Kim, the first two lines are very descriptive. But line 3 is a clunker. Chests don't resonate from a drum beat...at least not very loudly. But that should be easy enough to fix and the rest of verse 1 is fine. And the chorus is fine.

In verse 2 I'm baffled by "Live Oak." What's that? The rest of the verse is fine.

The first 2 lines of the bridge are also fine. But lines 3 and 4 ring false. Why would they have to be patient and waiting on you? They're going to have a party. It will go on without you. So why not simply say something like "But I don't feel like celebrating so why should I pretend?"

Anyway, just some thoughts of mine. This is a well written lyric. Keep up the good work.

Last edited by Dan Sullivan; 01/04/14 12:05 AM.
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