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#716776 - 05/03/09 03:51 PM All I Can Do  
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Louis Offline
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Louis  Offline
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Home of the Crimson Tide


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#716790 - 05/03/09 04:18 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Little_stevie_b Offline
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Hi Louis,

My only nit is that I expect to hear an end rhyme with "Row" in the chorus and you ended the fourth line with "believe." It's not that it necessarily has to have the rhyme there but it stuck out to my ears to not hear it, if that makes sense. You may even be thinking "Watch someone complain about the rhyme scheme, haha". Good message as usual. Always love your songs.

Steve

#716800 - 05/03/09 05:16 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
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Louis Offline
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Yeah watch somebody complain about the rhyme scheme, lol, Thanks Steve smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#716801 - 05/03/09 05:18 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Jim Colyer Offline
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Your song shows lots of conviction. Nice work.

#716829 - 05/03/09 07:29 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Jim Colyer]  
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Louis Offline
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Hey thanks Jim smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#716834 - 05/03/09 07:34 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Two Singers Online content
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Louis,

You're really on a roll! The drought is over, I think.

Another super song from ya! I'm willing to bet this story is true more often than some of us might realize. Nice job!

Alan

#716845 - 05/03/09 07:45 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Two Singers]  
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Louis Offline
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Thanks Al, yeah unfortunately it probably is too true..


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#716895 - 05/03/09 10:13 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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CG King Offline
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CG King  Offline
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Nashville

Louis,

Wow! You sure can turn them out!! What great work. This one does stir emotion and makes you realize that there are a lot of lost souls out there, crying out for salvation.

Really nice job Louis,
Gail












#716973 - 05/04/09 02:36 AM Re: All I Can Do [Re: CG King]  
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It's a good one - got some power to it.

Agree with Steve on the rhyme (big surprise, huh)? smile

Maybe replace "waiting my turn on the row" with something like "on the row with no hope of reprieve" ?

Only you and Johnny sing for these folks!

Scott

#717031 - 05/04/09 09:03 AM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Louis Offline
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Thanks Gail smile

Scott, can you say reprieve in a country song? lol


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#717148 - 05/04/09 06:10 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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California
Hi Louis,

One of the things I love about your writing is you can get into a character's head, and find the crux of their humanity, in there; then like some local Prometheus, bring him to us, to life, and maybe we listeners come away a little more compassionate towards others less fortunate.

This is written very well. You keep the lyric focused, and steer away from whatever crime he may have committed, that would be a mistake, I think. "Too many Golden Rules" may need re-thinking, even though the "death row singer" is just making a tiny joke there, I think, and I personally like the line.

Nice work Louis, Steve Earle would really like this one, it's a pet subject of his. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/04/09 06:58 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#717164 - 05/04/09 07:48 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Louis Offline
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Thanks Mike, I'll google prometheus and see what it is, lol.. Yeah the inmate didn't pay much attention to how many golden rules they're are, probably what got him locked up smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#717168 - 05/04/09 07:59 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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California
Originally Posted by Louis
Thanks Mike, I'll google prometheus and see what it is, lol.. Yeah the inmate didn't pay much attention to how many golden rules they're are, probably what got him locked up smile



Just in case reading about him confuses you as to what I meant there, it was his "stealing fire from the gods" and giving it to humans...that I was referring to... smile smile

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/04/09 08:00 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#717170 - 05/04/09 08:06 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Louis Offline
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lol, yeah I was hoping you meant that part smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#717193 - 05/04/09 09:30 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Louis Offline
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Louis  Offline
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Ok, went back and put some rhyme in the chorus using Scott's suggestion. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#717211 - 05/04/09 10:15 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Letha Allen Offline
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Letha Allen  Offline
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Michigan
Louis,

I keep waiting for you to post a song that I don't like...and waiting....and waiting.... and waiting.....


Lol

Beautiful

Letha

#717377 - 05/05/09 09:07 AM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Letha Allen]  
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Louis Offline
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Louis  Offline
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Letha, won't be long now, smile thanks


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#719061 - 05/10/09 04:17 AM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Louis]  
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Michael James Moore Offline
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Michael James Moore  Offline
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oceanside,CA,USA
You need a video ...your songs have such great story lines

#719147 - 05/10/09 02:09 PM Re: All I Can Do [Re: Michael James Moore]  
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Louis Offline
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Louis  Offline
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Thanks Michael, good to see ya smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau

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