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Joined: Mar 2007
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Hi guys Stan and I joined in song making contest here in the Philippines and this is our entry. Its about the motorcycle riding experience and probably they going to use it for their product jingle or in every promotion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JeP2LJ0hHkCrits are highly welcome and highly appreciated. We want to improve our baby a little more and push it to its full potential. Thanks in advance. Lynman
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Lynman/Stan Very catchy tune. I enjoyed listening to it, I even enjoyed watching the video. I don't have any comments for improvenment but hopefully you will get more comments. Kyrk
I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. (Daniel Boone)
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Joined: Jan 2005
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cool song about life but if i didn't see the video i wouldn't have known it was a song about motorcycling.What type of product are they selling?Just wondering.I hope the best for ya'll though!!!
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Joined: Jul 2010
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HiDee Cap'n!
Doc's entering this in a Contest sponsored by Yamaha..in the Philippines--I've already tweaked the lyrics a bit/definitely open to further Sugs!
Thanks for Your Kind Visit, Amigo!
Best Weekend Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Joined: Jul 2010
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HiDee CycleGuy...you da man we wants Feedback-from..heh-heh!
I didn't originally pen this about cycling whatsoever, but Doc's gota really Good Memory, & put it to music.
& yeah, the Vid really helps it with what he's got in-mind.
I'm hearing a few lines that could use some trimmin' & simplifying, so feel-free to Sug-Away, Amigo!
I'm off to the garage to crank up my Kawasaki/may run it around the block today...but still am about $400-500 shy of Tags/Title Transfer/& Cycle Classes...to be fully-legit. DID finally learn it Won't Crank unless the kickstand is UP..heh..so as of last week, it's Firing Up...& Real Tempting to whip it around the block on this beautiful, cool & Sunny-Sunday!
Say a Prayer for me...& hope ya got a few Sugs, as-well!
Best Wishes & Adios, Amigo! Stan
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Hey Stan and Lynman,i'll see what i can do with the lyric keeping the melody the same,and of course you can use it or shred it!I just think the video should show Yamaha's throughout and the lifestyle,not these other types of things like swimming and office people you have on the video.It's about "motorcycles"! That's what you're trying to sell here,right?Good luck you two! There's dirt bikes,street bikes,touring bikes,all sorts of Yamaha's including ATV's [i think].
Last edited by Michael LeBlanc; 10/30/11 10:02 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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hey Stan,i sent you a PM,you can send to Lynman,thanx,it was fun!
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Thanks Amigo..I'm off to take a peek right now!
(Bad luck with the Kawasaki today..wouldn't crank! Engine did try a wee bit..but no go. Battery wasn't down...sooo....Gulp!
Sat almost a month..WAS told to crank it weekly, but wouldn't even whir...'til I learned it has to have the Kickstand UP or it stays off. So..voila..it cranked,I ran it in-place 'till engine was hot...then shut 'er down...last weekend.
& then today, it ALMOST fired up, but fizzled like Hugh Heffner's latest marriage..after 3 near-goes.
So...it's leanin' against the '27 Chevy Pickup..with the stuck engine...in the garage which has a Jag XJ6 right outside...also with a dead engine...& my Doorstop Collection is gettin' pretty hefty of-late!!!
Thanks for the Sugs, which I'll FWD to Doc, somehow!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug..High Five Too, if I ever get this bike on da Road..heh! Gettin' LOTS of Exercize Pushin' These Days, Stan
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
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I think it's great guys - really catchy and it's got a lot of energy. Love the "heys" Not sure what to suggest about the contest. Does it include video or just audio? If it's video, this might work if you use more (or all) motorcycle images. If audio, I would think the lyric would have to be changed, like Michael said. I like the lyric a lot - I don't think it needs changed to improve the song, only to fit the contest better. Best of luck - would be pretty cool to know the guys that got the song in a new Yamaha commercial Scott
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,262 Likes: 19
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Hey guys...how about,"Life Goes On (Make A Diffrence)" Make it Diffrent?? It just doesn't catch me...seems less potent. Anyways.....great sound....great message....good luck with this guys!! -Tom
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Thanks Lots, Scott & Tom, for your input here! (REAL Good Hook-Change Sug, Brother Tommy!!!) Good Insight Too, NeighborGuy Scott!!!
If CycleGuy is a-reading, your PM..alas..didn't post at This End of the Pipeline...Dern It!!!
Doc, Thanks for posting this Video here..I know ya've already invested Tons of Talent, Time, & loot to get it THIS far...&..I hope the Yamaha Folks enjoy it as much as I already Do!
Good Luck with it, Amigo...(I already have begun hating my Kawasaki that didn't-wanna-start..over the weekend...)
Best Wishes to ALL, & Major-League Guy-Hugs, All-Around, Stan
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Joined: Dec 2009
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Music and lyrics are catch, consistent, and convincing.
There should be enough material within that song for Yahama to choose from for their TV spots or whatever. There should be no need to adapt the lyrics throughout since they only will use a couple seconds anyway.
I found the song slightly too long, a few seconds (and repetitions) less might tighten it.
Cheers, Bernd
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Joined: Jan 2006
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I love the inspiring message and catchy tune (sticks with you after the song ends) -- and think that the motorcycle images will add great oomph for the Yamaha pitch! Very NICE!! -- Lisa
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Hey Guys...
Real nice pitch here! I kinda agree with Mr. LeBlanc about keeping the video focused the Yamaha bikes, unless you can tie the other stuff into the arena of Yamaha bikes.
Full of energy and kept me moving down the road! Nice work!!!
Al
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Sounds like it would make a good jingle to me -- they would only use 10-15 seconds of it in a 30-second commercial anyway.
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Joined: Nov 2001
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'Morning again, Stan...and Lynman, this time...
Stan, you are sure surrounding yourself with good people.
Lynman, we've never met, but gotta say, I'm impressed. The music's good, the video's cool. Makes me wanna get up and do SOMETHING! I should go to bed, since I work midnights...
But this was a cool day to end my day. Thanks...both of you. Stan, don't forget yer helmet...
Clark.
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Kyrksongs: Thanks for visiting and liking this collaboration. I dont know if this is a work in progress song. But who knows it is a matter of chance if we won in this contest then the lyrics is final but if we are not the lucky ones I still feel that this song needs a little more tweaking especially when I discussed it with Stan like the choice of words of speed and versatility. We still want this songs to be a global, preachy, mind setting, and too motivational songs and can be used by all walks of life.
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Michael: Thanks for your visits too. Im not a motorcycle guy because my wife dont agree with the idea of me on those 2 wheeled beast. Im still dreaming to have a Harley but anyways. This is Yamaha and I first encountered Yamaha as a makers of musical instruments in fact their logo is a 3 tuning forks that looks like a wheel. Im looking forward for your suggestion and I beleive your first hand experience in motorcycling to associate the idea is badly badly needed. Maybe Stan will shift his product from Kawasaki to Yamaha because we are all in the field of music eh?
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Scott: Thanks for giving your time to this one. The heys are all Stans final tweaking on lyrics... The video is not important or even the pictures just the lyrics and music... WE cannot help to put something in our youtube presentation because the main theme of the contest is to make a difference. In fact some of people who submitted their songs they included the whole music video with some of the riders who are doing this crazy dance $hit.
What ever happens in the songwriting contest we have another avenue to market his songs.
Lynman
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Tom: We will consider your input.. we are chained by the contest rule but I see the maleability of the lyrics and melody. Thanks a lot!!! Lynman
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Bernd: Thanks!!! you are right the song is too long and not suitable for a jingle. I dont have the whole idea about the yamaha concept. Maybe they are looking for a band who can tour with them to promote their beast in every corner and this song is probably their flagship song... That why I put the hey! thing in every verse
Lynman
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Lisa, Al and David: Thanks for your inspiring words to this collaboration. Stan and are hoping to nail this... We will inform you in 2 weeks time about the fate of our baby.
Lynman
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Clark: Thanks and it's so nice to meet you too. Im glad you are impressed and motivated with the songs. This is what we are trying to impart to the motorcycle drivers around the world...
Lynman
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"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
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