"New York City Cowboy" ~ SOUNDCLOUD

New York City Cowboy
(c)2005 Steve Altonian

Late December morning rain is pouring
But life don’t stop in the city that never sleeps
He steps off the subway ain’t going nowhere
Wipes his boots off and heads down Second Street

This ain’t no town to be alone
But sometimes you can’t go home, can’t go home

He’s a New York City Cowboy slinging guitar
He believes in God and still sings songs of love
Born and raised in Nashville
But that was oh so many lifetimes ago
He’s a New York City Cowboy

He thinks about her and life without her
The life they had before Jesus took her home
He was her childhood sweetheart her white knight in armor
He keeps her picture tucked inside his coat

Oh the tears pour down in the rain
Things will never be the same, be the same

He’s a New York City Cowboy slinging guitar
He believes in God and still sings songs of love
Born and raised in Nashville
But that was oh so many lifetimes ago
He’s a New York City Cowboy

This ain’t no town to be alone
But sometimes you can’t go home, can’t go home

He’s a New York City Cowboy slinging guitar
He believes in God and still sings songs of love
Born and raised in Nashville
But that was oh so many lifetimes ago
He’s a New York City Cowboy
He’s a New York City Cowboy
He’s a New York City Cowboy

This is really well put together Steve.
Lots of emotion.

Viic

Nicely done! I was curious about the choice of title. Why New York? Why a cowboy? Would it matter if he was a Chicago taxi driver?

Best of luck!
-Mike

(Introductory Movement 0:00 - 0:15)

Late December morning, rain is pouring, (This Line is 'rushed' in execution. I barely hear the 'L' in 'Late', and don't hear the 'De' in 'December'. Each word should be given its place to clearly 'send' the word meaning to the listener. Is that you singing or a Demo-Singer? Sometimes when people are trying to sing someone else's Song they don't quite 'get' the prosody of how the Lyric 'fits' in the Arrangement of instrumentation, how the Melody 'fits'.)

But life don’t stop in the city that never sleeps. (This Line isn't clearly delivered. We're only 22 seconds in. If you've 'hooked' listener interest in Line 1 you may lose it in Line 2. That 'connector' word, 'But' is often a 'clutter' in the mouth of a singer. I always recommend trying a Line (whole Song) without the 'but', 'and', 'cause' connectors; one less word to 'fit' into the prosody.)

He steps off the subway, ain’t going nowhere, (That pronoun 'He' makes this a stronger Line, but it isn't given a strong enunciation, to bring that power, 'sent' by the Singer-Character, an Anonymous Narrator, in this Lyric, so it can be easily 'received' by the listener.)
wipes his boots off and heads down Second Street.

(0:45)(Pre-Chorus; a Melodic 'lift' or 'rise', suggesting enough elucidation of the story, setting of the scene, has been done, and the story is about to get to the point.)
This ain’t no town to be alone (The word 'This' doesn't get its space. I hear "s ain' no town".)
(Below is a chance to see how the Line could work the same without 'But' as it does with it, in terms of word meaning, but without cluttering up the Line in the Singer's mouth.)
But sometimes you can’t go home, can’t go home (The multi-syllable 'ho-hom-me' might work. I wonder if a straight single note, sustained, would work better.)

(1:03) (Here you get the first 'hit' on THE Hook, the title, and begin to emphasize it as the main point. It works, I think, getting the concept into the listener's head on first hearing.)

He’s a New York City Cowboy, slinging guitar (The word 'He's' doesn't fully get its space.)
He believes in God and still sings songs of love ('He', again, disappears. 'He' is the 'actor' to do the action of verbs, 'believes/sings'. So 'he' is essential to keep the Lines making sense to the listener. The 'God' concept takes a turn for 'philosophical', less a storytelling mode, a 'real' person in a place...or out of place, a universal feeling.)
Born and raised in Nashville
But that was oh so many lifetimes ago (Delete 'But')
He’s a New York City Cowboy
(1:32)(Second 'hit' on THE Hook, title. 'Turnaround 1:33-1:44, eleven seconds. You're a minute and 45 seconds in, running long. Terrestrial radio likes shorter Songs that leave time for the commercial advertising that pays the bills. The digital world may have different criteria, but short Songs are more likely to get played. Longer Songs also risk passing the Human attention span, letting listener's drift off to their own thoughts.)

He thinks about her and life without her
The life they had before Jesus took her home. (Again, the religious reference takes it philosophical. This may have appeal to the target market audience imagined by Nashville. In the old days it was referred to as 'maudlin', an obvious 'pandering' to 'hook' the people who didn't find it off-putting as 'too real' in their own lives, or not in-sync with their own philosophy of life and death. May work; may not.)
He was her childhood sweetheart, her white knight in armor ('He' doesn't get its space. Two-syllable 'armor' becomes 'ar-har-mer', an alteration that may elude listeners as to just what word is being sung.)
He keeps her picture tucked inside his coat (I don't hear 'He' at all in this Line.)

Oh the tears pour down in the rain
Things will never be the same, be the same (sa-ha-a-ame. This practice of stretching one-syllable words into multiple syllables may work; may not. It stands out to me for some reason, perhaps seeming unnatural, not the way those words are 'spoken'. 'Same' is still distinguishable, in sound, in context in the Line.)

(2:32)
He’s a New York City Cowboy slinging guitar ('He's' missing.) (Third/fourth 'hits' on THE Hook. Strong on driving that home as THE point of the whole Song.)
He believes in God and still sings songs of love
Born and raised in Nashville
But that was oh so many lifetimes ago
He’s a New York City Cowboy ('He's' missing.)

This ain’t no town to be alone ('This' does'nt get its space.)
But sometimes you can’t go home, can’t go home

(3:32)
He’s a New York City Cowboy slinging guitar (Fifth 'hit')
He believes in God and still sings songs of love
Born and raised in Nashville
But that was oh so many lifetimes ago
He’s a New York City Cowboy (6, 7, 8 hits on THE Hook. Very strong.)
He’s a New York City Cowboy
He’s a New York City Cowboy
(4:22 Long Song.)

("The city that never sleeps; and looks like it." Comic, Stephen Wright)

It's Cowboy because it's a country song, and cowboy is a typical image in country music, New York, because the contrast of two cities makes it interesting. Think of Rhinestone Cowboy. Speaks to having to leave roots behind for a career.

Chicago taxi driver wouldn't have the same effect.

I enjoyed the song.

Good song, especially the lyrics. I personally would rather if it had traditional country style music, instead of popular style. But that's just what I prefer.

It really gets across the lonesome feeling. Expert quality recording.

Hi Steve,
I'd say I was a country boy but I'm now a country old man, with a country boys heart. One thing they have in common is we both like story songs. This one does what it needs to do, it tells the story, in a way that's great to listen to. good luck with it.

Steve

You dont put them up unless they are good and they work. This song is no exception.
You attracted one post that I just don't understand.

Liked the song.

Marty

Thanks Vic

The emotion is because my life story is weaved in and out of this song...The faces & places are different in the song, but I now realize how much of me is really in this lyric.

It’s about loss...Sometimes you can’t go home, and yet you ain’t going nowhere...But in spite of that you keep playing music, in spite of that, you believe in God and STILL sing songs of love...

Yup this story is really based on my life. I just used the character of The New York City Cowboy to explain it. I guess I am he...



What Fdemetrio said...

Hi Steve ...

I like this a lot. I'm a fan of Pop-Country as well as Traditional Country. Each has its place ... depending on your target audience. I'm a fan of this one.

Story songs truly reveal the depth of a lyricist, in my opinion. I'm an author with several books on Amazon and I see story songs as a novel in a hundred words or less ... not an easy task for many lyricists. but you seem to fall right in perfect step with a specific opening, an logical, evolving sequence of events capped with a good ending.

As always, your vocal is superb. I'd love to have even one-fourth of your vocal chops! But being well past my 73rd birthday, I doubt that's going to happen!

That was a very nice recorded song with an excellent mix and some real nice backing tracks ... the band did a great job for you.

Wishing you the best and please be safe ...

Alan

Hey Steve,

Great job, great write! I loved the arrangement especially, but a great concept. I like your vocal stylization as its pretty consistent, but for polishing, you "might" want to re-do a couple of lines as Gary mentioned--but dang......this is a good'n! (Gary, next time have a beer before you listen and slow those wheels down a bit in your brain and enjoy the song).

steady-eddie

Gary & Steady-Eddie

Thanks for listening. I didn't take offense to Garys comments...I was a young writer at the time & definitely not polished...

I appreciate the breakdown Gary & spending the time to evaluate. Some of your crits are warranted as this was my first Country tune ever written, & there are things I just didn't see at the time. It was also the second one I ever recorded, so a few things I would change in the studio if I re-recorded it. Cutting time would be one, but that would necessitate taking out the last Pre-Chorus which builds effect, so it's still a tough one to cut time on. But I need to snip somewhere.

As for cutting out words at the beginning of lines,Tampa Stan gave me that advice on another song that came after this. There are words that get eaten when I sing for sure, so I should have just left them off the lyric sheet.

I wrote this song for me as an Artist at the time, & never ever considered anyone but me ever singing it, so stylistically there are some phrasings in this that others probably wouldn't do

I love a soaring hook vocally & this is definitely tailor made to my vocal style, especially at the time.

For all it's flaws, this song is still one of my most popular songs with the general public.

I guess sometimes people just want a Character & story they can relate to, & a HOOK/CHORUS they can sing along to by the end of the first CHORUS...

Morning, Steve:

This one would have "charted" in the Nashville I once knew. Really good vocal with emotions held in check just right. I thought the story line revealed in the lyric was perfect. The production was exceptional and I can just imagine how good this would sound to a long-haul truck driver listening late at night to wherever he was headed.

Wishing you all the best in your music ventures... and I don't need to tell you how tough things are these days. Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing.

----Dave

Hi Songbird,

You hit it on the head...That lonesome feeling is whathw Character is all about




Thanks Marty,

I appreciate that for sure....It's good to be appreciated...Thanks