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Joined: Dec 2008
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This is another of my "failed" Tom Petty writes. It didn't end up sounding right, so I just went with what the song wanted, and this is how it ended up. Scratch vocal, first mix. All kinds of critiques welcome.. Halfway http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9394113© 2010 Magne Kolstad HalfwayWhen love comes along And changes it all You're about to lose your calm But she's gonna leave you If you don't hurry on An' cut right to the bone Sometimes it's hard To know what do do Cause your analysis may be true But then you will lose her And still be a fool No way out to stay cool Seems like a loosing game That you can't understand What kind of love wants to change a man From one who's full, to one who's half Why want more of what you don't have There's no hear, there's no say The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY You say you're sorry It was a mistake She may forgive you If you show repent You'll get her flowers And plea for a date It's not complicated Your only chance to win Is to trade yourself in, but What kind of love wants to change a man From one who's full, to one who's half Why want more of what you don't have There's no hear, there's no say The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY It's a fight with your mind You can feel it You can see her Here comes second sight Now you know it Oh you need her What kind of love wants to change a man From one who's full, to one who's half Why want more of what you don't have There's no hear, there's no say The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY But she will The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY But she will The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY Like she will The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY Like she will..
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,845
Top 100 Poster
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OP
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,845 |
Allright, who needs reviewers anyway I'll kick it off with some of my own initial thoughts.. - Lead guitar is all over the place. Needs to get a clearer signature in the mix and play less over the vocals. - The line "If you show repent" doesn't sound proper, maybe "If you just repent"? - The pronounciation of 'analysis' sound bad, maybe a rewrite there? - The lifts are the weakest link. Does the song need them? It's not supposed to sound Tom Petty at all. I just need to get the bed track and the lyric right, and then I'll get a real wfh singer on, and pitch it on the tv/film market.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Allright, who needs reviewers anyway I'll kick it off with some of my own initial thoughts.. - Lead guitar is all over the place. Needs to get a clearer signature in the mix and play less over the vocals. - The line "If you show repent" doesn't sound proper, maybe "If you just repent"? - The pronounciation of 'analysis' sound bad, maybe a rewrite there? I agree- The lifts are the weakest link. Does the song need them? It's not supposed to sound Tom Petty at all. I just need to get the bed track and the lyric right, and then I'll get a real wfh singer on, and pitch it on the tv/film market. I think that you have a good hook and your melody is strong -- this is where in your range you sound real natural and conversational -- so you can Use that knowledge to build songs. really GeT these lines - What kind of love wants to change a man From one who's full, to one who's half - but then I get confused by the wording as to what you mean --- like did you mean HEAR or HerE.... I started asking ...... I hope something is helpful to you in this. jm
Last edited by Joice Marie; 07/14/10 04:22 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,845
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,845 |
Thanks Joice, It's funny, it's in the exact same key as "One flight..." where I sounded strained, but I guess the melody was higher on that one. But I have trouble finding my range and also with processing my voice to a point where I like it. Well, I'm no singer anyway, so my songs just sounds way better with pro singers on. I'm hoping at least I'll be able to produce good music behind them. Still working hard on learning that aspect.. The 'no hear, no say' line was an attempt at underlining the conclusion in the chorus. It's supposed to mean 'that's how it is' or 'there's no two ways about it'.. a simile from law language, I think (maybe too old to use now). Your visits are always helpful, Joice, and there's no hear and no say about that Very much appreciated!
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186 |
Thanks Joice, It's funny, it's in the exact same key as "One flight..." where I sounded strained, but I guess the melody was higher on that one. But I have trouble finding my range and also with processing my voice to a point where I like it. Well, I'm no singer anyway, so my songs just sounds way better with pro singers on. I just wanted to follow up here ........ see that's the trick -- if you know the melody is going a bit over your range then better to start in a key a half step down - so you Can hit the notes without strain -- that will train your vocal cords and eventually you'll make the whole scale in the original key...... You DO have a very nice voice Magne -- worth developing it and that comes from exercising your vocal cords... truly a matter of putting in time and effort. jm
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,487
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Top 200 Poster
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Mange, I'm no reviewer...but I like the lyrics and music in this part: You say you're sorry It was a mistake She may forgive you If you show repent You'll get her flowers And plea for a date It's not complicated And the hook line...The world doesn't meet you HALFWAY Don't know if that helps any atol... tom
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