maybe you could get someone with a "rougher" voice to sing it....otherwise it sounds ok to me musically....Bob
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,429
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Hi Bradley
I really like the music on this. You got a good sound out of the guitar. I think your vocals work well and with the effects it has an 80's sound.
I didn't hear the first version, but this one seems close to what you're going for.
Rick
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Thanks for the feedback! Are the vocals too loud? they seem so loud to me :-)
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 121
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 121 |
Hey bbc, had a suggestion for you, your vocals are sometimes flat pitchwise, try thinking 'up' when you sing it, that helps me whenever I feel like I'm flat. I liked the guitar work, though alternative is not really my genre, more into general rock/hard rock, so I can't really make any more recommendations, though it is kind of a catchy tune.
Mike
My name is Mike and I like to play guitar and I like to play the keys and I like to write music and I like to write long run-on sentences that use the word 'like' a lot! http://www.myspace.com/mikeredwine
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Thank you very much for the input... I'll try re-re-re-re-re-re recording the vocals :-) I really wish I could sing. Thanks again for the listen and the constructive comment.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 84
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Posts: 84 |
I think it's a good song definitely deserving a crack at improving the production in order to make sure everything comes together better. There's only one part of the song which throws me off: it's when the line "And I have been known to be wrong" is song. I know, I know, who am I to criticise... but as a listener, there's something that just doesn't work right there. I would target it 'cause I think the rest of the song's pretty good, but that one little bit is dragging it down some.
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Awesome, I'll see what I can come up with, thank you for the listen and the feed back, I'll post again when I have all the changes incorporated! Thank you for taking the time to help me out!
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Ok this IS the final version (unless someone can convince me otherwise) Honestly I'm just plain old tired of working on it lol... Thank you everyone who provided me with feedback! Please feel free to tell me what you think about the final version... Again thank you all for your time! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=684221
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 171
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 171 |
Just listened to your final version.Good song with a slightly punky/grungy feel...that's good, it works! Vocals maybe still a bit too far back in the mix.
Gerry
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 32
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Thanks Gerry! If enough people complain I'll up the vocals... I'm so sick of this song lol! It's weird I'm a perfectionist to a point... but past a certain amount of messing with something my apathy sets in, and I'm just like... "screw it... good enough for govt work."
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
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Hi Bradley! Nice to meet you! I signed on last summer, so I'm coming up on a year mark. I'm reading through the posts as I listen, so I see you've worked on this a lot. I'm chuckling to myself because a lot of my threads go like this. I re-re-re-re-re-do everything and then finally wind up the same as you: "PHOOOOEY!" It's a cool song. I like the sound of it. If you FEEL like working on it some more... your voice isn't so rotten as you seem to think it is. (Trust me, I wouldn't encourage you if it was otherwise! LOL) There are a few "off" notes here and there, but your voice ITSELF is not bad and is 90% on-key or more. Rock is darn hard to sing. (I figured that out... haha) SO... go ahead and take off the processing/EQ/compression or whatever and let it ride more "out" in the mix so we can all hear what you're singing. It's not anywhere near as scary as you're afraid it is! Trust me... I've heard scary... you're not it! Linda
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 32
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Thank you Linda! I may go back and work on it. Thanks for the encouragement! People tell me that I'm on key when I'm playing live, but when I'm recording something goes screwy... so I don't know what it is lol.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 119
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 119 |
hi bradley, very descriptive writing here. good job. only thing I would do is add a bridge. tell us the a maybe what if thouhgt. you had 3 verses at the beginning and you could take the best of what you want to say in 2. you do a very good job of getting us to visualize what you're saying. I liked the beat.
good job!!!!
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Thank you very much Janice, I appreciate the critique. When I come back to this song, I'll look into changing some of that stuff. See if I can get a bridge going Thank you again for taking the time to listen!
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Thank you Linda! I may go back and work on it. Thanks for the encouragement! People tell me that I'm on key when I'm playing live, but when I'm recording something goes screwy... so I don't know what it is lol. Hey Bradley, I may have that same problem! Either that, or people listening to me live are too tone-deaf to know where I went off??? Eeeeek. I'm not sure I want to know that, if that's it. Anyway, my empathies, my new friend. I think I've finally got everything spot-on and the first thing someone points out is a bad note somewhere.... ~sigh~ Linda
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Lol, maybe that is it :-) I hang out with tone-deaf people lol. I need new friends.
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