Heaven's Not a Restaurant © 2004 dawg, BMI
There's a whole lot of confusion
'caused by preachers on T.V.
urging folks to send in money
for a message that is free.
There is no secret number
for Jesus' private line.
You can talk directly to him
by praying any time.
Jesus never wore no Rolex,
nor a silk designer suit.
He was into robes and sandals;
not alligator boots.
Never showed up in a limo
at a red carpet affair;
more like George Jones on a jackass
at the main stage of Fan Fair.
(Chorus)
Heaven's not a restaurant.
Saint Pete's no maitre d'.
You can't slip him twenty bucks
for a table near J.C.
There is no valet parking;
they don't care about shirts and shoes.
No bouncer at the front door,
cause nobody is refused.
The diciples weren't his posse,
and he did not speak in "rap".
His arrest by the authorities
was nothing like Tupac's.
He was much too big for Vegas;
only played outdoor events.
Multitudes without a sound man,
raised staging, or a tent.
(Chorus)
Heaven's not a restaurant.
Saint Pete's no maitre d'.
You can't slip him twenty bucks
for a table near J.C.
There is no valet parking;
they don't care about shirts and shoes.
No bouncer at the front door,
'cause nobody is refused.
[This message has been edited by greydog (edited 07-18-2004).]
Nice piece Dawg, but if I'm not mistaken Elvis played Vegas.
Hey Dawgie!
Man, do you ever get it right with this one! My son and I were talking about this very thing at work on Thursday. The line we came up with was:
"Write that check to Jesus before you shower and undress
But when the preacher gives it out, it's his personal address."
Really liked the George Jones...Jackass line...priceless!
I don't know how many times I've said it before, but here I go again...a mighty fine song, Dawg!
Alan
------------------
When you talk, you say something you already know...
If you listen, you might learn something new.
He he good one Dawg.
Reminded me of Ray Stevens line
"would Jesus wear a rolex on his TV show"
Good message with a little twist of humor.
George Jones on a jackass.....LOL!
Regards
Eric
Dawg:
*Very* nice. Bungee Jumping Jesus got to you, too, huh?
Jes' a thought: I'd change that second-to-last line in the chorus so it was "No bouncer at the Pearly Gates." Might as well go with references to things people are familiar with (like you said in the first verse).
Again, with the "familiar references" mantra in mind: I was unclear about Tupac, but I'm awfully divorced from modern music, and no doubt Tupac is somebody everybody ought to know. Closest thing I can think of to a black rapper who went to jail was Marion Barry--the man most responsible for making Oregonians realize "marionberry" doesn't have to mean something digestible. (And George Jones on a jackass? I missed that? That's way too bad...) And if Jesus didn't speak in rap, would it be better to say the disciples weren't a "backup band"? (Do rappers even *have* backup bands?)
Joe
Joe
Hiya Greydog,
Nice little piece here! Really liked the line about slipping St. Pete 20 bucks for a table near J.C.!!!
Having been in the Columbia, Tn. area for 8 months now and still can't settle on a church, I can relate to this lyric in a very personal way. Tried another this a.m., but no closer to a decision.
I'm with you on your assessment of televangelists. I wouldn't want to trade places with them when they meet The Master!
Cute lyric, would need to be shortened a bit to make it in Nashville, but many could relate to it for sure!
Stan ;-)
Cute. I had an idea for one a while back called 'Heaven's not a cafeteria' about how people can't pick and choose what they wish to be true about religion, but nothing came of it. This one's much more enjoyable reading that mine was gonna be. I hate to be the bearer of bad news... and usually I stretch rhymes as far as they go, but 'rap' and 'Tupac' do not rhyme. Tupac is pronounced: Too-pahk. It would sooner rhyme with 'lock' than 'rap'. I'm sure you can come up with something else there... or leave it, it really doesn't hurt anything I s'pose. Anyway, I like the message and the lyric.
CP
Hello Joyce,
so did Wayne Newton, Elton John, Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
Sorry, either I missed your point or you made mine.<g>
dawg
Lol Alan,
That is like the story of the rabbi, who would take the sabbath offering, place it in a large basket and toss it all in the air. He figured God would keep what He wanted and allow the rest to fall back to the rabbi for his needs.
Thanks for takin the time to read and the kind words.
dawg
Hello Eric,
and thank you.
Just scramblin' for images that folks can relate to and that will get the point across.<g>
Thanks for the read and response. Sorry about my Braves roughin' up your Expos today.
dawg
Hello Folks,
and my apologies. I do not mean to ignor any of the responses here, but Brian and I seem to be at loggerheads again on the General Board on the subject of Taxi.
Feel free to email me at greydog8@earthlink.net or join me at the Writer's Block.
dawg
LOL!
C'mon Dawgie you know they're not my Expos. However they have been a great resource for your Braves this year. Braves have taken 9 out of 12 meetings.
Wonder why they don't call them the San Juan Expos or something similiar these days. I really am suprised they still exist.
They will probably go to a Stateside home next year.
Sox and Cubs heavy bats have been sluggish lately. My ol pal Sosa screwed up bad in the outfield last night. Easy to call from my Laz-E-Boy chair.
Eric
Solid Well-Written Fun-with-a-Great Message.
Thought the Tupac-Rap Rhyme was OK..Us White Folks are allowed to Mispronounce Foreign Words all the time, ain't we? ;-)>
"KUDOS" for a Fine Good'n' & Good Luck with it, Bud'!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
Good one Dawg.
It reminded me of, and sung to the tune to, pretty well, Royal Telephone. A 50's hit for down under and indigenous, and still going strong by the way, singer Jimmy Little.
Graham
------------------
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm
Dawg! Oh, I like it! Agree wholeheartedly.
I didn't know how to pronounce Tupac's either, and couldn't ID him in a line-up, but if you want to keep that, I was thinking your rhyme line could be "He didn't rap or rock." Also think Joe's idea (back-up band) is good for this verse.
Great job!
hey dawg,
awesome message. everything about this says what most need to hear. i'd say all i don't think fits is the "George Jones on a jackass" line. even if it's true to the message, i think it takes a little something away.
i'm going to get the tiniest bit philosophical here. i don't find the song funny, but more of a serious satire. it has a message that needs saying badly in a way that is easy. you can write that...very well. i think putting something too funny in it takes away from the whole of the words.
just my opinion. you've been it longer than i have and know what you're looking to convey. i still really like what you're saying.
jan
Bump. Thought everyone would enjoy this'n.
Miss Ya Dawg...
I believe Corky (Dawg) Bernard passed away one week after he posted this: on 7/25/04.
There is a lot of his stuff that is worthy of music. I am not sure who survives him. Maybe they will post here.
------------------
Music is spiritual. The music business is not.
* Van Morrison
Hi Geoff and Cat,
Corky and I were married and were partners in Gallup 'N Dawg Music, so I am his survivor. To answer your question...no, this lyric did not ever get a tune for it...so please be my guest Geoff and see what you come up with. I look forward to hearing it.
Hugs,
Bobbie
Thanks Bobbie, got your email, but email is becoming unreliable, so if i don't get back to you, it's just because I'm probably not recieving it. Did some work yesterday, and it's coming along fine. Talk soon,
cheers, niteshift
PS lost my logon in the crash, hope it comes back.
Hey Bobbie,
Did you get the quick demo ? Will be doing some more work this week, so let me know your thoughts,
cheers, niteshift
Wow...another great lyric by my favorite dawg
![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif)
I really miss his stories...Bobbie, we'll always remember dawg..
Emily
------------------
http://emilysanders.net
Hey Bobbie,
Got Version 1 up and happening, if you're around just check your PM's. Talk to you soon.
cheers, niteshift
Howdy man Nice work only the last two lines of the last half of the last verse seemed a little forced to me.
He was much too big for Vegas;
only played outdoor events.
Multitudes without a sound man,
raised staging, or a tent.
As I said Nice work
Noel,
Check out the song itself on mp3, lyrics have been revised. Thanks for your input though.
cheers, niteshift
Short reply here, but I dig what you say in this one.....
Sometimes the message is given to us in a funny lyric like this, but it got through. It definitely got through.
Good work here.
I just wish that some of these idiots in Nashville would learn from this, y'know?
dawg.... gotta hand it to you... my sentiments exactly!!! do we have to conform to someone else's vision of god or jesus??? i like this one!!
scotty
hey this song is wonderful
Nice to see a Dawg post come up.
Hey Bobbie, would you like me to change his user name to his actual name so folks can learn him by name?
Brian
Hi Brian...that'd be great...except I think you "might" confuse folks who knew him as Dawg and might have no clue who Corky Bernard was. I am getting some of his stuff put to music though...so it is probably best to use Corky Bernard. Think most folks who did know him as Dawg would also know his real name anyway...so may be a moot point.
Did you see my note about me heading north tomorrow (Friday)? May call you from the road if you are gonna be home.
Hugs and happy holidays,
Bobbie
Hey Bobbie,
Howdy Partner !
Revised link is here. ( I just recently made a musical move over to iacmusic.com )
http://iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=49205&ArtistID=70202Woke up, logged on, saw the title on the side, fell off the chair, thought we got picked up by "someone", took another heart pill.......now all is well
This ones for you Dawg....
cheers, niteshift
i love these lyrics. really good, original. it made me laugh. good job
If I am not mistaken...Was this lyric one of dawg's last?
So many of us miss his presence here.
Emily
Hi Bobbie,
This is the first lyric I've read written by him. It's a great message. It's also easy to see why you two got along so well. Now I'll have to look up some more.
Hi Emily,
Yes, this was one of Dawg's last lyrics. His very last one was Hayride to Heaven. Lot of folks tell me they still miss his presence here. I sure do. It was always a treat to see what his fertile mind came up with next. He was certainly unique and incredibly talented. Thank you for your sweet remembrance.
Love 'n hugs,
Bobbie