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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 9,060 Likes: 95
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 9,060 Likes: 95 |
On this tune the lyrics work in a brill building Frank Sinatra my way sort of wwy, where the lyrics are concise and simple, he achieved it, but you made it a country folk tune. But problem with the lyrics is that it's such a general idea for such a powerful song.
Your melody runs into the chorus very seamlessly but it seems He wrote it expecting more of a chorusey thing. Your instinct worked better.
I don't do very well ,with collabs, I can do them but I almost never do anything good with them, I need them to come out at same time.
Anyway, I would work on the sunglasses song. Again you have an epic sounding chorus and really good verse, the pre chorus is great too. The lyric should make more significance to the sunglasses, used more metaphorically, or even ditching the sunglass for something else.
Girl walks around with sunglasses to hide from the world? Maybe, they do come in handy when hiding when your on dope or drunk. I was thinking if she had a specific problem like that, the glasses make more sense. But she needs the drugs or dope to function, but the glasses help hide that, although she can't wear the glasses at work, or around friends or family.
Maybe she wears them when she goes dancing, to hide her shyness.
What I'm saying is wearing sunglasses to hide who she is is not that interesting. But the tune is so good and music that it can survive.
why not try for the triple?
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 05/27/20 10:36 PM.
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