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#746450 08/20/09 04:56 PM
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Hello my friends,

Please lend me your ears for a few moments and be so kind as to point out any bumps, lumps, weakspots.

The chorus is giving me fits, btw.

I am trying to channel the Boom Chicka of Cash, Tweedy's 90's droll all in Ryan Adam's register.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7998287

Copywright Timothy M Pratt

"to Chicago"

Winds blow behind me
Night train to you
Lonely bench where I lay
Rolls to
My only home

The Erie Lackawanna
Knows where she needs to go
Rumble of her engines
Flow through
Tracks below

I wanna go home
I wanna go home
To Chicago
To Chicago

Many miles between us
Happy to see you soon
Smell the diesel burnin’
I dream
Of you

Morning comes to the city
Orange light turns to blue
Trains runnin on time
I’ll
Be early too.
(Repeat chorus)

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Originally Posted by TimothyPratt
Hello my friends,

Please lend me your ears for a few moments and be so kind as to point out any bumps, lumps, weakspots.

The chorus is giving me fits, btw.

I am trying to channel the Boom Chicka of Cash, Tweedy's 90's droll all in Ryan Adam's register.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7998287

Copywright Timothy M Pratt

"to Chicago"

Winds blow behind me
Night train to you
Lonely bench where I lay
Rolls to- I like the verse alot, but maybe consider not holding on this note as well as the other third linesMy only home

The Erie Lackawanna
Knows where she needs to go
Rumble of her engines
Flow through
Tracks below

I wanna go home
I wanna go home
To Chicago
To Chicago
Perhaps say to chicago one more time, or change it in the last line to Chi-Town? just an idea
Many miles between us
Happy to see you soon
Smell the diesel burnin’
I dream
Of you

Morning comes to the city
Orange light turns to blue
Trains runnin on time
I’ll
Be early too.
(Repeat chorus)

I like the sound of this except maybe pronounce or innuctuate a bit more, so I can pick up the words better, other than that, very nice indeed.:) (spelling is wrong I am certain on the innuctuate, but I guess you understand my meaning:))


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you so much for your immediate reply!!!

I think I know why I got booted from American Idol now, lol! smile

Seriously, I agree that it needs a stronger vocal on the demo than the reference one here.

Thanks!!
Tim

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I've listened to this more and took a break. I think its a classic case of it sounds like a cool guitar lick but its out of a good key for me to sing in.

I'll try it again in the right key tomorrow, the results should be better.

Last edited by TimothyPratt; 08/21/09 03:49 AM.
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Take 3

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8006192

I think this is done with this until it gets a more professional recording. Please let me know what you think.

To Chicago

Many miles between us
Happy to see you soon
Smell the diesel burnin’
I dream of you

Cool wind behind me
Night train to you
Lonely bench where I lay
Rolls to my home

I wanna go (x2)
To Chicago (x3)

Erie Lackawanna
Knows where to go
Rumble of her engine
Flows through tracks below

Morning comes to Chicago
Orange light turns to blue
Trains run on time
I’ll be early too.
(chorus)

Last edited by TimothyPratt; 08/22/09 08:03 PM.
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Timothy, I like the changes you made, and where hold the note now seems better suited. I like the addition of the line to Chicago a third time. nice job!
Kim:)


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I felt that you really helped this song flow a lot better!!! I must have written 10 pages of lyrics and ideas about taking a train to Chicago, and it has been finally distilled to this.
Its been a great learning experience!!!

Joined: Dec 2008
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K
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K
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Hi Timothy,

I think you did a good job on capturing the emotions when sitting on a train back home on this. The small guitar riff before the chorus supports that train idea very well.. IMO

Everything sounds good with pro arrangement and singers, and Im not sure this is quite there yet, but you're on your way.

Keep the music flowing!

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Hi Timothy,

Nice to meet you & welcome to JPF.
Listened to the first one and liked it ok, my only nit was gonna be...add the word HOME to the chorus

I wanna go home
I wanna go home
(HOME)To Chicago
(HOME)To Chicago

but.....after hearing what you've did in take 3, I like what you finally ended up with.
Thanks for sharing your talents.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart



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Thanks Guys!

For me its all about the song and getting the feeling across. I know what my limitations are as a "performance artist." I know there are many smile I'm really happy that you can feel what I am trying to do.

As far as the production goes, you mean to tell me that my $20 logitech mic and shareware mp3 recording is'nt cutting it? LOL!! smile

Hopefully as I go forward writing and building a catalog I can get my stuff produced and sounding awesome. But as you all know the song has to have good bones and some emotional resonance and saleablity before the big $$ are spent.

Thank you for taking the time to listen and your feedback!!!!

Tim

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Some times I think that I can conquer the world with an open E tuning on the guitar with a capo on the second fret.

smile

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Hi Timothy

Welcome to jpf

Nice song
I'm not sure , but it sounds like you are recording guitar and voc with one mic... If you can do them separately, you might get a better sound with volume adjustments.
the second recording is far superior, though - I like what you are doing on guitar. : ) jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

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Thank you for the kind words!

I understand what you are saying about the production. My thing is to get the song out there, make sure that it flows and smooth. Right now I have $20 external computer mic and shareware mp2 1/2 (cant afford an mp3, lol) recorder. I wanna make sure my stuff is decent before I make a big investment.

Thanks!
Tim


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