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We spend hours and hours critiquing each others lyrics and that is the healthy spirit of this generous web site. But rarely do we stop to analyze lyrics that are really impeccable- hits with popular and critical praise. I want to post MIRANDA LAMBERT's song THE HOUSE THAT BUILT ME. Maybe we can discuss why it works as a lyric, a story, a song.

THE HOUSE THAT BUILT ME Written by Tom Douglas and Allen Shamblin If Shamblin's name sounds familiar, he wrote Bonnie Rait's "You can't make me love you" and the song "Life's a dance" among many other hits.

Here is a link to Allen Shamblin songwriter bio: http://www.clevelandbanner.com/view/full_story/10863860/article-A-local-songwriter%E2%80%99s-journey-to-the-top-Allen-Shamblin-nominated-for-Grammy-Award%E2%80%99s-Song-of-the-Year

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me


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Joe, God bless ya for loving this song and let me first give credit where credit is due. This song was a huge hit with the country music public and the country awards shows. The latter probably more in response to the former than for any artistic merit contained in the lyrics.

I'm not trying to rain on the parade of those millions who love this song. But if I'm going to offer a critque of it, it's going to be honest. Those who love the song might want to quit reading right now.

The song has been hailed by quite a few songwriters and critics as the almost perfect lyric. I disagree. I think the lyrics are pretty run-of-the-mill and forgettable. I believe this is an example of a decent idea (a nostalgic return to the childhood home - after all, who hasn't done that or wanted to do it?) ruined by a maudlin and psychologically convoluted storyline.

Let me go through it line-by-line with some brief analysis explaining why the song doesn't impress me.


I know they say you can't go home again / cliched
I just had to come back one last time / good idea that needs to be explored
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam / cliched
But these handprints on the front steps are mine / good descriptive line

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom / decent descriptive line
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar/ maudlin
I bet you didn't know under that live oak/ strained conversational line. Nobody talks like that to a stranger.
My favorite dog is buried in the yard/ maudlin

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

Chorus is psychologically untruthful and maudlin. People don't go back to visit the home they grew up in to resolve psychological problems they're having. Maybe they drink or maybe they go to a shrink. They don't go back to the childhood home for that reason.


If I could just come in I swear I'll leave / strained conversational line. Nobody talks like that to strangers
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me / this is a horrible anthromorphism

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years/ good descriptive line but doesn't advance the story
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine/ okay descriptive line
Plans were drawn and concrete poured/ doesn't advance the story
Nail by nail and board by board/ doesn't advance the story
Daddy gave life to mama's dream/ good line but the whole verse is filler

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

See my earlier analysis of the chorus.

If I could just come in I swear I'll leave / strained. Nobody talks like this
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me/ this is a horrible anthromorphism

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can/ cliched
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am/ This might be an emotion or idea worth exploring. But tagged on the end of this cliched, maudlin ballad, it never gets developed.

Now those are my thoughts on the song. I respect those who disagree. I am sure there are many who will. And I acknowledge this may well be the "perfect" commercial country lyric. No argument there. But it's nothing I'd hold up as any kind of artistic or moving lyric. Nothing in the domain of good lyric-writing or poetry. Nothing I'd tell a youngster to emulate.

Now I'd like to hear what others think of the song, including what they feel are its strong points. The main one I see is that it was a hit.

Last edited by Dan Sullivan; 04/06/11 05:26 PM.

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The song succeeds because it is an instant tearjerker for anyone who has had a similar experience.....the same kind of response that people have when they hear a song played that they loved growing up. People who tend to live in the past and think about such things are instantly drawn to the story, even if the hook is silly.....houses do not build people!

The lyric is conversational and fits Miranda's Texas drawl perfectly. The combination of the lyric with the music, production and Miranda's voice, delivery and appearance is pretty much perfect.

As Dan points out, some of the lines are not great literary works of art, but they don't need to be.....it's just this Texas country girl telling her story in her words.

The first two lines set up the story....you know what's coming because she told you. The next two lines and the second verse paint a picture of what her childhood was like and what the house meant to her in six lines.

The prechorus tells us about her feelings and hints at something going on in her life vaguely enough to fit many people's situations - they think she is describing them and their broken dreams.

The chorus doesn't add much new information but it sounds good when sung. By that time people are hooked and they just want something that sounds good to sing along with.

Plus she's cute....


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

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Well, I should have critiqued it before I read Dan's review (ha, ha) but I didn't.

In verse one we see two cliches that are used to set up lines. Here's the deal with "cliches", metaphors and such. They are powerful tools to set up scenes or impart a lot of information in a short phrase. So it is not cliches that are bad, per se -- it is our use of them. If the cliche IS the "punchline", then you have a cliched story and it becomes boring. But if you use a cliche to set up another line, then maybe it works better.

I know they say you can't go home again / cliched
I just had to come back one last time / why a "last" time
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam / cliched
But these handprints on the front steps are mine / now we are getting somewhere.

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn't know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard


Yowser, now that's a verse. If you don't get choked up reading lines 3 or 4, you are probably too far left (or too far right) in your political leanings (ha, ha -- just a cross-thread joke).

************************

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream


This might be one of the best second verses EVER (Well, the best verse after the first chorus, some might consider this a third verse). My wife watched (and still watches) every home show there is and used to look at house plans all the time. This verse certainly seems plausible and real to me.

I'll let someone else discuss the merits of the chorus and the twist on the title.

Kevin

P.S. This was written by two guys and pitched to Blake Shelton (Miranda's fiancee). She listened to in the car and cried and asked to record it. To me, this is 100% a woman's song, becuase what lady is going to let a strange man into her house to "walk around in it".

P.S.S. The official video of this stinks. The story is about someone barely holding on and is looking for something to give to remember as they go forward. The video was a nice, nostalgic romp (fluff).

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 04/06/11 07:44 PM.

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It's got a killer hook for sure, but perhaps I wanted to know more about her brokenness inside?

That is not set up in the beginning, no release, only used in the chorus, and her memories are mostly nice in the verses, so even though the house built her, it apparently didn't create the "brokenness inside"? The bridge attempt of saying that she simply forgot who she were, and therefore needs to go home to heal is a bit thin to me, but allright.. it's open for a lot of folks interpretations. That's why it works.

There are not too many competing great one liners in there, those would compete with the main hook, so it's just kept conversational. Probably smart, then a big artist like Miranda can sing it without too much risk. Cliché's perhaps (good point, Kevin!), but never cheesy.

Basically a good conversational lyric, with a great hook and a nice melody, done by a popular artist. 4 BIG ones, IMO.

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I agree with Kevin - this is perfectly written:

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

Why does it work? I think it (the whole song, actually) works because it combines great imagery with great story telling.

I mean he's kind of saying

Mom wanted a dream home
So Dad worked really hard on it. smile

But, he's using the "show, don't tell" approach. And the "show" parts of it are so easy to visualize that we feel what it means as opposed to just hearing the meaning.

I don't think it's impeccable though. I don't think you would ever say this in this exact way:

I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

You'd say something like my "my favorite dog is buried under the live oak". "In the yard" is redundant and was probably used because he really wanted to work "guitar" into the song. smile

That's a nit though - LOL, this is good stuff.

Scott

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Dan's critique above is a perfect example of why you should follow your gut and ignore what people say. Most of what Dan said is true, plus the chorus doesn't have much lift, and yet the song was a big hit. If you had written that song and gotten a review like Dan's right out of the gate, you probably would have thrown it away, or rewritten it until all the life was sucked out of it.

The first time I heard this song I knew it was something special. Yeah it's technically not perfect, but it hits the right emotional buttons for it's intended market. I hear plenty of otherwise perfectly crafted songs that don't.

This song was supposedly pitched around Nashville for years before Miranda cut it. If that's not humbling, I don't know what is.

Personally, I think it's one of the best songs to come out of Nashville in some time.

Cam

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Originally Posted by Colin Ward

As Dan points out, some of the lines are not great literary works of art, but they don't need to be.....it's just this Texas country girl telling her story in her words.

Plus she's cute....


Colin's got it right! It's as simple as that.

Last edited by CamJam; 04/07/11 03:40 PM.
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This is not the direction I thought this thread would take. This song won Lambert a Grammy for Best Female Country Vocal Performance and the song itself was CMA "Song of the Year".

So, I guess the general consensus here is that the song writers have something to learn from us instead of the other way around? The difference of course is that those writers can chock up a hit and most of us are still batting zero on that field.

Here is the performance at the country music award ceremony. I like it better than the music video version- much more heart felt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96-P6eUjHXE

We are listening to the same song aren't we?

The hook is dynamite. Dan. You said about the hook, "this is a horrible anthropomorphism". You are just wrong. I didn't even have to hear the song or read the lyrics to know the hook was stellar. In my head, I immediately starting writing my own song. I think that is what a great hook does to the audience. Just reading the hook put me back where I grew up. No, there is nothing you could say that would convince me that the hook is horrible- it is the most brilliant part of the song and remember, we are talking about CMA song of the year.

Tom Douglas and Allen Shamblin did a lot of rewriting on this song. It was written more than three years before it was cut and didn't go anywhere first time around- that is why they rewrote it. They had to make it more clear that this girl is coming back broken and trying to find a piece of herself where she grew up. It sets a very compelling setting and mood as the protagonist asked with humility (from the new owners) to look around. When the person at the door hears that those tiny hand prints belong to the young adult at the door, the songwriters are asking you, the listener, to put yourself there, on both sides of the door. This "setting" didn't happen by accident. Writing is hard and re-writing is often "subtraction". A lot of paper went to the floor before the writers figured out how to build a framework to set the mood of the song. In this case- putting the girl in a situation where she has to plead to be allowed to fix her brokenness. She is an intruder now but all she wants to take away from the place is "a memory". The tension presented by her situation is created by the writer's craft. There is more going on here that the lines you read

I may be affected emotionally to a greater extent than others here because my mother passed away in December. She left 20 great grand children. She had sold the homestead in Oregon built in 1919 about 5 years ago when she moved into an apartment. A young couple with 2 kids bought it and obviously love it. New memories are growing there and it felt good to see it in their faces. My brother and sisters, and my nephews and nieces all were invited to tour the place a few days before my mother passed away. like Lambert, we were just guest now and were a little awkward because this was "ours" and yet it wasn't. As we went up and down the stairs looking in all the rooms, then out to the garden and into the basement, every one had a story to tell including where the pets were buried. Three generations of my family lived in that house; Two generations of another family before us and now a new generation after us. A house is a powerful anchor point for many many lives.

Why do cliches work at all? It is because everyone relates to the same things- life, death, family, home, change, brokenness, redemption and longing. We all know you can't go home again. Everyone finds this out eventually and yet we all long for innocence that we all have experience in the past. A song like this can touch a lot of people because the theme is familiar and personal- cliche if you like, but it is also the truth. You don't have to tell the factual truth when you write a song but you will have to tell the emotional truth or no one will be touched. Writing to avoid a cliche or a maudlin sentiment will not bring you any closer to a hit song. The more I write the more certain I am of one thing: if you do not "feel" emotionally attached to your own song, no one will- no matter how perfectly crafted the song may be.






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As a strong fan of this song, I can also say that Dan is not wrong. It is his opinion about a work of art -- so he can't be wrong. And maybe 90% of the record buying public probably agrees with him (country has about a 10% share according to soundscan).

Kevin


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Negative on one point. Houses really CAN build people. When you think about it, those of us who grew up in a house where there was an abundance of love and caring will remember those aspects of domestic harmony. However, if one is growing up in a house dominated by an inflexible approach, always anticipating a fair amount of upsets and discord, that can end up putting a damper on the attitude one has now only growing up but also once adulthood is reached. These latter groups often have a much harder time forming families and accepting other adult responsibilities.

Peace,
Brian


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