The Blueberry Muffin Bandit
https://suno.com/s/nsn6PIzq4dxBWAkZ

[Instrumental Intro]

[Verse]
Kitchen light at half past ten
Should’ve gone to bed, but there I went
Saw that tray sittin’ on the stove
Blueberry magic, fresh and warm

[Verse]
I heard a voice say, “Take the small”
But temptation echoed through the hall
Then my hand reached out real slow
Like a man who knew he oughta know

[Pre-chorus]
Deep inside, I knew the truth
Greed looks silly in house shoes

[Chorus]
I’m the Blueberry Muffin Bandit
Took the biggest one and ran with it
Now I’m sittin’ here with crumbs on my chest
And a guilty little ache where my heart should rest

Oh, that muffin tasted mighty fine
But guilt can rise like dough sometimes
Every hungry soul will understand it
You can’t outrun the Muffin Bandit

[Break]

[Verse]
My wife walked in the morning light
Counted muffins, somethin’ wasn’t right
She looked at me, I looked away
Suddenly interested in my coffee stains

[Verse]
She said, “Funny how the large one’s gone…”
I hummed a weak defensive song
Then Toby barked like he knew the score
That little snitch wanted one more

[Pre-chorus]
Could’ve split it fair and square
Now I’m haunted by baked goods everywhere

[Chorus]
I’m the Blueberry Muffin Bandit
Took the biggest one and ran with it
Now I’m sittin’ here with crumbs on my chest
And a guilty little ache where my heart should rest

Oh, that muffin tasted mighty fine
But guilt can rise like dough sometimes
Every hungry soul will understand it
You can’t outrun the Muffin Bandit

[Bridge]
Maybe guilt’s a little sign
That love matters all the time
Not about the muffin that I stole
Just remembering to think beyond myself sometimes

[Interlude]

[Final chorus]
I’m the Blueberry Muffin Bandit
But I’m changin’ — yes, I’ve planned it
Next time I’ll leave the biggest one behind
…Probably. Depends what kind.

Oh, life is sweet and love’s gigantic
Even for a breakfast-time romantic
And every husband understands it
Beware the rise of the Muffin Bandit

[Outro]