Oh, Calvin, this one (shall we say) sleighs me.

Couple thoughts--based on what I hear in my head when I read this. Feel free to ignore if they don't work. How about:

"Nasty fishnet stockings
Little see-through tops..."

and

"...They oughta draw the blinds
Poor reindeer cannot concentrate..."

I particularly liked the "Remote controlled candy cane/Turn it on and go insane." I will never look at some Christmas decorations the same way again.

I bet there's a market for this. (No, I'm not sure where it is--but I'd like to find out.)

Joe
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