Originally Posted by Travis david

RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR

V
A wild wind was blowing
then soon it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
hot coffee brewing on the wire
and longed for the spring sunshine
v
Winters worst I've been through
can't lick a warming pan of stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hound dogs company
have a radio, but no TV
miscellaneous words I need to rhyme

c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
The footprints in the snow
are incoming and those that go
but you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a cabin for miles
unspoilt beauty raw and wild
brought my gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack

c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design

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RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR BY DESIGN

V
Strong wind was blowing
then it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
hot coffee on the wire
and longing for the spring sunshine
v
Cold freezes me right through
cooked a warming pan of stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hounds company
have a radio, but no TV
miscellaneous words I need to rhyme

c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
The footprints in the snow
oncoming and then they go
you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a soul for miles
unspoilt beauty but wild
need a gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack

c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design


Hey Travis,

I like your hook here, and the payoff in the chorus especially. I might be inclined though, to strip it down even further, to "Recluse Troubadour" -- for sing-ability purposes.

I also enjoyed the story...I think it's very relatable for certain folks of the creative persuasion.

To be honest, I felt your original lyric was a bit more streamlined and accordingly had a greater sense of urgency. Although, depending on the music and how it was sung... version 2 might work better.

Would love to hear this one musicated Travis. Good luck with it.

Cheers,
Beth

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."