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#860707 - 11/28/10 11:34 AM You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when...  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,505
Moker Jarrett Offline
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Moker Jarrett  Offline
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,505
jacksonville, fl
Saw this somewhere...For Aging Musicians (and those that just need a laugh)...feel free to add to the list (if you can remember any more !?!)
p.s.- I sure am enjoying that new light for my music stand !!


1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than for your amp.

2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.

4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.

5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your play list.

6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.

7. You don't know (or care) who any of the new bands are.

8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.

9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

11. The waitress is your daughter.

12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.

13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.

14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.

15. You refuse to play without earplugs.

16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.

17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.

18. Your gig stool has a back.

19. You're related to at least one member in the band.

20. You don't let any one sit in.

21. You need a nap before the gig.

22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down.

24. You prefer a music stand with a light.

25. You don't recover from a Saturday night gig until Tuesday afternoon.

26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.....

27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.

28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.

29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ...

30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it

31. Your set list is dance able.

32. You think "homey" means cozy and warm

33. You have to look over your glasses to check your PA connections.

34. You're playing the same venue in three months and you ask the club owner if you can leave your amp!

35. Most of the band members are a lot younger than you.

36. Your son is waiting for the gig to end to drive you and your stuff home, then go back out and party...

37. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a sitter for the grandkids...

38. In consideration of your age, the audience requests some British invasion.

39. On all out of town gigs you draw straws to see who the driver will be coming home.

40. You start listing your truss as a "business expense".

41. You forget to take your Flowmax so all sets that night are only 15 minutes long.

42. When you get a "Cease and Desist" letter from the Spandex co.

43. When you play 2 nights in a row, and the next day your body aches like you played in the Super Bowl!

44. Or, you play a Wednesday night gig and call into work sick on Thursday and Friday..

45. When the only "Stones" you care about are in your gallbladder or kidney.

46. You have to charge extra money if there are any steps to climb.

47. Your hearing has deteriorated so badly that you actually ask the guitar player to "turn himself up.

48. You call out the next song only to have someone remind you played it 10 minutes earlier.

49. Your drugs are keeping you alive rather than killing you.

50. You worry more about breaking a hip than being hip.

51. Musicians half your age are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or have appeared on postage stamps.

52. The only white powder to be found amongst the band members is foot talc.

ROCK ON!!!


#860715 - 11/28/10 12:25 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Moker Jarrett]  
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,478
Kevin Edward Rose Offline
Top 200 Poster
Kevin Edward Rose  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,478
Richmond, IN U.S.A.
Wow, this list would be funny if it wasn't so accurate!


Kevin Edward Rose
Celtic, Americana, whatever the folk.
Hailed by Performing Songwriter magazine as a "valued subscriber".
More music sold than Elvis and the Beatles combined!*
http://www.KevinEdwardRose.com
http://www.youtube.com/KevinEdwardRose
#860725 - 11/28/10 01:04 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Kevin Edward Rose]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,313
Ray E. Strode Online content
Top 30 Poster
Ray E. Strode  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,313
Brunswick, Ga. USA
Actually I'm too old to read the list. Watch it!


Ray E. Strode
#860865 - 11/28/10 10:31 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Ray E. Strode]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,597
Rick Heenan Offline
Rick Heenan  Offline

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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,597
Lockport NY, usa
#53. You can't wear bermuda shorts at summer gigs cause your boys like to peek out at the audience.

#860870 - 11/28/10 10:40 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Rick Heenan]  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,134
Marc Barnette Offline
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Marc Barnette  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 5,134
Nashville, Tn.
#54. Clubs refuse to let you play because insurance companies are afraid you'll fall and break your hip.

#55. You can no longer get your walker over the monitor speakers.

MAB

#860873 - 11/28/10 10:47 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Marc Barnette]  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Johnny Daubert Offline
Top 25 Poster
Johnny Daubert  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
New Jersey, USA
#56. When you realize you forgot to wear your Depends, and then forgetting you realized that before going on.


Actually a Member Since 1996 or 97 (Number One Hundred Something).
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=1409522





#860877 - 11/28/10 10:54 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Marc Barnette]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,418
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,418
#56. You can't remember what comes after "I can't get no..."

#57. Because of your dentures, when you sing "yakkety yak", it comes out as "clackety clack"


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#860939 - 11/29/10 04:48 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: John Voorpostel]  
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Mike Caro Substudio Offline
Mike Caro Substudio  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
NY
I find this post both offensive and demeaning, I'm going to contact whoever is in charge here and forge a complaint. Perhaps a strong letter to my congressmen as well and..... Oops! Lol #58



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







#860949 - 11/29/10 05:47 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Mike Caro Substudio]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
#59: Your Age Spots cover your tattoos...
#60: Your Farts blow the Club up when the Fans flick their Bics

#861011 - 11/29/10 12:50 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: "Tampa Stan" Good (D)]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,313
Ray E. Strode Online content
Top 30 Poster
Ray E. Strode  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,313
Brunswick, Ga. USA
Ha, Ha,
When you can't disguise your Pot when crossing to Border.


Ray E. Strode
#861029 - 11/29/10 01:40 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Ray E. Strode]  
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
Polly Hager Offline
Helping Hand
Polly Hager  Offline
Helping Hand

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
Cincinnati, OH USA
#61 When the songs you play are officially considered "oldies"!


http://www.soundclick.com/pollyhager
http://www.facebook.com/polly.wilmot
http://www.reverbnation.com/rockcandycincy
You're supposed to be grooving as hard as you can, all of the time. - Stephen Gaskin
#861079 - 11/29/10 04:15 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Polly Hager]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,418
John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,418
Ray...that gave me 6oz of the willies wink

What was he thinking??


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#862123 - 12/03/10 11:03 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: John Voorpostel]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,364
Bob Cushing Offline
Bob Cushing  Offline

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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,364
cincinnati oh usa
When people who used to watch you play in your early days disappear to raise a family, then reappear 20 odd years later with their KIDS who are now of drinking age! This happened to me last night!


bc
#862194 - 12/04/10 10:58 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Bob Cushing]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,166
Roy Cooper Online content
Roy Cooper  Online Content

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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,166
Originally Posted by Bob Cushing
When people who used to watch you play in your early days disappear to raise a family, then reappear 20 odd years later with their KIDS who are now of drinking age! This happened to me last night!


What a shock Bob.

Reminds me of the first time someone I thought was old, offered their seat to me on a bus.. lol

God Bless Roy and Helen


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label

Our Personal Website
#862322 - 12/04/10 11:14 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Roy Cooper]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,829
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,829
Indianapolis, IN USA
62. Uhhhh... you forget #62
63. Instead of worrying about being confronted with a Love Child out on the road, you're worried the bartender might be your love Grandchild.
64. You have to choose between your Musicians Union Dues and your AARP membership.
65. You stop bitching about whether you'll ever get another BMI check and instead worry if you'll ever have another BM.

Brian


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
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"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

"It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..."

[Linked Image]
#862802 - 12/07/10 03:41 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Brian Austin Whitney]  
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,487
Tom Breshers Offline
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Tom Breshers  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,487
Panama City, FL, USA
Ha all true...

When you have to stop Mustang Sally because a couple on the dance floor have become entangled in their walkers.

tom

#862814 - 12/07/10 04:30 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Tom Breshers]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
.......you cannot make out the lyrics or understand a single word of the jargon being sung......even when it is supposedly in English

#862835 - 12/07/10 05:42 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: BIG JIM MERRILEES]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,364
Bob Cushing Offline
Bob Cushing  Offline

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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,364
cincinnati oh usa
The couple in question brought their 22 year old son and 21 year old daughter. Mom proceeded to embarrass son by telling him he was concieved after one of my gigs!{ROFL!}


bc
#862869 - 12/07/10 07:35 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Bob Cushing]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
Bob I know the feeling.....I have a booking in a couple of weeks for a girl's 40th birthday party......seemed like yesterday I was booked for her 18th.

#863440 - 12/09/10 11:35 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: BIG JIM MERRILEES]  
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 201
chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 201
Kentucky USA
Originally Posted by BIG JIM MERRILEES
Bob I know the feeling.....I have a booking in a couple of weeks for a girl's 40th birthday party......seemed like yesterday I was booked for her 18th.


Now that is customer loyalty! How cool!!!!


You know you're getting too old for gigging when the pop and crack of your knees comes out the PA as you walk on stage. And the audience thinks your drummer is tuning up.

grin


Chapman Jones
-------------
http://www.chapmanjones.com
#869156 - 01/04/11 03:31 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Kevin Edward Rose]  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,026
Joanne Lurgio Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joanne Lurgio  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,026
RI, USA
Originally Posted by Kevin Edward Rose
Wow, this list would be funny if it wasn't so accurate!


i can relate a little too much to some of these grin
thanks for the laugh ...you know you are doing OK if you can still laugh at yourself wink

Joanne

#869164 - 01/04/11 04:09 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Joanne Lurgio]  
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,558
Tom Tracy Offline
Top 100 Poster
Tom Tracy  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,558
Lumberport,WV, USA
GET OFF MY LAWN

#869207 - 01/04/11 07:13 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Tom Tracy]  
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 377
coalminer Offline
Serious Contributor
coalminer  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 377
Grantville,PA
#67-They have to roll you on stage.


I have music for all of my songs and they vary from rock to country to folk and everywhere in between. (except rap)
#869326 - 01/05/11 04:49 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: coalminer]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
Linda Sings Offline
Linda Sings  Offline

Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
Scorpio
Okay, I don't have a #68 but I have a favorite old-people joke:

Q: What do old people smell like?
A: Depends...




bye


L

#870041 - 01/08/11 06:52 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Linda Sings]  
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Jeff Van Devender Offline
Jeff Van Devender  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Colorado
Love this! I'm printing it.

68. While on stage, you can't remember where you put your set list.

69. The drink you keep on stage with you is Alka-Seltzer.

70. Your stories begin with "I wrote this song 30 years ago..." (where has the time gone?)

71. You're late to the gig because you couldn't get out of the restroom.

72. When your female fans remove their tops, you wish they would leave them on.

#870051 - 01/08/11 08:07 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Jeff Van Devender]  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Johnny Daubert Offline
Top 25 Poster
Johnny Daubert  Offline
Top 25 Poster

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
New Jersey, USA
73. When you're on a break, the only person that comes up to you to talk is a casket salesman.

74. When you actually think that might be a good idea.


Actually a Member Since 1996 or 97 (Number One Hundred Something).
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=1409522





#870148 - 01/09/11 01:07 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Johnny Daubert]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
75. You see a million dollar selling boy band....and think boy do they suck.

#870170 - 01/09/11 02:11 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Kevin Edward Rose]  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,179
Tom Shea Offline
Top 100 Poster
Tom Shea  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,179
Nebraska
Most excellent.


Here is a more general one

You know you are too old (period) when..
you take you two dogs out for a walk and put both leashes one dog.

Tom


Thomas Shea

Thomas Shea - Songwriting
http://www.soundclick.com/thomasshea

Justice - Songs
http://www.soundclick.com/justice-nebraska

#870175 - 01/09/11 02:31 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Tom Shea]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
BIG JIM MERRILEES Offline
BIG JIM MERRILEES  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Edinburgh, Scotland. UK
Tom I have done that as well....I bet you go into a room and then think what the hell did I come in here for.....I know I do.

#870178 - 01/09/11 02:53 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: BIG JIM MERRILEES]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
#?...You Forget WHERE The Gig IS...

#870201 - 01/09/11 04:45 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: "Tampa Stan" Good (D)]  
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,650
Iggy Offline
Top 200 Poster
Iggy  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,650
Manheim, PA
76. You use the clapper to turn on you're amp.
77. Your bling is a medical braclet

#871108 - 01/14/11 04:54 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Iggy]  
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Jeff Van Devender Offline
Jeff Van Devender  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Colorado
78. Someone comes up to you & says, "My grandparents used to love you when they were kids!"

#872259 - 01/18/11 11:30 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Jeff Van Devender]  
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 906
Steve West Offline
Top 500 Poster
Steve West  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 906
Mpls, MN USA

79. Your break times are spent in the bathroom for "Flowmax Moments" rather than the other usual activities... whistle

80. When your drummer leaves the bar after the first set with a willing new freind and leave you to play the drums for the rest of the night......... True story eek


Steve West
Steve's Facebook site
Steve's CD
Now donating $1.00 to JPF for every sale to JPF members \:D
#873029 - 01/22/11 06:28 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Steve West]  
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Jeff Van Devender Offline
Jeff Van Devender  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Colorado
81. Your glutes hurt from sitting on the gig stool for the duration of the gig. (Used to be able to play a 6 hour gig no problem. Tonight, I was hurting after 3 hours!)

#873059 - 01/22/11 12:36 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Jeff Van Devender]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
in2piano Offline
Top 200 Poster
in2piano  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
Oregon, USA
82. Midway thru singing the National Anthem your teeth slip out and you find yourself doing a Gabby Hayes parody.


Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
#873946 - 01/26/11 01:45 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: in2piano]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
Top 40 Poster
Lynn Orloff  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
83. when you can't read the print on this thread


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#875676 - 02/02/11 02:43 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Jeff Van Devender Offline
Jeff Van Devender  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Colorado
84. what?

#875771 - 02/02/11 04:12 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Jeff Van Devender]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
Top 40 Poster
Lynn Orloff  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
85. you wear your jacket while playing on stage because it's "alittle drafty" up there. laugh


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#875893 - 02/03/11 03:47 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Jeff Van Devender Offline
Jeff Van Devender  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Colorado
That does it. I'm getting too dang old.

#878823 - 02/14/11 05:58 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Jeff Van Devender]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Dan O'Connell Offline
Serious Contributor
Dan O'Connell  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Can't stop laughing, I would add the two fans that I do have since I play folk music at venues all call me the "young kid" ...
However, since both can't hear I always sound good to them LOL


http://www.soundclick.com/danoconnell
A Purveyor of Folk Music
#878841 - 02/14/11 06:43 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Moker Jarrett]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,844
Mackie H. Offline
Top 20 Poster
Mackie H.  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,844
NASHVILLE, TN
MOKER--

SOME GOOD ONES HERE

I changed a couple:

3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m. (30 minutes later you get the guitar string changed)

8. Your (new glasses don’t help you) see the amp settings.

9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage. (And had to have stitches like JIMMY BUFFET did in Australia recently)

12. KILLER, FUNNY

20. (Nobody wants to) sit in anymore.

24. You prefer a music stand with a light. ( And a 4X Magnifying glass)

29 The Truth!

46. My friend JIMMY DOES THIS!

49 YO!

Mackie


Last edited by Mackie H.; 02/14/11 06:45 PM.
#879026 - 02/15/11 11:20 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 190
John Cook Offline
Serious Contributor
John Cook  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 190
86. You walk on stage and realize that you forgot to get your guitar out of the car. You get it out of the car and then spend 15 minutes squinting at the tuner before you're able to start the set.

87. You make the soundman come on stage, unplug and remove any wires you need to step over "in case you trip."

Both true stories.

#879162 - 02/15/11 09:39 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: John Cook]  
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,478
Kevin Edward Rose Offline
Top 200 Poster
Kevin Edward Rose  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,478
Richmond, IN U.S.A.
88. You walk on stage and realize that you forgot to get your guitar out of the car. You go back to the car to get it, get in, and drive home.


Kevin Edward Rose
Celtic, Americana, whatever the folk.
Hailed by Performing Songwriter magazine as a "valued subscriber".
More music sold than Elvis and the Beatles combined!*
http://www.KevinEdwardRose.com
http://www.youtube.com/KevinEdwardRose
#879199 - 02/15/11 11:38 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Kevin Edward Rose]  
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
Polly Hager Offline
Helping Hand
Polly Hager  Offline
Helping Hand

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
Cincinnati, OH USA
89. A pre-show nap is MANDATORY!


http://www.soundclick.com/pollyhager
http://www.facebook.com/polly.wilmot
http://www.reverbnation.com/rockcandycincy
You're supposed to be grooving as hard as you can, all of the time. - Stephen Gaskin
#879215 - 02/16/11 12:15 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Polly Hager]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
Top 40 Poster
Lynn Orloff  Offline
Top 40 Poster

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
90. you're getting too old to play gigs when when .....ah when....hmmmm....when....uh....wait a minute...what was the question crazy


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#879247 - 02/16/11 03:20 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Jeff Van Devender Offline
Jeff Van Devender  Offline

Top 200 Poster

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,249
Colorado
91. You wake up alone on stage only to learn everyone has gone home and your gig is over.

#879253 - 02/16/11 06:09 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Jeff Van Devender]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,813
Kolstad Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kolstad  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,813
Denmark
One of the coolest threads ever, Moker! ehh #92.

#93. You start to find "I can't get no satisfaction" offensive and find yourself suggesting to the band - hey, how about we try some smooth jazz pieces next time?

#94. The girls approaching you after the gig ask about your son's and daughter's name.

#95. You start to refuse every line refering to sex in your co-writing sessions, with "nah, can't write THAT!".


Buzz Tracks
Making media sweeter

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/buzztracks
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/buzztracks
#879822 - 02/18/11 12:58 PM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
Janice Hopkins Offline
Top 50 Poster
Janice Hopkins  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
Michigan
This is just the best thread ever!! I am absolutely crying with laughter.

#96....Your frontman sings his best songs in G.....and you've played the whole set....in B......(just because it "felt right")

Oh, God....these are hilarious....bring 'em on!!

#879991 - 02/19/11 04:03 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: Moker Jarrett]  
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1
ROBERT1 Offline
Casual Observer
ROBERT1  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1
Food fat causes the stomach to empty more slowly than either carbohydrates or protein and it imparts satiety - the satisfied feeling you have after eating. If you reduce your fat intake below 20% of total energy intake, you will get hungry quicker.




low fat foods

Last edited by ROBERT1; 02/21/11 05:36 AM.
#880017 - 02/19/11 11:10 AM Re: You're Getting Too Old to Play Gigs when... [Re: ROBERT1]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,829
Brian Austin Whitney Offline
Brian Austin Whitney  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 18,829
Indianapolis, IN USA
Anyone want to put this list into one numbered page? Also, it would be helpful to know who wrote their own above and who got them elsewhere so we can properly credit. (I wrote mine, but I know Moker got his list elsewhere at the start). I may put them in the JPF newsletter and then ask others to log on and add to it. Perhaps we can create a book full of them! = )

Any volunteer?

Brian


Brian Austin Whitney
Founder
Just Plain Folks
jpfolkspro@aol.com
Skype: Brian Austin Whitney
Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks

"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney

"It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..."

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