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country ballad...

Tiny Little Voice

1.
If there were ever a time when I needed an answer
it'd be now
I've felt the sting of love but here I am again
somehow
I didn't feel it settle in my bones
fact I didn't even hear it cross my mind
but thismornin' when I woke up 's when I knew
that my feelin's 'bout me 'n' you were true
'n' what keeps tellin' me I'm makin' the right choice
is a Tiny Little Voice

2.
I should've seen the signs like my neverending smile
when you're around
when love is young and things have just begun
you're never down
I like the way you've been in my dreams
When I think about the way you kiss me it makes me wanna sing
and thismornin' when I woke up 's when I knew
that my feelin's 'bout me 'n' you were true
'n' what keeps tellin' me I'm makin' the right choice
is a Tiny Little Voice

Bridge:
Like I'm on a mountains peak, reachin' for a star,
somethin' this real might be hard
but when I feel my heart beatin' in the dark
and there's an achin' to be where you are
what keeps tellin' me I'm makin' the right choice
is a Tiny Little Voice

3.
What has happened in my life I wasn't
lookin' for
but I'm in Love with You I can't deny it
anymore
From hurt and fear this ol' heart o' mine was like a lump o'coal
but without a sound you broke down my self control
'n' thismornin' when I woke up 's when I knew
I'd be on my knee in front of you showin' that it's true
'n' what keeps tellin' me I'm makin' the right choice
is a Tiny Little Voice

Tag:
If there ever were a time when I needed an answer
it'd be now

(C)2007 Moker Jarrett/ASCAP
All Rights Reserved

Hi Moker,

It's a great title, however
Starting a line of with 'n seems a bit irritating for me,
You tell a lot without creating emotion .
I cant believe his heart would resemble a lump of coal, and then wake up with feelings , seems a bit too much of a transition,
If we knew that he'd been hurt before , that could be different.

If your lines told us why you feel this way about her, it would all sound much more real.

<I like the way> Et-cetera don't set up the line with emotion it's constant telling.

I know you can do better I like the variation of line length.

I think you are a talented writer, I have been lucky enough to hear your stuff, but this one needs a lot of work

Sincerely Matt

Matt,
fresh ink that I wanted to get down while I was on it...it will surely go through several rewrites, some with a lyric writer much better at that than I. I do appreciate the read and your comments. Moker

You're onto a great one, Moker. I've been trying to write country too. About this point, after the first pass is done, is when I end up seeing one of couchgrouches lyrics, and I despair. But after that, I find myself combing through the lyric and looking for opportunities to insert more solid images, paint more pictures, see if there are any ways to double the meaning of the hook...

Have you thought about either a tag or a last verse (maybe the last chorus) where it's much later, and this time that tiny voice is their child?

Lyle,
thanks buddy, I've already done some rewriting I haven't posted yet on this, but it was fresh and I wanted a little feedback, the kid thing is a good idea, my tag at the end implies that he has just gotten on his knee in front of her and is waiting on her answer. As we know,time will see how this works out...thanks for your input...Moker

I listen to country music every day,i can hear this one playing in my head. The only line that bothers me a bit is,"I like the way you've been in my dreams'

i think this would floe better, "I like the way that you look in my dreams".just my humble opinion,I hope that ok.All and all i think you have a real good country song here.

All the best Anne

I thought this had emotion..I thought this was well done...only 1 line did not work for mw...

From hurt and fear this ol' heart o' mine was like a lump o'coal) (cold stone)

IDK...for me lump of coal made it a christmas song and that does not match the rest...good job!!

anne,
I thought about using "starrin' in my dreams" there, a direct pilfer from Mick Jagger...ha...I will be rewriting this several rounds worth before it goes to demo if it lives that long, right now I'm diggin' the feel the music has with it, they are both simple and that's not always a bad thing..thanks, Moker

Hey Moker!

this is awesome! I love your hook! The best part to me is your bridge.

Charlann

Teddy Joe,
It's good to meet ya on here, and hey, thanks for takin' the time to read through this...I will consider the lump o' coal line as I go through my rewriting process. Mine don't just come out perfect like couch's...ha...I've got to shine and polish a lyric before I even consider going to demo with it...I'll post the music on the mp3 if it goes to demo, it moves a little slow, but I'm having a great time developing the melody...hanks again...Moker

I am not an avid listener of country music but I like your choice of words and your hookline.great song.

Charlann, How ya been doin? I've been chasin' my tail with computer crashes and gettin' 4 new demos and about 6 songs in write progress, constant pitching, etc+ the friggin' holidays...ha...I'm diggin' this song but the part you like(the bridge) is what I'm struggling to get as good as the rest of it right now musically. That feels wierd too, cos I'm usually a bridge guy, but it's only been written for a couple of days and I'll get it tweaked out...it just kinda moves along slowly with a nice melody and pulls you in...thanks for the comment...Moker

Nightingale, just to think that someone who lives as far away as you do is checking out something I'm in the process of writing is way cool to me...the fact that you like it and aren't even a country fan is a bonus. Thanks for stopping in and commenting...and happy holidays to you and yours...Moker

I know what ya mean about couch...the guy is a writer on STEROIDS...doesn't have much to say but lets his lyrics tell everything he needs to say with them!!..I wonder how many songs he has?!!...I have to write then rewrite...throw it away ..write ...ask for help...rewrite ..then it might look a little like a song...you are much further along the curve than me...good job!!

HI Moker

I want to get my word clippers out, so for what it's worth, here's a start. (yours comes out feeling a bit convoluted the way it is written).

There wAS a time I needed an answer
Then felt the sting of love
AND here I am again somehow
Didn't feel it settle in my bones
OR cross my mind
but this mornin'
when I woke up 's when I knew
that my feelin's 'bout me 'n' you were true
'n' what keeps tellin' me I'm makin' the right choice
is a Tiny Little Voice

Happy Holidays

jm

Teddy, I'm searchin' for the straight roads , to hell with the curves...thx...MJ

JM,
Keep the clippers handy, but you'll understand once I get the music posted for this, and I'm sure you can relate to a lyric that welds with it's music...thanks...Moker

Hi Moker,

This is real nice !

Like I'm on a mountains peak, reachin' for a star,
somethin' this real might be hard
but when I feel my heart beatin' in the dark
and there's an achin' to be where you are


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Cal,
Glad you liked it,thanks...enjoy the season...MJ