10 members (couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill),
4,251
guests, and
265
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6814730I wrote the lyric last year for my daughter's birthday and got some help over on the lyric forum. She recently asked if I would put music to it - so here's a stab. Even though it's personal - comments and critiques ARE welcome. Thanks in advance. Bramble In The Wind © joice marie I loved your beauty as a baby Your soul was golden as a child A lasting treasure With no Earthly measure Your spirit divine Deep and wild Now I must let you go To be blown as a bramble in the wind Lesson and choices hard as rock The voice of reason mute to deaf ears No longer helpful My heart is doubtful Our future will be without tears Now I must let you go To be blown as a bramble in the wind I will love you forever dear You are partly me inside and out I will never Fail my endeavor To listen and care In rain or drought Now it pains, I'll let you go To be blown as a bramble in the wind Now it pains, I'll let you go To be blown as a bramble in the wind Sometimes a free fall Is the only way We learn to stand tall Now I must let you go To be blown as a bramble in the wind
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Hi Joice,
Nice tribute from a parent to her child. Nice song. I like the harmonies.
Steve
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1 |
Hey Joice: As a personal song to your daughter, this works very well. I'm not a parent but I can imagine what it must be like when you have to let your child go and face the world on her own two feet.....and it feels much like your song Putting the personal aspect aside and commenting on it strictly as a song, I'm curious about your choice of "bramble". I thought I knew what it meant but looked it up to make sure. If you are using it purposefully (and, knowing you, I have to think that you are) it's inspired! But I wonder if the verses could/should point to that aspect a little more directly? Very nice writing and singing here! Scott
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Scott ! Thanks for you comments and really 'getting' the song.... IIt was written to say exactly what I wanted my daughter to hear and not as much to make a market song as you picked up on. Yes, the bramble was very deliberate. I do see what you say in terms of the verses and yes- now that there's music - I will explore yet another spin on it. There's one other already with 'blossom' instead of brambles for those 'sweet' Ones. Ha. Thanks for the encouragement. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Good Evening Calvin Thanks for stopping in and your kindness. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Hi Joice Marie,
So glad you're posting again. This is so special, and to have your daughter request that it be put to music must be a thrill for you. So poetic, and your voice, so well suited to it. I especially like, "Sometimes a free fall Is the only way We learn to stand tall"
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941 Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941 Likes: 3 |
Haven't heard one of your songs in awhile -- this one shows off your talents pretty well. Nice song for your daughter. This sounds like a great "live" song. Enjoyed it.
Kevin
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Ricki Thanks for listening and your comments. Yes - I was almost startled and flattered too when she asked for the music. I put my engineer hat on last night to try to fix a bump in the recording and I think it is better. I'm going to send her a copy today so I hope that she will like it. She likes some pretty power house vocalists so I'm not quite in that league, but I hope that she'll enjoy it anyway. I like the bridge best too. Thanks a bunch for you time. ! jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Kaley Your comments are very much appreciated. Being mom is not always easy and I know that you understand. Nice to hear a great melody maker liking what I have done. Some high praise that I really appreciate. Big hugs at you! jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Kevin Thanks for your visit and comments. Yeah it's not too complicated on chords so I might be able to pull it off live with a bit more practice. Have a nice day. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,195 Likes: 1
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,195 Likes: 1 |
I like it. Nice feeling to the song.
Tom
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,037 Likes: 1
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,037 Likes: 1 |
Hi Joyce Marie - What a wonderful everlasting gift for both you and your daughter. It sure is hard to let them go I too really enjoyed your bridge!!! All the best Joanne
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Tom Thanks! I'm glad it gives yu a 'good' feeling. That's nice. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Joanne Thanks for the listen and comments. You are an inspiration to me as I see you grow in your performing art. Thanks so much. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,347
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,347 |
Whoa, your lines,
"Sometimes a free fall Is the only way We learn to stand tall"
affected me strongly, very insightful and said so very simply.
Couple of things I feel (JMHO of course!) -
1. some of the words didn't sound quite "conversational" to me (yeah, I know it's a personal song, just saying...!)
2. Alyssa Moreno (who wrote "every Day" by Rascal Flatts, and a couple of other songs like "Far From Here" for the TV show "Army Wives") was one of the session advisors at the four-day Kauai Music Festival songwriting seminar we recently had at the beginning of the month, and I recall she commented that "tag songs", or those with a one-or-two line hook rather than a full repeating chorus are a "hard sell". But again I know this is a personal song to a family member. I'm just bursting with enthusiasm and inspiration from attending the danged seminar.
But again that "free fall" verse - man, wish I'd wrote that...
Best Regards and Aloha,
Charlie
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Charlie Thanks for stopping in to listen on this and your feedback! Glad you found the bridge strong. Yes your notes are take well and as I move along with this song I may do another write based on the helpful comments. As a personal piece it has found its place in my life so I am happy with that for now. Thanks a bunch! jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,507
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,507 |
although this is personal it is something most parents can relate to...do we ever feel they are ready to be released into the world? well, maybe later, but not at the time they are ready to spread their wings...ha...nice work JM...your voice is a signature part of your music and conveys the emotions in the lyrics nicely...be well...moker
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,065
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,065 |
Nice tribute song,liked the line" your soul was golden as a child"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798 |
overall good tune but I was very struck by the lyrics in the chorus:
>Now I must let you go >To be blown as a bramble in the wind
that's fantastic.
..ant
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,904
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,904 |
Joice, I can certainly relate to this as a parent. Our only child/son left the nest 7 years ago and is now in England . It is so hard to let them go, but necessary. Your philosophical stance and poetry are lovely and I can see why your daughter asked you to turn it into a song. Your vocal is beautiful and I especially love the harmonies. Clint
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Moker Glad that as a parent you can relate. I often think of my mom in retrospect, the things she endured and it gives me strength. Thanks for your time and comments. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Michael Thank you so much for tuning in here. You should know that I have found a lot of peace listening to your cd. I hope that you sell lots of them. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Ant !! I was thinking, just today that you had not shared anything new with us in a while, so I'm happy to see your name here. Thanks a lot for your time and comments. I hope all is well with you. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Clint Your comments are sure pleasing to hear. Thanks so much for them !... I'm hoping my daughter likes the music as much too. Must be hard with your son so far. Best to you and your family.... now wait, is the child in your pic a grand baby? It's a real nice shot, in any event. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997 |
As usual your work is always Unique! I love that about you. Nice job all around I would only suggest a fix on the chorus vocal harmony parts. Good to have you back
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Mike Thanks for the unique and nice job.... As far as the recording I'll look closely at that, but if I go back to do the harmonies over, it's very likely I'll want to revisit the whole thing... I did not give myself much time to perfect any of it. I just wanted to get something down to send off to my daughter while it was fresh on her mind.... So when I get a chance I WIll do some more with this. Thank you for your ears. jm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 737
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 737 |
Nicely done...hope she enjoys having this done for her...way to go mom!!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
|
OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Hi Ted Thanks you so much. Yes I hope she does too. Have a nice day jm
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|