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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4 |
Tammy,
The uke sounds great on this as does your voice. You have a really nice melody for this as well. Well sung and played.
I just thought I would paste-in an example of how the lyric could be edited a bit to make it sing better.
A rainbow's arc doesn't last
So delight the moment, not future or past
Treasure love, don't let go
Live in the present, embrace its soul
the words above do not change the meaning, but they just eliminate some of the wordiness. Also, there are a few cliche things in the lyric "tear stained" etc. I know you did not write the lyric but as a collab doing the music, you can enhance it some. Several years ago, I did a song with Barry Crannell and we went back and forth on the lyric for a long time. But I'm glad we did that because it came-out much better.
Just some thoughts. You are sounding awesome!
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