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#555385 - 11/03/07 09:36 PM Nella Notte  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
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Moorpark, CA USA
Hi, all. I haven't been too active, anywhere, lately. Life's been a little difficult.

I know it's a bit rude to ask for feedback, but I'm going to anyway, if you don't mind. Vikki (Hummingbird) and I have been working on a lyric of hers. She did a worktape of it just before she left on a trip to L.A. for the Taxi Road Rally. I'd love to hear what you think of it so far. It's just a rough demo at this point, so please excuse the mistakes in it. We're just looking for feedback on the combination of words and music.

It's intended to be a crossover classical song in the style of Andrea Bocelli, Josh Groban or Sarah Brightman.

You can find the sound file on soundclick here:

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5937063&q=hi

Here is the lyric:

Nella Notte (pop/classical)
a la Emily Bronte / Andrea Bocelli

(Verse 1)
Once lilac trees bloomed sweetly in the air
Every robin sang to me, and the moor was fair;
Fingers weaved with mine, passion cast its spell
Our souls were one-
Oh I knew it when you fell.

(Verse 2)
Now maple leaves are turning red and gold
As I walk along the sea, the salty air is cold;
Clouds are rolling in, bringing amber rain-
Without you, love
Evíry dull day feels the same.

(Chorus)
Nella notte cosi oscura
Nel mio sogno,
Ritrovo la primavera,
Vedo il sole, nel tuo viso
Nelle tue braccia
il mio cuore
Si consola, si consola
Quando sogno

(Bridge)
When the snow comes, Iíll look for you
Climbing high on the hill;
The cold west wind will breathe your name,
When all around me is frozen stillÖ

(Repeat Chorus)


© 2007 Vikki Flawith/James Mitchell


Rough translation of the chorus:

In the dark night
In my dreams I find the Spring again
I see the sun in your face
In your arms my heart is consoled, is consoled
When I dream.

Last edited by James B. Mitchell; 11/03/07 09:48 PM.

You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#555391 - 11/03/07 09:51 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,448
Eric Thome Offline
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Eric Thome  Offline
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Emotionville
James and Vikki

The words and music are beautiful.......The Italian chorus is nice, as they say the musical language....However, wouldn't the english be better.......I know Andrea Bocelli, Josh Groban do the language mix in many of their songs. Often though they do an english chorus too.....However, that's just me and may not be very important.

I really love this.

The end of the third line in the verses might go a little too high. I know you're trying to keep the melody in the verses from being to repetitious. Also just my opinion and I'm only thinking on screen here as I listen..

Great singing. Great work!


Eric


If you're going to judge someone, do it on the side of mercy.
#555407 - 11/03/07 10:32 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Eric Thome]  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
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Moorpark, CA USA
Hi, Eric. Thanks for the feedback! It might be worth giving it a try to come up with a translated chorus. I'll bring that up with Vikki.

I think it might sound a little high in that one section because Vikki was under the weather when she recorded this, but she's a trooper and pumped it out anyway so that we'd have a worktape.

Thanks again for taking a look and a listen. Much appreciated!

- James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#555409 - 11/03/07 10:47 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
Janice Hopkins Offline
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Janice Hopkins  Offline
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Michigan
Breathtakingly beautiful. I could hear it playing in a broadway show for sure. Sarah Brightman!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jan

#555422 - 11/03/07 11:18 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
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Moorpark, CA USA
Thanks, Jan! I'm about to take a look at "Three Little Things."

- James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#555425 - 11/03/07 11:25 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Kaley Willow Offline
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PA
Very Very beautiful!!....you two....James and Vikki.....

I loved the verses...and especially the last half of the chorus.... ....I pause mid way through the bridge....not sure the tempo change and slow up is working as effectively as it should???.....but that would be a good question also on the mp3 side of things.....too.

Nice to see you back James...

Hugs to you both.....
take care and Good Luck With This...!!!!

Kaley... smile

#555429 - 11/03/07 11:34 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Kaley Willow]  
Joined: Apr 2004
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James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
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Moorpark, CA USA
Hi, Kaley. Thanks for the feedback. (I'm going to be printing all this out and taking it to Vikki at the Road Rally.)

"I pause mid way through the bridge" -- can you explain that? Do you mean that you expect a pause there or that you stumbled over something in the middle of the bridge?

I'm not sure about the tempo changes, either, and I'm the one who proposed them. smile Sometimes they sound great to me and other times they sound cheesy. I think the problem is the fast verses, slow chorus, fast bridge, slow chorus. Otherwise, though, the bridge feels a little draggy.

Thanks for the specifics in the feedback. Very helpful! (And thanks for the welcome back.)

- James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#555439 - 11/03/07 11:46 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Kaley Willow Offline
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Posts: 10,240
PA
Hi James...Let me listen again...Something made ME pause in the bridge.... let me see if I can pinpoint it......and I
know I don't always hear and see things right....but I'll try.

best..
Kaley

Hi James and Vikki......back again...something between 2:15 - 2:20.....and again, it might just be me...you guys...

Lovely lovely piano...and Vocals...go without saying...
very pretty lyrics..too!

Last edited by Kaley Willow; 11/03/07 11:52 PM.
#555447 - 11/04/07 12:09 AM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
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Posts: 171
anne Offline
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anne  Offline
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I hope your melody is as lovely as your words.

It blew me away.

All the best Anne

#555449 - 11/04/07 12:11 AM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Kaley Willow]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,668
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Posts: 10,668
Very nice you two...and I like the language change....in fact, I kinda like music in other languages....one of my favourite bands in a French Canadian band from the seventies...Harmonium...great music, great words, even if I don't understand it all. smile


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#555518 - 11/04/07 03:18 AM Re: Nella Notte [Re: John Voorpostel]  
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 587
Ria Offline
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Posts: 587
Kingston, Jamaica
Hi James,

Great to see you on the boards again, I myself have only just returned here and I really have missed your honest in-depth critiques. I have actually had a couple of exchanges with Vikki on another forum and I asked after you and she told me that both of you would be at the Taxi Rally. It will be great to see you both.

I listened and I really like this song. The words are lovely and the melody particularly the chorus melody is beautiful. I did feel that maybe the verses were rushed a bit in places and there was a particular line that the breathing was at a strange place. I do recognize that you said Vikki wasn't at her best though.

All in all lovely song and I do see it being done by the aforementioned artists. I also really like the language change in the chorus, adds depth of song to me.

Cheers,

Rachel


http://www.broadjam.com/rachelkerr

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. ~Zachary Scott
#555618 - 11/04/07 02:19 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: anne]  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Moorpark, CA USA
Originally Posted by anne
I hope your melody is as lovely as your words.

It blew me away.

All the best Anne


Vikki will be very happy to hear that. The words are hers. smile

I don't know if you're able to click a link and play music on your computer, but there is a link in the first post that will play the recording for you.

- James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#555620 - 11/04/07 02:26 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Moorpark, CA USA
Hi, John. Thanks for the listen and the encouragement. I've always enjoyed listening to music in other languages, too. It's interesting what you pick up from intonation and expression even when you don't know what they're saying.

Hi, Ria. We'll keep an eye out for you at the Rally! Thanks for the comments on the possible rushing. It's something worth looking at. I'm hearing it in a very particular way and Vikki and I haven't had any face-to-face time to hash it out. I hope we'll get to sit down at a keyboard during the Rally and brainstorm. It may be that I'm "pushing the envelope" too far and not serving the words.

As for the breathing, I think that will be worked out. Vikki was really not up to her usual clear, sparkling sound when she recorded this. I have an earlier draft recording from her of the verses that is clear, smooth and without any breathing issues. She was a little concerned about posting this one but I promised to let everyone know that she was not in her usual voice when she sang it.

Then again, the rushing of the melody may need to get hammered out to make it work completely.

Thanks for the specific feedback. Looking forward to seeing you next week and hearing your latest creations.

- James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#612152 - 05/03/08 02:39 AM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,123
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,123
Indianapolis, IN USA
Anyone seen James? He hasn't posted this entire year?


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
jpfolkspro@gmail.com
Skype: Brian Austin Whitney
Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks

"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

"It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..."

[Linked Image]
#658527 - 10/09/08 07:08 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Brian Austin Whitney]  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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James B. Mitchell  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Moorpark, CA USA
Hi, Brian. I'm b-a-a-c-k. smile

Yes, it's been a difficult year, but JPF folks are no strangers to those. I'm jumping back in and trying to get started on lyric-writing again, and enjoying so much what I read here.

James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#658560 - 10/09/08 10:21 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Caroline Offline
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Caroline  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Texas
This is beautiful. The words, the music, absolutely beautiful.

Vikki is a wonderful writer (Hi Vikki, haven't seen you in a while) The two of you have written something wonderful.


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
#658579 - 10/09/08 11:35 PM Re: Nella Notte [Re: Caroline]  
Joined: Jul 2010
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Good Evening Bro James (& Mz Vikki, too!)

WOW...this is Proof-Positive ya don't have to Understand-It-All to appreciate True BEAUTY. Great Vocals/Piano/Arrangement.

Words? Guess I'll go back again & see what I just SO-Enjoyed was All-About...heh-heh!

"KUDOS" You Two-dos! Good to see ya Back Again!
Big Hugs, & Rose Bouquets,
Stan


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