Originally Posted by beechnut79
A HAND TO HOLD

c2016 Brian Beecher


WHEN YOU feel a little moody
And find it hard to crack a smile
It's ok to TAKE aN emotional
Dive every once in a while

When YOU'RE stuck down at the bottom
And feel you've hit a rock
I KNOW HOW I can help you
Swim back up to the top

I'll give you a hand to hold
To give you shelter from the cold
The kind that can't be bought or sold
But can light the darkest day

Because you need THE SUN TO SHINE
Where your source of strength should reside
So that all of your days seem bright
In a very special way

When the sky looks a little darker
And you cannot spread your wings
Making you focus even harder
And that can be a good thing ......don't think you need this

Just remember to be thankful
That you've been given a head start
I may want you even more
Than I ever have before
I can feel it in my heart

I've give you a hand to hold
To give you shelter from the cold
The kind that can't be bought or sold
But can light the darkest day

Because you need THE SUN TO SHINE
Where your source of strength should reside
So that all of your days seem bright
In a very special way
In a very special way



Hey there Beech,

Good to see ya, and with such a sentimental lyric too.

I do think though, it could use a little tightening up. And while I appreciate you mixing up your rhyme systems from one section to the next, it does make it a bit tricky from a flow standpoint.

Also, in the second verse, what does the "one" refer to?

When you get stuck down at the bottom
And you feel like you've hit a rock
There is one in which I can help you
To swim back up to the top

Anyhoo, for what it's worth, I tried to play around with it a little. As usual, KOS!!

Thanks for sharing....

Beth

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."