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#823272 06/07/10 04:18 PM
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Ellen M Offline OP
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Hi Y'all,

Here's another one of my songs that I've dressed up a little....and SPED UP......good golly, can I ever do some SLOOOOW songs! You'd think that I needed to add a big ol' cymbal crash at the end of some of 'em just to make make sure folks woke up before they fell asleep at the wheel or in their coffee cup.

.....and after a previous comment, I've redone the harmonica track. Yes, it was a bit shrill in places.....


http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9251108

SAD LITTLE NEST

I.

What do I lose and what do I gain

in living with you and living in pain

Sad mama, my mama, my baby she says

and I fight back the tears

but they’re winning they’re flowing

they flow down my sad cheeks

and down my sad breasts

and drop to the floor of my sad little nest


II.

no peace, no rest in the house by the marsh

‘cause a heart that’s this heavy is a burden to carry

it anchors my spirit to the depths of my soul

and I fight back the tears

but they’re winning, I’m drowning

in the tears on my cheeks

that flow down my sad breasts

and drop of the floor of my sad little nest….

in the tears on my cheeks that flow down my sad breasts

and drop to the floor of my sad little nest

Fly, let me fly…far away from here

fly, let me fly……….. far away from here



Last edited by Ellen M; 06/10/10 01:21 PM.
Ellen M #823280 06/07/10 05:02 PM
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Ellen,

Very pretty song. It's a simple melody with just enough accents to make it interesting. Vocals were a perfect fit!

Tom W.

Tom W. #823291 06/07/10 05:52 PM
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Ellen....I know you posted this before....what a great vocal you put to this song....nice musical touch also....way to go....Bob

Ellen M #823302 06/07/10 06:19 PM
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Ellen. This is really good. I'd love to hear it if you performed it more up tempo. I think it would really make it swing and not take away from the mood. Great job. Love your voice and the atmosphere it helps create for the song.

Stevie


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Ellen:
Very beutiful song and beutifully sung.

I never heard the first so if this is speeded up how slow was the first...

And I didn't fall asleep...

Loved it

God Bless Roy and Helen


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Hi Ellen,

Great movement in the melody and I love all those musical embellishments you added. Really enjoyed my listen. Must have been REALLY slow before you sped it up.

Rick

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Ellen M Offline OP
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Hi Everybody,

I listened to this again this mornin'....and called upon my natural hyperactive self to whack out a sped up version. I'm gettin' there! Please stay awake if you're driving!

Thanks to y'all who have suffered through the previous takes and left me comments. Yer Too kind!

yerz, Ellen

Ellen M #823511 06/08/10 02:19 PM
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Hi Ellen

I love you adds here - really good progress !
jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

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Hi Ellen,


You always put your heart into your lyrics...and your vocal performance...and it shows.

Very pretty song. Great touches.


Kind wishes,
Gail













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Ellen M Offline OP
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Hi Again,

Originally Posted by Tom W.
Ellen,

Very pretty song. It's a simple melody with just enough accents to make it interesting. Vocals were a perfect fit!

Tom W.


Thanks, Tom, I'm new to the world of multi-tracking....finding that less IS more.

Originally Posted by Robert Pickens
Ellen....I know you posted this before....what a great vocal you put to this song....nice musical touch also....way to go....Bob


Thankyew, Mr. Bob...you remember the original post, eh? Good Golly, was I a Slowsky or what? Thanks for your sweet words.

Ellen M #823638 06/08/10 09:03 PM
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Hi Ellen,

YOU ROCK

great ending too !
very emotional.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #823665 06/08/10 10:41 PM
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Hi Ellen,

I think it's a really pretty song. The banjo adds a nice folky sound to it and so does the harmonica but the harmonica can be a bit shrill at times. In my opinion it's just begging for a low end. Maybe a low piano chord during the banjo part.

The lyrics were good but there were a few lines that seemed a bit cliched. "Living in pain..." and "fly away from here..." just seem like things I've heard a lot before. But on the other hand "They're winning, I'm drowning" is a very very good line. I enjoyed that a lot. It's very poetic.

I think if you changed the tamber of your voice every now and then, maybe drop down to just your voice and one instrument (i'd suggest banjo) during the first part of the last chorus or the ending. It adds a lot to the production.

I think it's a good bluesy folk song, I just think it needs a lot of production. maybe some vocal harmonies, some piano, some accordion, etc. It could really make the track pop. And I know this sounds harsh, but some of the lyrics need some p'zaz to them.

Hope I could help,
Jeremiah Matthews

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Ellen M Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Little_stevie_b
Ellen. This is really good. I'd love to hear it if you performed it more up tempo. I think it would really make it swing and not take away from the mood. Great job. Love your voice and the atmosphere it helps create for the song.

Stevie


Thanks for listenin', Stevie.....I took yer advice and did it a tad faster. Thanks for the kind words about my voice!

Thanks to you too, Roy! I shaved off close to a whole minute in this version! Maybe I'm the one who fell asleep....while I was recording it!

Ellen M #823836 06/09/10 06:15 PM
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Hey Ellen, great voice and delivery to match, a sad song
with emotion, you could add to it by way of keys
strings, backing vocals to add even more emotional power
but I like it as is and sometimes less is more, a real
good song,

Tony.

Tony A #823848 06/09/10 07:46 PM
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Ellen!

LOVE THIS and I love your lyrics and voice, what a great song!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




Ellen M #823862 06/09/10 08:50 PM
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Hey Miss Ellen,

So nice to see you!

I must confess...my delay in returning to this song was that it overwhelmed me with emotion the first time around cry . I had to pick a time when I knew I'd have some privacy to listen...and as expected, the tears started to flow again! Right down my sad ________________(fill in the blank -- lol).

Really, this is sooooo gorgeous. Your vocal literally aches with pain.

Thanks for sharing this spiffed-up version Ellen. SO glad I had the fortitude to come back for it smile ....

Take care!
Beth

P.S. Again, another BIRD song -- what is going ON around here crazy !!??


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

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Hi Ellen,

Really fine job with this song. The little touches of banjo & harp are just enough to dress it up. I thought the tempo was good. It's not the type of song I'd want my toes tapping along to but any slower and it would drag. You did good.

Ricki

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Ellen M Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Rick Norton
Hi Ellen,

Great movement in the melody and I love all those musical embellishments you added. Really enjoyed my listen. Must have been REALLY slow before you sped it up.

Rick
Thanks Rick! I took quite a bit offa the other version...was listenin' to it in my truck and was shocked at how slow it sounded. And now that I can multi-track, I can dress 'em up a lil' bit too!

Originally Posted by Joice Marie
Hi Ellen

I love you adds here - really good progress !
jm
It's been a challenge to add the "extras" without mucking the whole thing up...glad it's coming across well. Thanks, Joice!


And big thanks to you too, Gail, for your very gracious words about my song! Glad you hear my heart in my music!

time for bed........
goodnight all
yerz, Ellen

Calvin #824007 06/10/10 01:25 PM
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Good Mornin',

Originally Posted by Calvin
Hi Ellen,

YOU ROCK

great ending too !
very emotional.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


Yer tha BOMB and I ROCK....I like it Calvin! I downloaded yer "Have Some Fun".....still grinnin' over that one!

Ellen M #824024 06/10/10 02:13 PM
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Ellen , I am a new fan :-) This is fab . I really enjoyed the song and perforamance .
Keep up the good work !!

All the best
Jan


"You have to react to what's around you in the moment, whatever the music is.
Just think of it as some place you have to enter and you need to find the key."

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Ellen,

Wow, very haunting...love it! Music is great, love the banjo...unusual for this type of song...Vocals and lyrics...again haunting...

tom

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Ellen M Offline OP
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Off from work now....

Hi Jeremiah, nice to meet ya! Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. I re-recorded the harmonica...you were right, it was a bit shrill. Thanks for letting me know how it came across. I would love to add more production but I'm limited to my own instruments and my new found ability to do multiple tracks with 'em.

Hi Tony A, way across the pond,
Thanks for stoppin' by and givin' me a listen. Sometimes I want to add lots of instruments and production...then I listen to someone like Ray Lamontagne and I go with the "less is more" approach. Glad ya liked it!

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Good Mornin',

Originally Posted by TamsNumber4
Ellen!

LOVE THIS and I love your lyrics and voice, what a great song!!

Tammy

Thanks, Tammy! And here's hoping you get your chance to pair your lovely vocals with some backup!


Miss Beth! So good to hear from you! You were one of the first people to welcome me to JPF. Thank you so much for revisiting this sad song of mine...and giving it such a beautiful review. I've been working hard at "spiffing up" my songs...now that I can add additional tracks. Glad to know I'm on the right track with my spiffin'!

Ellen M #824210 06/11/10 03:05 PM
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Excellent work Ellen! Love the lyrics and your production captures it perfectly.

Your bluesy vocal is impressive.

Best, John smile

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Hi Ellen,

Basically I really love this tune. It's very haunting.

I don't really have any nits, but I do have a couple of things to suggest if you ever re-record this.

If I was producing you, I'd have you sing the first half of the verses VERY restrained and quiet and intense. I don't know if it'd work, but your vocal might be a bit heavy and a lighter vocal might work... especially for the first parts of the verses.

I love the image of the tears flowing off your breasts but I can't help but wonder if it might stronger if you didn't say 'sad' breasts. Sad cheeks and sad nest is great, but breasts aren't usually 'sad' and I think it might be stronger just to have the image "tears... that flow down my breasts"

Anyway, it's really strong. Your vocal is great and the overall impression of this is stirring. I love the banjo. The above 2 suggestions are only suggestions... something to try. Your original might be the best in both cases.

Cool tune,

Peace,

Ian


Soundclick http://www.soundclick.com/ianferrin
Soundclick2 http://www.soundclick.com/ianferrininstrumentals

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more thanks to post,

Ricki, thank you for your good words....I worked really hard on getting a good tempo and making the banjo and harp fit in!


Originally Posted by Jan Petter
Ellen , I am a new fan :-) This is fab . I really enjoyed the song and perforamance
Wow, Jan...I'm really awed by your comment!


Thanks for stoppin' by ,Tom and giving my song a listen. "Haunting" is effect I was going for with this version...glad you heard that!

Ellen M #824640 06/14/10 09:17 AM
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Hi Ellen

Golly gosh, this is a sad song.

Ellen, I feel the lyrics aren't just quiet right, to many "and" for me, and the "Sad Breast" didn't work well for me either.

Hmm, sorry hey, I think I'm way too tired sleep to really have a look at this, if I get some time, I will come back tomorrow when I'm not so tired.

Ellen, you sing it so well, the music is fine too, smile I will sleep on it seeing the melody, and your lovely voice is stuck in my head. grin

Hugs Michele



What do I lose (and) what do I gain

in living with you (and) living in pain

Sad mama, my mama, my baby she says

(and) I fight back the tears (Fighting back tears) maybe

but they’re winning they’re flowing

they flow down my sad cheeks (All down my cheeks)

(and) down my (sad breasts)

(and) drop to the floor of my sad little nest


II.

no peace, no rest in the house by the marsh

‘cause a heart that’s this heavy is a burden to carry

it anchors my spirit to the depths of my soul

and I fight back the tears

but they’re winning, I’m drowning

in the tears on my cheeks

that flow down my sad breasts

and drop of the floor of my sad little nest….

in the tears on my cheeks that flow down my sad breasts

and drop to the floor of my sad little nest

Fly, let me fly…far away from here

fly, let me fly……….. far away from here



Last edited by Michele Bolton; 06/14/10 09:20 AM.
Ellen M #826042 06/19/10 09:30 PM
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Hi Ellen,

This sits inside an emotion and tugs at the heart...I like how you sing the words and express those feelings...then the ending releases it!

Nicely done!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hi Kristi,

Thank you so much for givin' me a listen...yer comment is music to my ears!

yerz, Ellen


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Jan 25th, 2020
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"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
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