I'm having another go at a refugee-related lyric. (I deleted the one I'd posted earlier.)

I prefer not to dwell on heart-wrenching nitty-gritty details or the specific personal stories. There are enough of these online. The song will be largely music-driven, so I think the lyric can paint the picture in broad strokes, simply supporting the mood.

Your constructive critique is most welcome.

UPDATE: I've made several changes, including restructuring the chorus.

Donna

Note:
In Arabic, which is spoken in Syria, one word for 'my darling' (when addressing a female) is 'habibi' (or 'habibti').

Billy will be composing music with a Middle Eastern flavour, so I think it will be all right to use the word 'habibti'.

NEW VERSION 25.10

Run, Habibti, Now Run!

V1
Her husband and son
Are the blood on her blouse
Which stained the debris
Of what was a house
Her mother's last words were
Run, habibti, now run!

Pre-chorus
She's a drop in an ocean
Of refugee souls
A swell that won't stop
And oh, what a toll

Chorus
Past barbed-wire borders
She hurries along
Driven by waves of despair
...Past angry red scrawls
On signs that inform her
In capital letters
…She's not welcome there

V2
The pains have begun
Though she's still on the tracks
She longs to lie down
But no going back
Her mother's last words were
Run, habibti, now run!

Pre-chorus
She's a drop in an ocean
Of refugee souls
A life without war
Their desperate goal

Chorus
Past barbed-wire borders
She hurries along
Driven by waves of despair
...Past angry red scrawls
On signs that inform her
In capital letters
…She's not welcome there

Instrumental bridge

Chorus
Past barbed-wire borders
She hurries along
Driven by waves of despair
...Past angry red scrawls
On signs that inform her
In capital letters
…She's not welcome there

Outro
'Run, habibti'
Run, habibti'
'Run, habibti, now run!'

© 2015 Donna Devine

-----------------------------
ORIGINAL VERSION
Run, Habibti, Now Run!

V1
The blood on her blouse
Will never wash out
It poured from her husband and son
Staining the rubble of what was a house
Where her grandmother screamed at her
'Run, habibti, now run!'

Pre-chorus
She's a drop in an ocean
Of refugee souls
A swell that won't stop
And oh, what a toll

Chorus
Past barbed-wire borders
She tumbles ahead
Driven by waves of despair
Past angry red scrawls
On signs that inform her
In capital letters
…She's not welcome there

V2
She follows the tracks
But stumbling now
The pains have already begun
Longs to lie down but there's no going back
She remembers her grandmother's
'Run, habibti, now run!'

Pre-chorus
She's a drop in an ocean
Of refugee souls
A swell that won't stop
And oh, what a toll

Chorus
Past barbed-wire borders
She tumbles ahead
Driven by waves of despair
Past angry red scrawls
On signs that inform her
In capital letters
…She's not welcome there

Bridge
She thinks of her flag
She envies the eagle, its wings that unfurl
Sweeping the sky while it circles the world
Gliding wherever it will
Heedless of human compulsions to kill

Chorus
Past barbed-wire borders
She tumbles ahead
Driven by waves of despair Past angry red scrawls
On signs that inform her
In capital letters
…She's not welcome there

Outro
'Run, habibti'
Run, habibti'
'Run, habibti, now run!'

© 2015 Donna Devine

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Life is too important to take seriously.