One Clothespin At a Time
Cindy Miller
© 2001

Verse
She was a single mom
He lived in the house next door
They shared a common fence line
That turned into something more

Raisin’ kids alone was tough
But each morning was a gift
Cause he’d be getting home then
From working the graveyard shift

Chorus
And twice a week at half past three
They met in her backyard, faithfully
She’d be hangin blue jeans, he was kickin dirt
She’d reach in the basket, pull out another shirt
There was always a mountain of laundry to climb
And so they fell in love, one clothespin at a time

Verse
She’d been married once
To a man with roamin eyes
Gave him a son and daughter
Then he hung her out to cry

His first marriage crumbled
And he was takin it bad
He wanted to be so much more
Than just a weekend dad

Chorus
Still twice a week at half past three
They met in her backyard, faithfully
She’d be hangin blue jeans, he was kickin dirt
She’d reach in the basket, pull out another shirt
There was always a mountain of laundry to climb
And so they fell in love, one clothespin at a time

Bridge
It wasn’t a matter of uncertainty
It was just a matter of time
That they’d build their new family
Thanks to that clothesline

And every day they spend together
Every day their passion grows
Cause they have the rest of forever
And tons of dirty clothes

Modified Chorus
So, twice a week at half past three
They meet in their backyard, faithfully
She’s hangin those blue jeans, and he’s kickin dirt
She reaches in the basket, pulls out his work shirt
There will always be a mountain of laundry to climb
But that’s how they fell in love, one clothespin at a time

Hanging clothes on the line was never this interesting for me. What a great hook and story.

I like the verses and the flow of the story. I like the choruses, but I can't seem to read them. I think I am very locked into 4/8/16/etc., and when the number of lines is not one of those, I have trouble. But it's probably just me. I see a lot of things written that don't seem to stay in the 4/8/16/etc. format. Also, if I heard this with music, some of my confusion may be cleared up.

I'm just going to say that this is a solid idea, and good luck.

Thanks for the read. Sometimes a hook comes from the strangest place. My husband came home for lunch and I was clicking away on the keyboard and he stood behind me reading the words and said, "You think this one up as you were hanging out the clothes?" He's always wondering where I come up with things.

Your question about length of lines could very well be valid. I don't have music, but I had kind of a rhythm going as I was reading it, so I think it flows "fairly" well, but I won't really know until(unless) a composer takes a shine to it.

Thanks for your kind words and for reading.

Tink

I always enjoy taking a look at your stuff tink, you have a real gift for putting your stories together in a nice package. The only think i might suggest is 'lot line' seems a little out of place. I will have to think on suggestions for it though. Perhaps just 'fence' or something.

as a composer, I wouldn't worry too much about the chorus. It makes it more interesting to have a turn of rhythm to play with.

Keep up the great writing, and tell your husband to keep on guessing! It is giving you some great ideas!

Thanks for reading and for the kind words. I just love it when you look! Lot could very easily be changed to fence if need be. Maybe "lot line" is more commonly used around here, cause we talk about "lot lines" with our neighbors all the time. Trying to talk them into lettin us extend ours a couple of feet onto theirs....

I appreciate the feedback from a musician, I'm never really sure if something will work musically or not.

'preciate the comments and as you can see, I've decided to change it to fence line. Seems to be a more universal phrase. Thanks for the input.

And thank you for saying such nice nice things!!!

No time to write much today -- I'm RECORDING.

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Best Regards and Aloha,

Thanks for the kind words and I spose I could change the dirt line and what she's pullin outta the basket. Shirt is a tough word to rhyme.

Recording, eh? Sounds intriguing. Hope all is going well!!

really super work..here..,

quote:

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Originally posted by Tink2:
Hi Charlie,

Thanks for the kind words and I spose I could change the dirt line and what she's pullin outta the basket. Shirt is a tough word to rhyme.

Recording, eh? Sounds intriguing. Hope all is going well!!

Aloha backatcha!
;)
Tink

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Kickin' dirt is Grrreat the first time or two when they was meetin' up (bein' shy an' all, plus gettin' his courage up, etc.), but only after they settled in together was when I didn't really get it. But otherwise great, so mebbe change it just in the last modif. chorus?

Aloha Backatcha Backatcha!

Charlie

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Best Regards and Aloha,

Verse
She was a single mom
He lived in the house next door
They shared a common fence line
That turned into something more

I wiah there was a better way of stating that third line, but I guess there isn't. And the fourth line telegraphs the whole rest of the story! I'd change that, but to what, I dunno.

Raisin’ kids alone was tough
But each morning was a gift
Cause he’d be getting home then
From working the graveyard shift

Fine.....

Chorus
And twice a week at half past three
They met in her backyard, faithfully

How about:

And twice a week at half past one
They met and made their chores more fun

Or something like that? Just a thought.

She’d be hangin HER jeans, HE'D BE kickin dirt

Kickin' dirt from where?

She’d reach in HER basket AND pull out A SKIRT
There was always a mountain of laundry to climb
(And-- delete) So they fell in love, one clothespin at a time

Cute chorus!

Verse
She’d been married once
To a man with roamin eyes
Gave him a son and daughter
Then (he-- delete) hung her out to cry

Cute last line!

His first marriage crumbled
And he was takin it bad
He wanted to be so much more
Than just a weekend dad

Chorus
SO twice a week at half past three
They met in her backyard, faithfully
She’d be hangin HER jeans, HE'D BE kickin dirt
She’d reach in HIS basket AND pull out A shirt

You like the subtle change in that line from how I wrote it in the previous chorus?

There was always a mountain of laundry to climb
(And-- delete) So they fell in love, one clothespin at a time

Bridge
It wasn’t a matter of uncertainty
It was just a matter of time
That they’d build their new family
Thanks to that clothesline

"Matter of time/that clothesline" doesn't meter well, and that third line is crying out for some kinda of laundry metaphor. "That they'd hang their heartaches out to dry".... something like that. You can think of something better.

And every day they spend together
Every day their passion grows
Cause they have the rest of forever
And tons of dirty clothes

Adequate, but could be punched up.

Modified Chorus
So, twice a week at half past three
They meet in their backyard, faithfully
She’s hangin those blue jeans, and he’s kickin dirt
She reaches in the basket, pulls out his work shirt
There will always be a mountain of laundry to climb
But that’s how they fell in love, one clothespin at a time

You've got the right idea for the final chorus, but a couple that lives together doesn't "meet" in the backyard, per se. You also might want to change a couple more lines in the final chorus to make it more different, since their situation is so different by then.

All in all, this is really good, and has an air of reality to it that makes a lyric commercial. Good luck with it!

I'm late to the party again. Don't see too many clotheslines anymore...course you don't see too many stories in small town papers where some pervert has broken into a laundry room to steal a woman's undies out of her dryer either.

Good song, a different idea with a twist on the laundrymat theme. Enjoyed the read a bunch.

I guess being from small town Iowa, it was just natural to write "lot line", then it seemed a pretty viable solution to switch to "fence line" for clarity's sake. Someone else mentioned on another board, I think, to switch it to clothesline, but I'm not sure about that. I didn't want them to be sharing the clothesline, I wanted it to be that he'd venture over into "her" backyard while she was hanging clothes, just to talk to her. Like he was making an effort. BUT...I haven't settled on anything yet and may rewrite some of the verses to clear things up a bit. Thank you so much for all the kind words, it is much appreciated.

Kaley, thank you for you nice comments on this lyric. The strangest and most mundane things seem to inspire me. Got lots of things running through my lil head all the time.

Judy, "Pegs", eh?? Well, that makes sense. Glad you liked it and thanks for the kind words!!

Charlie, thanks again for the wonderful suggestions. I'm still "kickin" that line around...

As always, you've got some good points and good suggestions. I'm still mulling this one over a bit and I printed off your suggestions so I can consider them in the rewrite. Thanks so much for taking the extra time to fine tooth comb it, I really appreciate it!!

Wirdaz,

Thank you for your vote of confidence with this lyric. It just popped into my head as I was hanging clothes on the clothesline yesterday. At first it was gonna be "Clothesline Love", but "Love" is a tough word to rhyme with.

Dawg, you always got something interesting to add to the fray, don't ya!!?? Stealing women's undies....shame on you... Thanks for reading and for the kind words, it's always appreciated!

Thanks again to all!

THOUGHT I Posted on this Lyric Last Night...Musta been on The Other Board, eh?

Anyways, I LOVED this Angle & the Writin' Job, Only "Nit" was the "Kickin' Dirt" line, recommended changin' to "DIGGIN' Dirt" which makes More Sense...the Guy GARDENS, Right? (What a CATCH, Eh?)

Story's So SWEET, I'll just Wave my Mornin' Cornflakes past the TV Screen, eh? :-)

Thanks again, again....

I have to weigh in on hung her out to cry--best line in the whole song. I love it. It has everything. It's a twist on an old cliche, which is very popular in country music and it pays on the whole laundry theme. This is very cute! You've gotten some good suggestions. At first I thought Anthony's suggestion about changing the laundry time to half past one wasn't good because who gets off work then, but you already said he works the graveyard shift. Half past one has potential...the kids are away at school, gives the romance a chance to blossom. Anyway, I really like the lyrics and the whole idea behind it.

Can't wait to write one that's your "cup 'o tea" Hey? You ever read my "Closet Biker Chick" or "Shameless Girls at Shayne's"? Seriously, since it isn't your style, I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on it!!

Ashleigh...

What a doll you are!! Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm still kicking around some tweaking ideas. Appreciate the look and the comments.

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Best Regards and Aloha,

I have to admit, it would be difficult to shave the chorus and still maintain all the references I intended, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Sounds like a challenge and I thrive on challenges....you'll realize that about me as you get to know me.