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Joined: Sep 2004
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http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: May 2001
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Hi Louis,
My only nit is that I expect to hear an end rhyme with "Row" in the chorus and you ended the fourth line with "believe." It's not that it necessarily has to have the rhyme there but it stuck out to my ears to not hear it, if that makes sense. You may even be thinking "Watch someone complain about the rhyme scheme, haha". Good message as usual. Always love your songs.
Steve
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Yeah watch somebody complain about the rhyme scheme, lol, Thanks Steve
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
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Your song shows lots of conviction. Nice work.
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Hey thanks Jim
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
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Louis,
You're really on a roll! The drought is over, I think.
Another super song from ya! I'm willing to bet this story is true more often than some of us might realize. Nice job!
Alan
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Thanks Al, yeah unfortunately it probably is too true..
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 622
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Louis,
Wow! You sure can turn them out!! What great work. This one does stir emotion and makes you realize that there are a lot of lost souls out there, crying out for salvation.
Really nice job Louis, Gail
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
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It's a good one - got some power to it. Agree with Steve on the rhyme (big surprise, huh)? Maybe replace "waiting my turn on the row" with something like "on the row with no hope of reprieve" ? Only you and Johnny sing for these folks! Scott
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Thanks Gail Scott, can you say reprieve in a country song? lol
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,711 Likes: 18
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Hi Louis, One of the things I love about your writing is you can get into a character's head, and find the crux of their humanity, in there; then like some local Prometheus, bring him to us, to life, and maybe we listeners come away a little more compassionate towards others less fortunate. This is written very well. You keep the lyric focused, and steer away from whatever crime he may have committed, that would be a mistake, I think. "Too many Golden Rules" may need re-thinking, even though the "death row singer" is just making a tiny joke there, I think, and I personally like the line. Nice work Louis, Steve Earle would really like this one, it's a pet subject of his. Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/04/09 06:58 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Thanks Mike, I'll google prometheus and see what it is, lol.. Yeah the inmate didn't pay much attention to how many golden rules they're are, probably what got him locked up
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Thanks Mike, I'll google prometheus and see what it is, lol.. Yeah the inmate didn't pay much attention to how many golden rules they're are, probably what got him locked up Just in case reading about him confuses you as to what I meant there, it was his "stealing fire from the gods" and giving it to humans...that I was referring to... Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/04/09 08:00 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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lol, yeah I was hoping you meant that part
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Ok, went back and put some rhyme in the chorus using Scott's suggestion.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,409
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Louis,
I keep waiting for you to post a song that I don't like...and waiting....and waiting.... and waiting.....
Lol
Beautiful
Letha
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Letha, won't be long now, thanks
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 3,065
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You need a video ...your songs have such great story lines
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Thanks Michael, good to see ya
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
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